


A Leap of Faith

by MissLightBright



Series: Nuisance Next Door [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Cheating, False Memories, Frustration, Gun Violence, Hiding Medical Issues, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Neglect, Relationship Issues, Resentment, Self-Hatred, Threats, Tony Angst, Tony Has Issues, Tony Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 57,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLightBright/pseuds/MissLightBright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third installment of the "Nuisance Next Door" series. Life for Tony and Loki was pretty good despite Loki's ongoing medical issues. They both thought that they had finally found a stable plateau in their relationship... But where Loki is happy, something is bound to ruin it. Why would this time be any different?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going Away

Tony scribbled rapidly across a single sheet of paper, glancing periodically up at Loki at the far side of the room. Loki had long fallen asleep on the couch, lying upside down on the couch with his head on the seat and his feet propped up on the top. Sleeping often was sort of newest addition to Loki's head issues. With all of the memory recall, his brain decided that he needed to sleep a whole ton more, hence why Loki was sleeping after only being awake for three hours.

Looking back at his list, Tony tapped his pen against his coffee mug, brainstorming. Thor was coming today to take care of Loki for the weekend since Tony had to be away in New York for a meeting. It was the first time Tony's going to be away from Loki since they've moved into Tony's old house and it scared the shit out of him. Was Thor really up for the job? There was all of Loki's meds and his therapy and his routine in general… All Tony could hope is that Thor would follow the fucking list.

He scanned the list one more time to be sure that he hadn't forgotten anything and then took a long drink from his coffee. He was too young to be having this much stress.

"Would you stop it? I can feel you worrying from over here."

Tony glanced up to see that Loki was finally awake again, watching Tony from his upside down position. "I'm not worrying, I'm… I'm prepared."

Loki clicked his tongue in amusement before flipping over, ruffling his messy hair. "It will be fine, Tony. It's just two whole days. What could possibly go wrong in that time?"

" _Please_ don't say that," Tony said, discarding his coffee in favor of folding up Thor's note and pocketing it for safe keeping. "Only horrible things can follow that question."

Loki rolled his eyes, pulled himself onto his lanky legs, and crossed the room to crowd Tony's personal space. He brushed his fingers along the span of Tony's shoulders and leaned in for a kiss. Tony kissed back eagerly, threading his fingers into Lok's pretty black hair. "Careful now," Tony whispered into Loki's lips, "this is a new suit."

"Oh, please. You wouldn't care one bit if this suit got a little… dirty," Loki laughed.

Tony grinned. "You're right, I wouldn't." He pulled Loki closer, kissing him again.

"Ugh, this is not how I wanted to start my weekend," Thor's booming voice interrupted them.

Loki jumped back from Tony, growing pink in the face. "Oh, Thor! We've been expecting you!"

Thor made a face of mock disgust, setting his bag down on the kitchen floor. "Clearly not."

"We didn't hear you come in." Laughing again, Loki beamed. Tony felt a fresh rush of relief. Since Loki wasn't in school right now and only worked at the book shop Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, he didn't get out much. Well, besides therapy and going to his shrink, but who could really call that 'getting out?'

"I'm glad you're here," Tony said, standing from his stool and crossing the room to Thor. He immediately whipped out the sheet of paper and placed it into Thor's hands. "Make sure to read this list carefully and you have to do everything on there. Because I swear, if Loki misses any of these things, I will bring the hammer down!"

Loki looked horrified. "You made him a list? Tony!"

"I know you're a big boy, Loks, but I need my piece of mind."

"Tony," Loki whined.

Tony ruffled Loki's hair, smiling. He knew that Loki wanted to try to keep to his schedule by himself, but Tony's poor heart wouldn't be able to handle that. It's been four months since they've moved into this house and Loki's memory was only gradually improving. There was still a lot to do. "Look, Thor's in charge, okay? Be good, you hear?"

The glare Loki casted Tony was comical. Regardless, Loki let himself be swept into a bone-crushing hug and Tony pressed a kiss to Loki's cheek. "Loks, fine, Thor won't be in charge." Loki blinked at Tony. "Jarvis is now in charge."

Loki groaned. Overhead, Jarvis's voice sounded, "I would be delighted to conduct the household."

"You got it, Jarv," Tony replied, letting go of Loki and turning back to Thor. "Both of you listen to Jarvis, okay?"

"This is ridiculous!" Loki said, exasperated.

Thor just grinned at their bantering before returning his attention back to the list in his hand. Tony patted the big guy's shoulder. "You think you can handle it?"

"You can count on me, friend Stark."

"Okay, I'm heading out then! You two have fun!"

Loki followed him all the way to the front door with Thor close behind, keeping his eyes on Loki like he was fragile. Tony could definitely relate. "Be safe, okay?" Loki told him with pleading eyes.

Tony tapped him on the nose. "You got it, Loks." He turned with a wave and made his way into the driveway, turning on his car with his starter remote and glanced back at the brothers. It felt incredibly wrong to leave Loki behind, but he knew he would be safe. Big brother Thor would be sure to watch out for him. Besides, if that failed, Sprinkles and Jarvis were both there to make sure Loki was okay.

So Tony forced himself to get into his car. He would be back soon anyway.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki felt a twinge of sadness as Tony's car disappeared down the street. He would miss Tony dearly, that much was certain.

"So what now?" Thor asked shortly after. He stooped to the floor to pick up Sprinkles who had just appeared at the doorway.

Loki watched them fondly. "I don't know, you've got the list," Loki said. That wasn't true. Loki knew that he had his memory exercises next but he wanted to see if Thor could really figure it out.

Flustered, Thor took the page back out of his pocket, already wrinkled from being manhandled, and started to read. "Ah! Here it says we play a memory game," Thor said, pointing it above breakfast and meds.

"Good deduction, Sherlock. Let's get to it then."

Thor pocketed the list and turned inside. Loki followed a bit slower, glancing one last time at the empty street.

Sprinkles was purring by the time they made it to the living room but oppositely, Loki's mood was starting to plunge. He hated playing the memory card game and he was just starting to fill sick. Spontaneous nausea… all part of being brain damaged.

With Thor's help, Loki slowly made his way through a game of memory. Sprinkles didn't make it easier while he tried to play in the middle of the card game, but Loki managed. See, Loki's long term memory was definitely improving. He could basically almost recognize any part of the daily routine Tony had set up for him, but Loki was still struggling with his short term memory. He could sometimes forget what they did minutes ago and Loki would forget things that really shouldn't be forgotten like what day it was, what they had for breakfast, or what time therapy was at.

"Good job, Loki!" Thor boomed, throwing Loki from his thoughts. "You got them all a second time. That was a quick game!"

Loki looked down at his hands to find the matches lined up underneath his fingers. He didn't remember doing that. "Oh, yeah, thanks."

"Shall we do another?"

The nausea was still swimming in Loki's throat, so he shook his head. "I think I need to go lie down."

Thor glanced down at Tony's list, trying to decide if that was acceptable.

"It's fine, Thor. I can take a nap. See, I'll even ask Jarvis." Loki looked up at the ceiling where the speakers were, and said, "Jarvis, would you please tell Thor that I need a nap?"

"Master Loki is correct. I highly recommend that you leave Loki to his own devices for the time being."

"Thanks, Jarvis," Loki said, standing slowly and stretching his arm high overhead. He tried to make himself look casual but his stomach was churning more than ever. Suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. He mumbled an excuse to Thor before turning and practically sprinting upstairs, down the hall and into the bathroom. He made it just in time to hurl powerfully into the porcelain toilet.

Emptying his stomach of the French toast from this morning, Loki immediately wished that Tony wasn't going to be gone this weekend. Tony would be holding his hair back right now, brushing his back with warm strokes. Tony knew that Loki didn't throw up often, so he also knew that barfing was followed by a really bad day.

Thor appeared in the doorway just as Loki heaved out another violent turn of his stomach and he immediately went to Loki, scooping Loki's hair out the way. He continued to empty his stomach, panting heavily, his eyes stinging. "It's okay," Thor murmured, beginning to stroke Loki's back.

Loki gasped for air, struggling back another round. "Did Tony tell you to do this?" Loki rasped out. The words barely left him before he had to force his face back at the toilet, dry-heaving.

"Tony may have written it down," Thor said sheepishly, rubbing Loki's back harder.

Spitting into the toilet, Loki felt a lapse in his sickness and he laid his head exhaustedly against the toilet. "That bastard."

"He was well prepared," Thor said. "He really cares about you."

"Yeah," Loki said fondly. "I don't know why." He turned to puke some more.

Loki really wished he could give Tony more. He was just a broken person that Tony had to drag around, to take care of like a child. Loki wished that he could hurry up and get better already because he wanted to be everything to Tony. He wanted to return Tony's concern and take care of Tony for once. He wished a lot of things actually.

The dry-heaving slowed and Loki finally laid down on the floor, feeling the familiar headache creeping into his mind. Thor left the room, going to get Loki's migraine medication while Sprinkles meanwhile sat dutifully at Loki's side.

"Master Loki," Jarvis inquired, "shall I inform Anthony of your illness?"

Loki closed his eyes, pressing his cheek into the cold tile. "No, let him enjoy his weekend, Jarv. He deserves more than five minutes without worrying."

"Yes, sir," Jarvis said, and then went quiet.

Eventually Thor returned and he set to work at helping Loki take his medication. Soon after that, Thor lifted Loki up off the tile and carried him down the hallway to the bedroom. It was exactly what Tony would do. "Did Tony write this down too?" He opened his eyes to look at Thor.

As an answer, Thor smiled. "He's thorough."

"How did he fit all of that on that stupid piece of paper?" Loki closed his eyes as his head hit his pillow. His body sunk down into the mattress gratefully and he sighed.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Thor asked, hovering.

Sprinkles hopped onto the bed and curled himself into the crook of Loki's arm. Loki shook his head. "No. Just go and do something. Enjoy yourself. I'll be better before dinner, I'm sure."

Thor looked unsure and Loki had to stare up at him with an encouraging smile, even though he didn't feel like smiling at all. "Please? I'll be fine."

"Okay…" Thor said slowly. "Just… I'll just check on you in a little bit."

Loki nodded again and waited until Thor finally left before sighing tiredly into his pillow. He wished that this kind of thing would stop happening. He wished that he could stop being a burden on everyone.

Like he said before, he wished a lot of things.


	2. Down the Rabbit Hole

Tony's limo slowed in front of a gaudy new high-rise. It was the recently finished Stark Industries headquarters which sported in blatant blue-white letters: Stark. The glare of its lights reigned high above New York City and it was obvious at any angle.

Tony leaned against the door and craned his neck up at the magnificent sight, almost impressed that his father made something so ugly look so majestic at the same time. "You're making it look like we're full of ourselves," Tony told his father, letting his eyes flicker away for a moment.

Howard sat on the opposite side of the limo, smiling smugly. "Which we are, son. Why deny it?"

Rolling his eyes, Tony glanced up at it again with a grin of his own and he snapped a quick picture of it to send off to Loks. He typed a message to go with it and then pocketed the phone hurriedly as his door was opened for him. Tony slipped out of the door and he was immediately bombarded with dozens of flashing cameras, so he quickly straightened his suit and waved at the reporters. When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Tony really had to resist the urge to take it out to see what Loki had said.

His father clapped him on the shoulder, giving the crowd a shot of father and son together. "How about we get inside?" Howard asked.

Tony nodded, his fingers itching for his phone. "The faster the better."

The lobby was just as flashy as the outside of the building but the quiet inside was sweet, sweet relief. Tony went to reach into his pocket when he was interrupted, "Howard, Tony! Oh, it's been too long!"

Tony recognized the man immediately: Obadiah Stane. He was his father's oldest business partner and friend. Tony hadn't seen him in years, though, not since he was 14.

"Tony, you remember Obadiah?" Howard asked, going to his friend and clapping him on the shoulder. When Tony nodded, Howard continued, "Obadiah will be working closely with you during your training. When I am unavailable, Obadiah is to be your mentor. He will show you the ins and outs of the business and you'll soon be ready to take over the company with his help."

Obadiah laughed shortly, shaking his head. "Howard, stop trying to flatter me."

The two old man laughed together while Tony watched fondly. He forgot how carefree his father could be with his friend. "Nice to see you again, Obadiah," Tony said. They shook hands.

"No need to be formal with me, Tony," Howard grinned. He dropped the handshake in favor of placing a steady hand on Tony's shoulder. "We'll be working long hours together, you and I."

A small brown-haired woman with a permanent frown came to stand near them. "Excuse me, but the representatives are waiting. I urge you to please make your way upstairs."

"Ah, that's what we're here for, after all," Howard said as if just realizing. "Thank you, dear. Tony, Obadiah, let's go."

Tony followed the two men to the nearby elevator, focusing on swallowing down his nerves. He had a company to run… eventually. He was determined to work his ass off because he wanted this company. He wanted to make it into something his father couldn't.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"He hasn't answered yet even though I texted him only moments after he sent that blasted photo! Does he not have sense?" Thor roared. Thor was walking worried circles in the carpet, clutching Loki's phone. "I should send him another text. Or can I call him? Is he in a meeting?"

"I don't know," Loki snapped, slamming a pillow over his throbbing head as his stomach swam uncomfortably. "Just close the blinds. Now." His brain was pounding. No, that wasn't the right word. Drilling. His damn brain was being drilled into with a dull, rusted drill. His head felt like it was really going to fucking explode.

Thor stumbled across the room and turned the blinds down, plunging the room into a dark gray light. The lack of sunlight soothed Loki's eyes, but only minutely. It still felt like he was dying. "Thor…" Loki said weakly, lifting the pillow off his head, to reach out at his brother. He felt really, really bad.

Loki winced as Thor snapped a picture of him. "Sorry," Thor said, typing into the phone. "I just want to see if Tony will reply to a picture, if not a text."

Loki wanted to murder his brother, or maybe break something, or maybe just die. It all hurt so much. What was happening right now? "Thor, I think I need to go to the hospital."

Looking up from the phone, Thor's eyes went wide with alarm. "It's that bad."

Tears leaked from Loki's eyes as his frustration grew. "It _hurts_ , Thor."

Quickly, Thor pocketed the phone and wrapped a strong arm around Loki, lifting him to his feet. "I've got you, brother. Everything will be fine."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony's phone buzzed again as he went into the meeting. His father eyed him sternly. Without looking his phone, he quickly silenced it and turned it off. His father would kill him if it went off again in the meeting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki was just being pushed into the front seat of Thor's car when the pain subsided just slightly. "Thor, wait," Loki said, stopping the door from being closed. "I think the head ache is ending." Loki's fingers were turning white from the hard pressure he was applying to his temples.

"We should still go to the hospital regardless," Thor said, looking incredibly worried.

Loki breathed in deeply, still feeling ill from the fading migraine. "Maybe if I just sleep…"

"Loki, please."

He looked at his brother, biting his lip. "Look, Thor. This has happened before. I am probably just dehydrated like usual and need more sleep."

"But you said this was the worse one yet." Thor looked like a damn kicked puppy.

Frustrated, Loki let out the most kiddish whine, even going as far as stamping his foot against the carpeted bottom of the car. "Thor, I just want to sleep or… or…" he trailed off as another wave nausea swept over him and without warning, he leaned over and effectively puked over Thor's prized new shoes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony managed to make it all the way through the meeting without fucking anything up and he felt quite proud of himself. The foreign representatives looked darn pleased by his father's presentation about the new war missiles and Tony was sure everything would go smoothly. He checked his phone to look at the time but realized then that it was still off. He went to turn it on when he was once again intercepted by who Tony thought was maybe a guy from Turkey? Maybe?

Smiling his best fake smile, Tony allowed himself to be swept away by the man he couldn't understand in the direction of the giant party that had just started a few floors down. Who knows, maybe the Turkish guy really knew how to to party!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki had his head between his knees, breathing deeply per Thor's request. He felt absolutely ridiculous, squatting so strangely in the wobbly Urgent Care chair, breathing loudly like an idiot. He had to hand it to Thor, though; he did feel better. A lot better actually.

"We really could go home now, Thor," Loki said softly, only feeling a small remaining sting between the eyes. "It's basically gone now."

"No," Thor said sternly from his perch at Loki's side. "We need to make sure everything is okay. I'm not leaving here until you're seen by a doctor."

Loki sighed heavily, letting his head drop between his knees again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was still early in the evening but already Tony was wasted. Honestly, Tony couldn't even remember the last time he's drunk so much scotch!

Grasping tightly his new glass of amber liquid, he stumbled through the gyrating bodies, laughing to himself as he tripped clumsily over a moving leg. He could hardly believe Howard had allowed such a party in his building.

Edging to the far side of the large room and shying away from the pulse of the music, Tony finally managed to slip out onto a balcony. He quickly shooed a kissing couple away, yelling profanities after them as they escaped.

Moments later, he finally had his phone in his hand. His numbed brain only thought of calling Loks.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki's hands trembled, tugging on the edge of the hospital gown that he wore. He felt naked and afraid and he felt it even more so with Thor's wide gaze on him. Loki felt like a circus show, an exhibit to be stared at. Damn it all, why couldn't his body just be _well_? Why did his body betray him so?

In Thor's hand, Loki's phone chimed in response to an incoming call, but Loki had no way of answering it. He was already being told to lie back by the technician, pushing him gently to his back. This MRI could tell them what was wrong… or not. They would just have to see.

Loki's headache was long gone now but the doctors were still concerned. When Thor had described of today's events, the doctors' faces had gone to a deep frown. It unnerved Loki.

On the other side of the glass, Loki could see his brother answer the call, turning away from Loki. Loki's fingers twitched and he almost wanted to force Thor to look at him. As if sensing Loki's internal pleading, Thor's sad blue eyes turned back on him just as Loki was slid slowly into the MRI machine.

Here goes nothing…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is a bit short! There's more to come soon!


	3. Moving Too Fast

Loki sat in an uncomfortable chair at the edge of the patient's room, waiting for the doctor to come back with the test results. This was all too scary. The doctor had led Loki to the room, moved a steady hand to his shoulder to gently guide him into a chair, but Loki hadn't missed the man's expression of complete pity. Something was wrong.

Thor hadn't even spoken yet, even though he had been sitting beside Loki for at least five minutes. Thor _always_ talked.

"What did you tell Tony?" Loki asked quietly, peering at Thor through his long bangs. His fingers felt jittery so he pulled at his shirt that he had just put back on.

Thor gave Loki a half smile. "I told him to sober up and call tomorrow."

"Nothing about the scan?"

"Nothing about the scan," Thor assured him.

Loki smiled at him, genuinely happy that Thor didn't say anything to Tony about this new frightening development. He didn't want Tony to worry about him any more than he was, especially with his new involvement with Stark Industries. "Thanks," Loki said, looking back at his hands.

Then there was a knock on the door, announcing the arrival of the doctor, and he stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. He smiled crookedly at Loki before stepping across the room to sit in the seat opposite from the brothers. "How are you feeling Loki?"

Loki shrugged. "Better than before, I suppose." He could still feel the dull sensation from the earlier pain but it was nowhere near the intensity it was before.

The doctor nodded, set a folder onto his lap and immediately opened it to reveal a stack of paperwork and a photograph of a brain; Loki's brain. Loki sat up straighter as he passed the picture to Loki. "It may not look obvious to you, Loki, but there is something I need to point out here," the doctor began. Loki briefly glanced at Thor's concerned eyes before looking back at the picture. "There appears to be some swelling in your brain due to a blood clot. Fortunately, the matter isn't serious, but there will be some steps we will need to take." He gestured to the section on the photo.

Loki's heart jolted. "What kind of steps?"

"At the most, we may need to perform brain surgery."

Loki was lost for words, glancing up at the man. Thor spoke for him, "Brain surgery for just a blood clot?"

The doctor looked apologetic. "Unfortunately this isn't just a normal blood clot. It is obviously affecting Loki seriously, especially with the reaction he had today. With the combined swelling, it could potentially be dangerous. What I recommend for you, Loki, is that we keep a close eye on the progression of this swelling and I would like to order some more tests for you tomorrow so that we can get to the bottom of this. Brain surgery would be our absolute last resort."

With his throat running dry, Loki cleared it, blinking back hot tears. "Can… Can a blood clot turn into a tumor?"

The doctor shook his head. "Blood clots are much different from tumors. There have been a few rare cases, but I don't foresee that being the issue here. The swelling and bleeding in your brain seems to be left over from some past trauma. I checked your medical history and I saw that you were in the hospital previously with multiple injuries, including blunt force to your head…"

Loki bit his lip. He could almost see Odin standing over him, ready to push him back into that tub to drown him once and for all. He shivered visibly and Thor wrapped a protective arm across Loki's shoulders.

"What time does he need to be here tomorrow?" Thor asked.

"Let's set up the appointment," the doctor said, taking back the photograph and snapping it shut in the folder. "We'll take care of you, Loki."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

With everything set up for the next day, Loki left the hospital room, walking slower than Thor. Tears were again flooding his eyes and it was starting to become impossible to hold them back. Wrapping his arms around himself, Loki blinked back the salty tears and allowed him to wallow in despair. Did his life really have to go on this never ending roller coaster of ups and downs, never to end? Would there ever be a day when Loki would finally be happy and healthy and whole? It seemed like every new obstacle was taking something new out of him.

"You okay?" Thor asked, slowing his pace to match Loki's.

Loki shook his head, breathing in shakily. "This sucks."

Thor nodded, agreeing, but said, "But it could be nothing. The doctor said the swelling could go away on its own."

Frowning, Loki looked away, blinking rapidly. "It's just that… my insurance sucks, you know? This is going to cost me a fortune and I don't have any money and Tony practically pays for everything. I don't need him paying for everything again. All he does is pay for me and my crappy body…"

Thor halted just in front of the hospital doors to exit the building and grabbed Loki's hands, slipping a glove onto each. "You never wear gloves. You'll be cold."

Loki stared at his brother as he adjusted the gloves individually, making sure that they were comfortable and snug. Honestly, Loki had forgotten about the cold when they had rushed to the car earlier in their haste to get to the hospital. It was, after all, the middle of February and although the snow was temporarily gone, it didn't mean it wasn't bitter cold out. "Neither of us are wearing coats but you remembered gloves?" Loki smiled.

His brother's corresponding pout was comical. "I didn't have time to think. You were too busy moaning and throwing up on me." Thor shuffled his feet uncomfortably and Loki glanced down at the pair of house slippers Thor had chosen to replace his barf-covered shoes. He laughed, wining a smile from Thor.

"Let's just go home," Loki said, steering him to the entrance. The double doors opened automatically and Loki's breath was knocked away. Slow flakes of snow were dancing from the sky, coming down in a thick flurry. The snow had been seriously lacking this year. It only snowed a bit in December and again in January but it all had melted quickly. "Do you think it will stay this time?" Loki asked, breathing out a hot puff of air.

Thor grinned. "We can only hope this time." Thor knew how much Loki adored cold weather. "Come, let's get to the car before you freeze."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later at home, Thor didn't know, but Loki gorged himself on all of the junk food from inside the kitchen. Thor was currently upstairs showering and Loki was currently forcing his way through a box of Tony's Twinkies, even after he had finished off Tony's ice cream from the freezer. He didn't really want to keep eating, but the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was better than the uneasy beating of his heart.

It was near ten at night and Loki was dead tired, but he was also afraid of falling asleep. His head still hurt a bit…

Suddenly Loki's stomach lurched under the weight of the junk food and he dropped his Twinkie, mid-bite, and clapped a hand over his mouth. Oh dear God, he was going to be sick.

Rushing to the first floor bathroom, Loki didn't even have time to turn on the light and instead found the nearest surface and vomited violently onto it, expelling all of the food from his belly. Gasping and choking, Loki wrapped his delicate fingers around the porcelain edge and continued to heavy into the empty space. In the dark light this, it was easy to imagine he was dying, especially when he realized what he was vomiting into. The tub.

A flash of Odin's face flashed in Loki's tortured mind. Loki forced himself to catch his breath for only the split second it took to scramble away from the tub to the toilet and he continued to vomit. He kept going until it was all gone, there was nothing else to throw up, and he was left to dry-heave with tears streaming down his face.

Breathing rapidly with his forehead pressed into his arm, Loki couldn't help the panicky flutter in his heart. Was the product of his stress eating? Or from his blood clot?

Scrunching his eyes shut, Loki turned away from the toilet and stood on shaky legs. He steadied himself on the sink before forcing his way out the door, not even worrying about the mess he had left behind. Instead, he worried about getting himself upstairs.

Eventually he found his bed, not even sure how he gotten there, but he collapsed into it, falling almost instantly into a fitful sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony didn't remember much from last night but he had woken with a massive headache. So, instead of making that public appearance today like he planned, he had decided to chance Howard's wrath and stayed in bed half the day.

What did make his day, however, was when he finally was on his flight home. He was excited to see Loki and he was anxious to tell Loki the news. His father wanted him to train in the matters of the company right away! What he was mostly nervous about was how Loki would respond to his prolonged stay in New York. Perhaps he could even convince Loki to come with him to the city for a while.

The flight was a breeze and soon he was back at home in Illinois, driving to his cozy little home in a small town in the country. It felt blissful, driving through the heavy snow storm with the heat blasting and soft rock playing in his speakers.

It was about five in the evening on Sunday when he finally pulled into the drive, crunching over a pile of snow in the driveway. Tony waded his way through the high snow drifts to the front of the house, letting himself in through the unlocked door.

"I'm home!" Tony hollered into the house, slamming the door behind him and dropping his briefcase to the side. Silence followed his words. "Loki? Thor?"

Thor came pounding down the stairs. The look on his face was of pure annoyance. "Please calm yourself, Anthony. I just finally got Loki to sleep." He frowned at Tony like he was a cockroach under his boot.

Tony looked at the ceiling. "Loki's sleeping already. Why?"

Again, Thor frowned at him. "Tony, there is something I must tell you…"

Those words sent a chill down Tony's spine and suddenly Tony remembered his conversation with Thor from yesterday. _'Anthony, Loki's in no condition to speak with you. Call back when you have sobered yourself.'_

"Thor, what's wrong with Loki?"

"You may want to sit down, Tony."

Tony's breath caught, sending his heart thumping tenfold. In a flash Tony was sent up the stairs, taking it two at the time and Thor pounded after him. At his and Loki's shared bedroom, Tony wrenched open the door but stopped in his tracks at the sight. Loki laid in his usual haphazard position with limbs every which way while Sprinkles slept dutifully at his side. The two looked absolutely normal and peaceful.

Allowing himself a sigh of relief, Tony gently returned the door to a close. He was just pulling the knob silently back into place when Thor spoke, "Loki's been throwing up."

Tony looked up at Thor, nodding. "Yeah it's a side effect of his medication."

"It's not." Thor's words were flat. He grabbed Tony's arm and yanked him roughly away from Loki's door and back downstairs. Once they were fully out of range of Loki's earshot, and into the living room, Thor turned to him. "Yesterday I had to take Loki to the ER."

Every fiber of Tony's being stilled with Thor's words. "What?"

"Severe headache, vomiting, body aches," Thor counted off on his fingers. "Loki was ordered a CT scan and they made him come back today for more tests."

"What…" Tony repeated again, starting to feel numb. Loki had been seriously fine, for the most part, when he had left just yesterday.

"He's fine," Thor said, regaining Tony's attention. "He just has some swelling around a blood clot in his brain. It didn't get worse from yesterday. They will be monitoring it to make sure that it will go down on its own… but if it doesn't…"

Thor was right, Tony did need to sit down. He collapsed backwards into the couch, scooping his hands through his hair in shock. "And I was being a drunk mess yesterday while Loki was—"

"It's fine," Thor cut him off. "You didn't know."

"Shit," Tony said, rubbing his eyes.

Thor shifted onto his left leg, staring down at Tony with unreadable eyes. "Do you need me to stay? I don't mind missing a few classes but I know you with your company…"

Tony shook his head. "No, no. You can go back to school. I'll take care of Loks." Even to his own ears his words sounded hollow. He was too numb, too shocked.

"Are you sure?" Thor looked unsure.

"Yes, I've got it. I'll take care of Loki, I promise." Tony just hoped he was enough to protect Loki this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I suck at updating lately! I plan on updating my other Tony/Loki story, To Kill An Angel, this weekend, so look forward to that!


	4. More Surprises

Loki woke with the feeling that someone was watching him. Groaning, Loki tucked his head underneath the covers, wondering distantly why he had such a headache this morning. It wasn't until Sprinkles started meowing and nibbling at his ear that Loki felt the memories of the last few days came floating back into his mind. He groaned again.

"Glad to know you're excited to see me," Tony's voice came from above.

Loki cracked an eye open at him. So that's who had been staring. "Stark, do you mind leaving me alone?"

"Grumpy as ever," Tony laughed. He came to sit at the edge of the bed, just close enough where he could stroke Loki's hair. "How are you feeling?"

An angry breath puffed out of Loki's lips and he hid his face further into the comforter. "Thor told you, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Tony said. His voice was laced with a spectrum of emotions that tugged at Loki's heart strings. It made him feel entirely too vulnerable.

Abruptly, Loki threw off the covers, startling Tony's fingers away from his face, and he stood, stretching widely. "I have to get to work."

When he turned to Tony, he was met with a glare. "Loki, don't you think you should stay home?"

"No," Loki snapped defensively. The pounding behind his eyes was becoming irritable. "I'm going to work." He quickly brushed past Tony and slipped into the bathroom across the hall. Locking the door behind him, Loki paused before slowly lifting the toilet seat and firmly pressed himself down to vomit stomach acid into the empty bowl.

Over his heaving, Loki heard Tony practically attack the door. "Loki?" Tony called worriedly, shaking and pounding at the door. "Are you okay? Loks!"

Loki wiped at his mouth, annoyed. "I'm fine!" he rasped. But really, he felt anything but. The urge to vomit was receding and the headache wasn't as searing, but he felt pretty bad. Finally, he sighed, stood up on shaky legs and unlocked the door.

Tony vaulted into the room, grabbing Loki just as he swayed to his right. "Loks, holy crap, are you okay?"

Dropping his head onto Tony's shoulder, he sighed heavily. "I'm not… terrible," he said softly. "I… I should probably stay home."

"Okay," Tony said, patting him lightly on the shoulder. "Okay, let me call your boss. I'll call in for you."

Loki nodded into Tony's neck. "But first can you help me shower? Please? I stink." Loki waited for an answer but looked up when Tony's silence continued. He was smiling like a weirdo. "Don't be gross, Tony." He wagged his finger at his boyfriend. "No taking advantage of me while I'm sick, okay?"

"No promises," Tony grinned.

Loki whacked him across the arm but smiled. And surprisingly, he found that his headache had let up a bit.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later, after a bit of cleaning up and a bit of making out, Loki laid on the couch contentedly while Tony sat at the other end with Loki's feet in his lap. They were watching some reality show that was really crappy but Loki really didn't care. His head was feeling pretty good right now. "So how was New York?" he asked, suddenly remembering where Tony had been all weekend.

"Eh," Tony shrugged like it was nothing.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "That's all?"

"Well…"

"Well?"

"Okay, so my dad wants me to start training to take over the company right away. Actually he wanted me to start sometime this week but… you know…"

Loki sat up, looking at him seriously. "You know you can just go and work with him. I'll be fine here."

Tony shook his head, his eyes hard. "No, I have to at least be here for your appointment on Friday. I need to know what's happening with you." He glanced at Loki. "Don't give me that look. I need to know you're okay."

Loki didn't even know that he was making a face. He just knew that he was thinking too many things at once. He was grateful to Tony for staying for him; he was uneasy that Tony was missing a great opportunity; he was angry that Howard had picked the exact worst time to finally accept Tony into the company. There was a storm of emotions on top of that, too.

Biting his lip, Loki slowly lowered himself back down on to the couch. "Tomorrow I'm going to work," Loki announced when his head was firmly planted against the armrest. He had to. He needed things to go back to normal so that he could stop burdening Tony continuously. It was repeating like a vow in his head; he needed things to be okay.

Tony sighed from his side of the couch. "Okay, we'll see," he said.

Loki blew out a frustrated breath and just squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to sleep. Eventually, he did.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The next day found Loki vomiting heavily into the toilet _again_. He, of course, couldn't go to work. Tony, being a jerk, was telling him how he had _told_ him this would happen; and Tony, also being a saint, held back Loki's hair back, with one hand while calling Loki's boss from the phone in the other. Loki's boss was an old lady and he was sure she could manage the book shop for a few more days, but she wasn't that nimble. She wasn't able to climb the ladder to get to the higher stacked books. It certainly made Loki feel like shit.

After the vomiting, Loki felt slightly better. His stomach was churning a bit, but at least the cutting headache was absent.

The rest of the day was spent sipping Tony's signature hot chocolate while watching the snowflakes fall. The snow was really coming down these days.

Wednesday was a better day for Loki. His mind was clear, despite a bit of memory loss in the morning, and there was no sick feeling thereafter. He spent the day serving hot chocolate to Tony between kisses.

Thursday it was back to bad. He spent the whole day in bed moaning and on the verge of tears. The headache was back and it was raging. Not bad enough to allow Tony to take him to the hospital, but it was bad enough. Through it all, Tony laid by his side, watching him with those worried eyes. That look always made Loki want to strangle himself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

On Friday, Loki woke with a yawn and stretched his limbs gently. He allowed his body to go limp afterwards as he gaged his pain today. Surprisingly, it was very little. And after the amount of pain he had felt yesterday, it almost felt like a dream.

He rolled over slowly, turning to Tony's side of the bed. Luckily, Tony was sleeping soundly with Sprinkles splayed over the top of Tony's forehead. Sprinkles, on the other hand, was watching Loki intently.

Loki raised a finger to his lips as if to signal the cat to stay quiet and then silently slipped from the bed, heading downstairs to cook up a surprise for Tony. A delicious breakfast would be a great way to start the morning before Loki had to go back to the hospital for his next check-up.

Honestly it was also a great distraction for Loki's mind. He didn't want to think about what kind of results could be waiting him after his next appointment. Did the swelling go down? Or was he going to be burdened with yet another thing wrong with him?

He became so focused in his work that he didn't even notice Tony in the kitchen until he wrapped his arms around Loki, pulling him away from the bacon and into a warm, snuggly hug. "Good morning!" Tony chirped. The greeting was a little too chipper for Loki's mood but he smiled at Tony nonetheless.

"Want some bacon?"

"How can I say no to bacon?" Tony grinned. He turned away to grab some plates out of the cupboard and began to set the table, all the while whistling.

Loki watched his back, suspicious. A feeling told him that Tony was using cheerfulness as a defense mechanism. He began to wonder if Tony had the same uneasy feeling Loki had fluttering in his chest.

He turned back to his cooking, ignoring the feeling. "Eggs over easy?"

"Scrambled!" Tony exclaimed. "I'm feeling feisty today."

Loki gave him a wry smile and poured the eggs into the pan. He couldn't shake the feeling. He just couldn't.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Their doctor smiled at him and Loki squirmed under his gaze. He was in a backless gown for God's sake! Way to make a guy feel uncomfortable, doc.

"You ready Loki?" the doctor asked. His voice was soft and reassuring, but yet Loki's strange feeling wasn't going away.

Loki glanced at Tony, searching his overly cheery eyes for any sense of doubt there. But no, Tony was either sincerely optimistic or he was very good at tricking Loki. He looked absolutely sure of this whole situation. Tony nodded at him.

Sighing, Loki turned back to the doctor. "Let's get this over with."

It was another MRI and Loki wondered how much this one would cost him. Tony had already taken the liberty of taking the bills before Loki had a chance of looking at it, and paying for them immediately. He still wouldn't tell Loki how much each procedure cost.

Loki laid back on the little surface and glanced at Tony one last time. Tony smiled so widely at him. "I love you," Tony whispered to him, pressing Loki's hand to his lips tentatively before stepping away. The doctor ushered him out beyond the door and then came back.

"Feeling okay?" he asked before starting anything.

Nodding, Loki sighed, "I'm fine. Let's just go."

So you aren't allowed to sleep while getting an MRI, but Loki once again wished that he could. As he laid in the tiny little hole, feeling a bit claustrophobic, he let his mind wander to all of the horrible things that could happen. The scenario that scared him the most was that as soon as he came out of this stupid machine that the doctor would tell him they would need to operate right away.

To stop himself from thinking too much about that, Loki began to think about things that were happy in his life. He thought mostly of Tony but he also thought about Sprinkles and Thor and his friends back east. He also thought of his biological parents. With that thought he made a mental note to go visit them again. He had been meaning to anyway…

Too soon the MRI was over and Loki braced himself as he was slowly pulled back from the machine. He was expecting far too much, apparently, because the doctor only looked at him blankly and said, "Okay, you can get dressed. It will be just a bit before the radiologist speaks with you about the results."

Okay, so it must have not been that bad, right?

Loki threw on his comfy clothes and joined Tony outside to go wait in a separate room. "He didn't even look concerned," Loki told him as they settled into seats across from each other. The room was empty of the other people to Loki's relief.

Tony leaned back in his chair, a triumphant grin on his face. "See? What did I tell you?" Everything is fine."

Loki's lips quirked a smile. "I guess you're right." Just as he finished his sentence, Tony's phone went off.

Taking it out, Tony glanced without interest at the screen. He silenced and pocketed the phone again. "Just the secretary."

"What do you think she wanted?"

Tony shrugged. "Hell if I know. I already let everyone know that I would be out for the whole week."

"Are you sure it's not important?"

"Nah," Tony said, waving Loki off. "If it was really important, Howard or Obadiah will call me."

Satisfied, Loki nodded. "What will you do if the doctor says I'm dying?"

"Kill him," Tony said automatically. "And then we will get a doctor that says what we want to hear." He looked very seriously about it, too.

"And if he says I have a clean bill of health?"

"I will kiss him so hard that I—." He was immediately cut off by his phone ringing a second time.

Loki leaned forward as Tony pulled out the phone again. This time it was an unknown number. "Hmm," Tony huffed. "What does everyone want today?" He stopped the call but did not pocket the phone. Instead, he set it onto the chair beside him, frowning at it strangely.

Not many people knew Tony's phone number, with him being a celebrity and whatnot, and it wasn't often that he got weird phone calls. His number was unlisted…

There was a knock at the door and the both of them looked up to see the doctor standing in the door flanked by a shorter, balding man. "Are you boys ready?"

Loki stood, unable to sit with all of his nerves buzzing. "What's the verdict?"

The doctor smiled and gestured to his colleague. "Our fine radiologist has analyzed the test and I have—"

"Crap!" Tony interrupted abruptly as his phone shrilled out another loud ringtone. He grabbed it and stood so he was beside Loki, staring at his phone. This time, he didn't silence it. He didn't even look at anyone, just said, "I have to take this. Start without me." He left the room right after that.

Loki watched him leave helplessly. The confidence that Tony had given him just a moment ago left him an instant and it suddenly felt like he was staring down the barrel of a gun. That funny feeling was back, too.

The doctor glanced warily at Loki. "Did you want us to wait?"

He shook his head. "No, no. It's fine. He'll be back in a moment."

The radiologist pulled out some notes from his folder and grinned at Loki. "Well, it's good news anyway."

Loki's heart skipped a beat. "You're serious?"

The doctor nodded. "The swelling is down significantly. I expect to see you back to regular function in a few days. We do want to check up with you again in the future just to be sure."

It was like a breath of fresh air. Loki was floating, _flying_ , with the high that overtook him. "Now if I can just get my memory back to where it used to be, I can finally be normal again." Even as he said the words, Loki felt another flood of happiness. The amounts of memory loss he had experience this week had been minimal. Wow, who knew that blood clots could be a good thing?

The radiologist started to explain some more with some fancy medical terms and Loki stopped listening. He was too absorbed in his elated mood that he missed almost all of the little details. And, more than anything, he wanted to break the news to Tony.

The two guys had finally finished babbling and Loki snapped back into the present. "So I'm all good?"

"From what we're seeing here, you should be perfectly fine."

Loki beamed. "Good. Can I leave now?"

They nodded in unison and Loki practically bolted out into the hall. He spotted Tony immediately. He was facing towards the wall and away from Loki. "I'm cured!" Loki cried enthusiastically.

He expected Tony to get excited, to make some kind of reaction, but he was still standing there frozen. Loki faltered in his victory and instead stepped around Tony to get a good look at him. Tony's eyes were bright with unshed tears and his phone was clutched in his white-knuckled hands. The uneasy feeling was back.

"That was Obadiah," Tony said, void of any emotion. His eyes finally snapped up to meet Loki's gaze. The pain there was enormous. "My dad's dead."


	5. Shattered

Loki didn't know what to do, what to say or anything in the face of Tony's family death. It was so surreal to know that the man who had _saved_ him, who had carried him out of his abusive family home to safety, was dead. How can that even be real?

The next few days were a blur and Loki felt like he was taking a back seat to it all, pushed aside like he didn't matter at all. Loki kept quiet though. How could he be so insensitive or whiny during a time so important in Tony's life?

It all started with the explanation. Standing there in the hallway with Tony at the hospital, Loki gaped at him. "What?"

"He's dead," Tony repeated, deflating. "A car accident. He's dead."

It just didn't make sense! Howard was fine just a few days ago, his driver was highly skilled, and it was really hard to get into an accident in New York City when you're only driving 20 miles an hour at all times. How could Howard just be _dead?_

Tony was looking at Loki expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but Loki felt like he was caught like a dear in headlights. He's never had to comfort someone before, especially in the face of death. God, what did people say?

"Tony," Loki started hesitantly. He opened his arms wide, wanting to pull Tony to him. "I'm so sorry."

But he just was looking at Loki blankly, like he didn't even realize that Loki was there. He looked like almost like an empty body, cold and dead. It scared Loki to the point that he immediately forced his hug onto Tony, just so he could feel his lover's warmth against his skin.

Tony allowed the hug but barely responded. In fact, when Loki moved away, Tony was already moving to look at his phone. "We need to go home. I have to figure some things out."

And that was that.

There was no other mention of Loki's condition, but that wasn't really what wasn't what bothered Loki. It was the fact that later, at home, Tony didn't bother to include Loki in the funeral plans or help in any other way.

Loki stood behind Tony with Sprinkles nestled in his hands, watching his boyfriend worriedly. Tony was on the phone and scribbling frantically on a stack of papers. The cup of coffee Loki had made for him was standing untouched on the counter. It was probably already cold.

Waiting patiently, Loki stroked Sprinkles absently. Tony was clearly distressed but he wouldn't let Loki in. He'd slept on the couch the last three nights, claiming that he had a lot of things to care of. That was probably true, considering the stacks of papers Loki always found Tony burrowed in, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Tony continued to talk and it didn't look like it would end any time soon, so Loki squatted to the floor and released Sprinkles. Sprinkles didn't sprint off though, he kept close to Loki's legs as he moved around the counter, into Tony's view. He snaked a hand carefully into Tony's space and took away the coffee mug and quietly poured the coffee out into the sink.

"No, no… Yeah I've got it," Tony was saying into his cell, still shuffling through those pages.

Loki paid no mind and started to wash the dishes, going as quietly as he could. Tony continued, "Yeah, that's right. Loki and I will be there… We've got tickets already. Tomorrow."

Pausing in his cleaning, Loki glanced over at Tony questioningly. They were doing what? Tony wasn't looking at him though, so Loki turned back to his dishes.

A few minutes passed and Tony finally hung up. For once, he addressed Loki, "Are you going to get packed tonight?"

Loki switched off the water, turning back to his boyfriend with eyebrows furrowed. "To go where?"

Tony looked at him incredulously, like he was stupid. That expression stung. "Howard's funeral," he said like it was obvious.

Loki had figured that that was coming up, but he didn't remember Tony even mentioning it in the last few days. "Oh…"

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"No, not the funeral," Loki defended himself right away, drying his hands on a towel. "I just don't think you told me when it's going to be or… where…" Tony was still staring at him but he just kind of looked blank, like he had wandered off into his clouded thoughts again, leaving Loki behind. Immediately Loki tried to get his attention again, "You know my stupid brain, always making me forget everything." He tapped his head with his knuckles.

Tony nodded, looking back at his papers. "Yeah." That's all he said. God, Tony had barely said anything over the last few days. Loki could almost feel Tony drifting away from him and it was a sensation that burned in his chest, leaving him breathless.

Loki immediately crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Tony, holding him dearly. "I love you, Tony," he whispered. It was the only thing he could think of telling Tony. He didn't really have the words to help with this strange grief, but he did hope that they would get through to him.

For a moment, Tony turned to look at Loki with sharp clarity in his eyes, like he was finally realizing that Loki was really there. "I love you, too, Loks," he breathed out strangely in a tone that sounded almost surprised. Maybe Tony had forgotten.

Quickly, feeling a little awkward, Loki pressed a kiss to Tony's forehead and slipped away. Maybe he should just leave Tony to his work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So it turned out that the tickets were plane tickets and it also turned out that the funeral was being held that Friday in a little cemetery in a little town on the edge of New York City. Apparently this little town was a place Howard liked to enjoy his quieter days. Loki wasn't sure if that was even right. Wasn't this a man that liked the loud bustling of cities and the progressive movement of innovation? It didn't seem likely for Howard to go to a little town like this to just… sit. But who was Loki to argue?

Loki was walking slowly across the snowy soft earth, breathing in the muted earthy scent of a fresh turned grave. He walked behind the procession, keeping his eyes on Tony who was holding one end of the coffin.

He felt disconnected from it all, and for a moment Loki stopped and allowed the crowds to surge around him, cutting him off from Tony. It was weird, how many people had shown up for the funeral, but it was even stranger how many of them seemed to get more attention and words from Tony than Loki had gotten from him in a week.

Immediately at this thought, Loki cursed himself for being so selfish. Because that's what he was being! Selfish. _Oh boohoo, poor me. My boyfriend won't pay attention to me when his father is **dead** and he has a whole damn company to take over._

Disgusted with himself, Loki breathed in sharply and continued to crunch his way through the snow, determined to be by Tony's side. After all the pain Tony had gone through in the last years, through all of the things Loki had put him through, couldn't Loki just put up with Tony's lack of attention for the time being? God! He was such an idiot!

Loki came to a stop close to the front of the crowd and he was grateful when Tony came to stand beside him. He really tempted to grab onto Tony's hand but Tony was focused steadily on the coffin in front of him.

Throughout the service, Loki found himself tuning out. What he kept going back to was how Howard had died. From the whispering of the crowd before the procession, Loki had finally found out what had happened. Howard had been on the way to visit one of their warehouses in upstate New York, when they were hit by a drunk driver; it was as simple as that. What a horrible and meaningless way to die.

"Loki," Tony whispered, jolting Loki from his thoughts. "Loks, let's go."

Blinking, Loki glanced at the front where someone was still talking mournfully about Howard's childhood. "Tony, the service is still…"

"Please?" Tony was looking at him pleadingly and he linked his fingers into Loki's. "Let's go."

Glancing back nervously one more, Loki nodded. Tony turned and pulled Loki behind him, through the crowd. The whole way through, Loki kept his head down, feeling the judging eyes on him. It felt… awful.

They clambered into Tony's limo and Loki had barely gotten inside when Tony instructed the driver, "Just go. Anywhere."

Loki closed the door and they were already moving, driving out of the cemetery and onto the empty quiet roads. He didn't even have time to buckle because Tony leaned over him and smashed a kiss onto Loki's unprepared lips, lifting himself roughly up and over Loki, slamming him violently into the seat. Loki choked with the lack of air.

Immediately, Loki pushed Tony away, gasping. "Tony!" he breathed heavily, staring up at him. A panicky fear was fluttering in his throat. "W-What was that?"

Tony was leaning over him, breathing just as hard, his hot breath breezing against Loki's neck. Sighing heavily, Tony closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Loki's. "I'm sorry, Loks. I'm…" he trailed off, breathing in a shuddering breath.

The fluttering escaped Loki's throat and his heart slowed. "Tony, it's okay."

"No, no it's not."

"Tony—"

"It's not." Tony didn't cry, not then. But they did stay that way, with Tony half in Loki's lap and Loki pressed uncomfortably into the seat. But neither dared to move long after, because everything… it was all so fragile.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"You'll be okay?"

"I'll have Thor," Loki replied quietly.

Tony shifted uncomfortably, rubbing his left arm. "I promise I will come back soon."

"Tony, I understand, really."

"You sure?" Tony asked, taking a step forward, about to reach out to Loki but he pulled back. "You're okay with this?"

Loki nodded rapidly, his throat closing up, so he couldn't speak. Tony was staying behind in New York to take care of things here and Loki was going back so he could continue his treatment and to hold up the fort. Yeah, this wasn't Loki's idea.

Finally, Tony stepped forward and pressed a hand against Loki's cheek, his face grim. "Loks, never doubt that I love you."

He managed an uncomfortable smile. "Don't be so cheesy. I know, Tony, okay? I know," his voice was erring on the side of agitation.

Tony smiled back sadly. "I'll call you. I'll come back soon."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Without anything else to say, Loki pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek and stepped back. Loki turned to airport security, sighing, and looked back one last time. Tony's eyes were already fading into that dead look from before, the one where he barely spoke to Loki. Loki couldn't look at it anymore. He left. He just had to hope that even though things had plummeted so fast, that they would get better just as fast. Because what else did he have but Tony?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back from South Korea and I'm going to not suck at updating regularly. Thanks for reading!


	6. Snowy Day

What Loki hadn't told Tony was that Thor wasn't actually going to be staying with him while Tony was away. And what he hadn't told Thor was that he was going to be home and not in New York with Tony. To put it simply, Loki was sick and tired of making people worry about him. There were so many things that both Tony and Thor should be concerned with than Loki.

The first few days of being back home but alone weren't that bad. Loki wrote in his journal regularly to keep track of everything, so he wouldn't forget. He went to see his therapist again. She had looked at him sharply when he showed up, scolding him for staying away so long. When he explained, though, what had been going on, she took his situation in stride. Their goal was to continue meeting at least once a week.

On top of all that, Loki also had his regular memory exercises… These were especially hard to do by himself, since he would forget things and there was no one to redirect him back onto the right path.

But other than that, those first few days were quiet and uneventful.

Finally, sick of sitting around the house like some sort of reclusive, Loki decided it was time to go back to work. Getting out his phone, Loki called his boss nervously. She answered and quickly agreed, telling him that he could even come in today. She hadn't been feeling well lately either, so the shop had been closed for almost as long as Loki had been gone.

That's how Loki inevitably found himself crunching across the snowy paths of the quiet town. School was open, despite the heavy flakes flurrying down from the sky, and that meant that it was a peaceful walk from Loki and Tony's house to the little corner book store several blocks to the main road. The sign outside the shop proclaimed its title "Books and More" but today it was heavily covered in a white blanket of snow. It was beautiful.

Loki used his key to unlock the front of the store and opened the door with a chime. He immediately shook the flakes out of his black hair.

"Who are you?" a voice jolted Loki from his reverie.

He turned towards the counter at the front where a girl was perched on top of the counter, legs crossed, wearing the employee green apron. Her long blonde hair cascaded over her name tag. Loki closed the door behind him, still staring. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Amora," the girl said, hopping off the counter with a wide smile and throwing out a hand to shake his with vigor.

Loki's arm was rattled side to side sporadically. "And why are you here?"

"Rude, aren't you?" she said, laughing. "I'm the old lady's granddaughter! I'm here to supervise you!"

Loki scowled instantly, snatching his arm away. "No way! I didn't even hear about you until this second. There's no way she would send you to supervise me."

"Chill," she said, hopping back onto the counter. "I'm kidding. I'm just filling in on the old lady's shifts since she's been ill. You're Loki, right?"

"Yeah," Loki said slowly. He supposed it made sense but he wish that old lady Collins had told him that he would have to work with someone who was clearly going to be annoying. "So how much do you know about running a book store?"

"Nothing!" she replied brightly, kicking her feet. "But it's not like anyone comes in here, right? I think we will be fine."

"No, we will not," Loki snapped, trudging past her. He hung his heavy jacket on his usual peg and turned back to her with a scowl. "Look, we have lots of customers during the day but obviously not right now, because you haven't even flipped the sign to open. Secondly, the shop isn't usually that busy until school lets out. That's when the kids come by after school and then around five is when people start getting off work."

Amora was looking down her nails, still kicking her feet.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Her head snapped up and she deflected with a guilty smile. "Sorry, I tend to tune out things."

Loki's face heated with rage, but instead of yelling at the stupid girl, he took a deep breath and turned to a stack of books behind the counter. He took the nearest box and heaved it up next to her. "Here, go stick these on the shelves."

She hopped down and grabbed the box. "Just anywhere?"

He slapped a hand to his head, growing in frustration. "No, not just anywhere! Do you not know anything?"

Amora smiled back, again guiltily.

"Fine, I'll show you. Follow me, you useless human being."

"Aye aye, master!" she said with a salute.

Loki scoffed disgustedly and led the idiot to the back of the store. He would have to teach the girl a thing or two about work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony was looking frantically through his paperwork, looking for a particular document, one that he was supposed to present to Obadiah later that day. "Jarvis!" he barked, his voice higher than normal.

"Yes, sir?" Jarvis's voice floated up from Tony's computer. Tony had finally gotten around to installing Jarvis into the system just two days ago.

"Have you seen that stupid page with the plans for-?"

"You gave it to Mr. Stane at this morning's meeting, sir," the A.I. quickly replied.

Tony groaned, face planting into his paperwork in frustration. His heart was fluttering with discomfort. Ever since his father had died things just didn't feel right to him. There were days where Tony couldn't even move in his despair and there were days like today where he was so frantic that he couldn't think clearly. How could he be an asset to the company at this rate? How will he live up to his father's expectations at this rate?

"Perhaps you should rest, sir," Jarvis spoke up again. "Your sleep levels have been quite low as of late."

Tony frowned, ignored the AI and said, "Get Loki on the phone." It had actually been a few days since he'd talked to Loks and the guilt was eating at him. However, Loki was just as guilty as him. He hadn't made an effort to reach out either…

"Calling Loki now," Jarvis said and the room was filled the sound of ringing.

The phone picked up immediately. "Tony?" Loki's voice sent a jolt to Tony's chest. "This is probably not the best time for us to talk." His words were rushed and loud. "Are you kidding me, Amora?" Loki suddenly shouted away from the phone.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, curiosity hitting him for the first time since Howard had died.

"This new girl at the book shop is nothing BUT A FAILURE!" Loki's voice rose to shout at the girl.

Tony let out a heavy breath, wanting to be able to laugh at this silly situation that Loki had gotten himself into, but he felt too empty yet to do that. "Maybe I should let you go, Loks. It sounds like you're busy."

"What? No! I can talk. AMORA, WOULD YOU PLEASE!"

Yeah, Loki had his hands full there. Maybe it was a bad idea to call. "I'll call you later, Loks," Tony said forcefully. The empty feeling was descending over him again, eating away at his mood. He desperately needed a glass of scotch.

"Tony, wait, I—"

Too late. Tony had hung up on Loki without even thinking of Loki's feelings. Instead he stood and crossed the room with swift purpose. Only alcohol was on his mind now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki held his phone to his chest, which was full of stabbing pain as if his heart had been ripped out. Well, it had, kind of. Tony had hung up on him. Loki even tried to call him back but his boyfriend ignored his call, only allowing it to ring once before sending it to voicemail.

"Excuse me," a woman interrupted Loki's wallowing. Loki snapped to attention to the lady who was now standing in front of the counter, looking at him expectantly. "Can you help me find a book for my daughter?"

Loki glanced around the room, looking for Amora, who had just been standing at the front sorting books in the wrong order. In fact, the books by the front counter will still far out of order.

He wanted to sigh, but he instead grinned at the woman. "Of course! What are we looking for?"

They soon found the vampire book for the customer's daughter and Loki checked her out quickly, still not seeing Amora anywhere. Seriously, where did she go? As soon as the customer was out of the door and the shop was plunged back into the soft sounds of background music, Loki immediately hollered, "Amora!"

She poked her head around the corner of the end row of books. "Yes?" she asked brightly.

Loki frowned. "Don't look at me like there's nothing wrong. You disappeared on purpose!"

For once, the girl's grin faded and suddenly Loki felt a bit… bad for the girl. "I guess I'm just not a people person."

The door chimed again and Loki glanced over to find two teenagers walking in. Loki gave them a welcoming nod and then turned back to his co-worker, who had presently disappeared. He sighed again.

It wasn't until the store was empty of people and it was silent again when Amora finally came back out of hiding. Loki crossed his arms and glared. "So you can't talk to people, you can't sort books… What are you useful for?"

She shifted nervously, scratching at her arms. Her bright blue eyes again looked troubled. "Look, I got my issues. It's something we will both have to work around, okay?"

"Are you afraid of people?" Loki asked a little quieter. The thought was dawning on him that maybe this girl had actual social issues.

She sent him an angry glare. "Don't ask me about my issues if you aren't going to talk about yours."

"Mine?"

"Yeah, it's obvious," she said, approaching slowly, looking him directly in the eyes. "You just have that vibe, okay?"

Loki grimaced. Great, did he really look like the forgetful person he was? That was definitely not a good sign.

She continued, "Look, can we just close up for the day?" Her face brightened as if she just remembered something. "I want to take you somewhere. It's my favorite place."

Loki let his arms drop to his sides, considering. The time was barely 3 PM and they were technically supposed to be open until 8. "I don't know…"

"Come on!" she begged. "This will take your mind off of Tony Stark!"

"How did you—"

"You're famous," she said, tapping him on the head. "I know a lot about you and Tony."

"I'm not famous," Loki mumbled, looking away.

She clicked her tongue at him. "You are clearly unaware. You were in all of the magazines when Tony Stark's father died." Loki looked out the window at the falling snow at her words, suddenly not wanting to listen. She stepped into his view with a calculating expression. "I see that I hit a sore spot. Let me make it up to you?"

Loki eyed her warily. "And how will you manage that?"

"By ditching work and taking you to a new place."

"In this town?" Loki asked. "I doubt it."

She grinned. "I guarantee it."

And with that, Loki was too curious to not say no.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They had to walk, it turned out, because neither of them could drive. Amora didn't have a license and Loki couldn't with his memory issue. He'd explained his issue away by saying he didn't have a license either, even though it was nestled safely in his wallet.

They had to walk a long time through heavy snow drifts and falling flakes to get to Amora's "secret spot" across town. She was wrong, of course. Loki recognized the place as soon as they arrived even though he hadn't been there in a while. It was the park near Steve's parents' house where he used to hang out after fights with his parents. That was back in high school, only a few years ago, but it felt like an eternity now.

"See, I knew that you would like it!" Amora shouted, her voice muffled by the snow.

Loki shook his head at her, not bothering to tell her it was a place everyone knew about. Instead he asked her, "Aren't you cold?"

She still had the green apron on from the shop and the t-shirt underneath. She wasn't wearing a heavy jacket like Loki but she looked comfortable regardless. "Stop asking me!" she said, turning away and trotting down the path into the park. "Last one to the slide, is a loser!"

Loki let her race ahead and instead basked in his memories that came rushing back. The memories of being misunderstood but also memories of quiet solitude. They were mixed with both good and bad emotions.

"Ha! You are a loser!" Amora told him when he finally arrived to the slide. She was perched on top of it, in the snow, grinning down at him slyly.

"You are such a child," he said fondly, realizing for the first time that he liked the girl a bit.

"Said the guy who has a stick up his butt."

"I have no such thing!"

She rolled her eyes, about to say something but she was interrupted by Loki's phone, ringing with Tony's ACDC tone. Loki pulled it out eagerly to see Tony's name flashing in the caller ID. Before he could answer, though, Amora shot down the slide and slammed a hand over Loki's. "Don't answer it."

"What? Why?" Who was this girl to tell him what to do with his boyfriend?

"He ignored your call. Why not give him a taste of his own medicine this time?"

Loki looked at her closely. For some reason, Loki couldn't see anything but the convincing serious look on her face. He felt himself being swayed.

"Believe me," she told him, "I know what is best."

Loki scoffed at her, taking his hands away from hers, but he didn't answer the phone. He pocketed it instead.

"Absence makes the heart fonder," she told him, walking back to the slide.

"Hmm," Loki hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

Suddenly there was screeching of children and Loki took a moment to look at the group of five middle-schoolers as they stumbled into the snowy park. He breathed in a crisp winter breath and turned to look at his companion.

She was gone.

Whoa, where did she go? Was she that afraid of children?

"Amora?" he called. The children paid him no mind as he stared around, confused. "Amora?"

His phone chimed. He took it out and looked at it in surprise. There was a message from Amora.

_Leaving due to children. See you later! ~ Amora_

Loki frowned and typed back: _**How did you get my number?**_

A message from her came back quickly: _You gave it to me earlier. Don't you remember?_

He didn't. He definitely did not remember that, but how could he know? He was forgetting things all the time. He could have surely forgotten that too.

A second message came in: _And don't forget to ignore Tony Stark. It will make things better._

He ignored her and turned off his phone.


	7. Losing Control

Loki liked Amora a lot. His initial annoyance was lost as soon as he realized how similar she was to his favorite two people. She had looks similar to Thor's tall blond figure and the goofy personality to match while still maintaining the intelligence and wit of Tony. It was honestly the best combination.

He snorted with laughter after another of her impressions of one of their customers that had come in earlier that day. The lady had given Loki absolute hell about a book out of stock, plunging him into the sourest of moods, but Amora had pulled him easily out of his funk. Seriously, she was the best.

"You—You have to do that again!" Loki gasped from the unending laughter.

He clutched at his sides as she again straightened into a poised and ignorant stance, crossing her arms. "I cannot believe," she droned in a nasally tone, sticking her nose into the air, "that you don't have it. What kind of worthless—"

Loki couldn't take it anymore, snorting again, slapping the counter, and effectively spurring her into her own fit of laughter. As she did, she came back to sit by him behind the counter of the store, leaning on one elbow, angled towards him.

Once the fit had subsided, Loki grinned and pushed their pizza a bit closer to her. Three pieces were gone from the box. "Eat some more of this. I swear I've been the only one eating it."

She held her hands up in defense. "Hey, you are the one who wanted to order it and I told you not to get the large!"

Loki rolled his eyes at her and grabbed himself another piece, despite being pretty much full.

"So how is that therapy going?" she asked, turning the subject more serious.

Loki chewed thoughtfully. Yesterday was Loki's second session since Tony's been away, meaning that Tony has been gone for close to two weeks. It also meant that the biting loneliness was growing, even though he was feeling a bit better with Amora here. He swallowed and said, "I don't know if it's helping. I just tell her about my feelings and what is happening or what has happened." A flash of Odin emerged in Loki's mind. He put down his half-eaten slice of pizza, sobering. "We just talk about the same old things."

She was looking at him oddly. "Like what?"

Shrugging, Loki looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," she said brightly, taking a pizza slice from the box. "New subject. How's Tony?" She took a big bite.

"He's alright, I guess. I've barely talked to him." It was true. Besides a few missed calls on Loki's phone, he and Tony had only exchanged a few texts in the last week. He supposed that Tony had to be really busy…

"Serves him right," she said, slamming down her pizza. "Once he comes to his senses, he will be groveling at your feet. He's just going to be a dick to you until he figures it out, I'm sure."

"You really have a vendetta against my boyfriend," Loki said, half-jokingly. He honestly, though, couldn't understand why she was so against Tony. "He's just busy."

"I had someone like that," she said, leaning in as if telling a secret. Her blonde hair wisped over her face delicately. "My ex. I used to love him like you love Tony. He was sweet when he wanted to be but other times he would ignore me, maybe smack me around a bit." Her eyes widened when she noticed the shocked, open-mouthed look on his face. "No big deal. I dumped him fast but that was after I gave him a piece of his own medicine." She swung a fist in the air. "POW!"

"Wow," Loki breathed, once again thinking of Odin. He kind of wished he gotten one last final word in with his father or maybe a good punch.

"You could do that with your dad," she said, interrupting his thoughts.

He didn't remember telling her about his father, but he was sure she had seen it on the news. "Yeah? What do you mean?"

"Visit him in that jail of his and give him a piece of your mind."

"No," Loki said, furiously shaking his head. "I'm not doing that." The thought intrigued him, though.

"Okay, okay," she said, dismissing him with a wave. "Just a suggestion." She went back to eating her slice.

Without replying, Loki returning to his own pizza. His mind was racing. Did Loki ever get in a final word to Odin? He couldn't remember… Stupid memory! Looks like he was going to have to search his journals to see if there was any evidence of anything like that. It would be really nice just to tell Odin one last time what a terrible human being he was… Hmm…

Loki looked back down at the pizza after a moment, contemplating, and then looked at Amora. She was licking the grease off her fingers. She'd eaten the pizza so fast for a girl who seemed to never eat anything!

"So…" he began, gaining her instant attention. "Would you come with me if I did this kind of thing?"

She grinned widely. "That's the spirit!" Leaning behind her, she grabbed a pad of paper and slid it across the counter to him. "Let's write down what you will say."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony was tapping his pen rapidly along the stack of paperwork, staring wordlessly at the single report in front of him. The page detailed Howard's crash and even included pictures of the wreck. It was absolutely gruesome, but Tony couldn't look away. It just seemed… off.

A second more and Tony again looked at his cell phone. Wasn't Pepper supposed to call him soon? He tapped the pen faster.

"Tony!" Pepper yelled from behind. Tony jumped, smacking his knee painfully against the desk.

"Holy shit, woman! Warn a guy, would ya?" He cast a sour glance in her direction, rubbing at the offended knee cap. "We got some serious business to attend to."

She rolled her eyes and crossed in front of him. The outfit she was wearing was purely professional: a blue tailored dress suit, clean and pressed. In her hand she held a binder. "Do I look the part?" she asked, doing a spin in front of him.

"The picture of perfection," Tony said blithely, glancing back down at his papers.

She scoffed. "I hope you don't compliment Loki that way. He'll be sure to leave you if you don't do it properly."

Tony stiffened.

"You haven't talked to him, have you?"

"He hasn't talked to me." He clasped his hands together and looked up at her, noting how she radiated in such a drab room. "He didn't answer my calls, and when we do talk, he just keeps talking about this Amora girl!"

"Don't pout, Tony," she laughed at him. "You almost sound jealous, even insecure. That's definitely not like you."

"Well she's all Loki talks about."

"Come on, she's all he has back home. You probably only talk about your work when you talk to him," Pepper tried to reason with him. She crossed the room. "But I'm not here to be your therapist. You called me from school because you said you had a job for me to do, so it better be good."

Tony blinked away thoughts of Loki and slid the report of his father's crash across for her to see. "This is a folder I made up with everything to do with my father's death. I need you to look through this and tell me if there is something I missed."

She picked up the folder, setting it on top of her binder to get a better look at it. "Tony, this is what you called me here for?"

Tony grit his teeth, growing impatient. "Really I need you to be my second in command and I will pay you, of course, but I also need you to do this for me as the first order of business. There is something fishy going on with my father's death and I want to know what it is. I just can't figure it out. I hired a private investigation—"

"You think," Pepper cut off his rambling rant, "that your father's death wasn't just an accident?"

Tony rested his chin on his clasped hands and looked at her darkly. "No, I don't."

Pepper snapped the folder shut and slid it into the binder, glancing at the large double doors, as if looking for witnesses. "What do you think happened?" she whispered, leaning in.

"I don't know," Tony said at normal volume. "But it just doesn't add up. The guy they arrested, the drunk driver, swore up and down at the trial that he didn't do it…" He frowned to himself, thinking back.

"Not to play devil's advocate, but he could have just been trying to get out of the charges." She sat down at the chair across from him, crossing her legs elegantly.

"It wasn't just that, though." Tony finally leaned in, lowering his voice. "I think my father was moved. He always sat on the left side of the limo, as long as I have known him. So that just leaves the question: Why was he on the right?"

Pepper looked skeptical and a little worried. "I don't know if those few things will change the outcome of the crash, Tony. It could all really just be a coincidence."

"It also could be correlated. Listen, can you just do this for me? If I have a second pair of eyes look at this information, then I will know if I'm crazy or not."

She sighed, giving in. "Fine, okay I'll do it."

"Great," Tony said, slumping back into his chair. "Now head downstairs to set up your payroll, and while you're down there, I think Howard will have a few things for you to do too. Just keep this a secret between us, okay?"

"Why do I feel like I'm signing into a slave contract?" she moaned to herself, standing from the chair.

Tony shrugged at her, grinning. He suddenly felt giddy.

She took a few steps towards the exit but paused, looking back at him. "Just do me a favor, okay? Call Loki. Or at least Thor. You should see how they're doing."

"Thor!" Tony exclaimed, sitting up, just remembering that Loki was supposed to be looked after by Thor. But he hadn't heard a peep out of Thor since Loki went back home. "Hey, why doesn't Loki ever babble about Thor, why is it only Amora?"

Pepper pursed her lips, looking suddenly grim. "Now that's something you will have to find out, won't you?"

"Pepper, you are too good to me."

"I know." She slipped out the door.

"Jarvis," Tony commanded, turning to his computer. "Call Thor."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I shouldn't be driving," Loki said, going slowly down the snow covered street, out onto their main town road. "This could be bad with my medication."

"Well I don't know how to even drive, so this is clearly the better option." Amora was sitting with her feet up on the dashboard, just like Loki liked to do when Tony was driving.

"But it's starting to snow," Loki whined.

"It's always snowing."

"Not when I decide to drive!" His knuckles were white against the steering wheel and he was sitting straight up, tense.

She groaned, throwing her head back against the head rest. "Do you seriously want to go back? Even after we made up this brilliant plan?"

Loki wanted to say yes but he hesitated. "Do you think it will stop snowing on the way there?"

"Well I didn't exactly check the forecast before we left!" she said, exasperated. She took her feet off of the dashboard. "Loki, we can go back if you want. We just need to find a place to turn around."

Loki squinted into the flurrying flakes against the road dusted in white. This road was going to need a plow soon. Quickly, he turned on his windshield wipers and his bright headlights. "Are we even still on the road?"

"We can still see the yellow lines."

Loki shifted in his seat uncomfortably. The original rage against Odin had slowed into a small, warm ember in the pit of his stomach. "I don't know if I want to do this," he said as he drove slowly farther into the road leading out of town.

"Then don't! Let's stop and turn around!"

Loki slammed on the breaks and they skidded to a slippery stop. The car was quiet except for the soft flow of warm air from the heater and the scrape of the windshield. Everything else was dead quiet. Loki let out a deep breath, letting his face drop against the steering wheel. "I don't know if I can do this," he said again.

Amora watched him with unreadable eyes. "Do whatever you feel in your gut."

"My gut is telling me that we should watch movies in my living room and eat a whole bunch of junk food."

"Cheetos?"

Loki nodded, brushing his forehead against the cold leather of the steering wheel. "Yeah… Cheetos."

"Mac and cheese?"

Loki sat straight up and glared at her. "I hate mac and cheese!"

"I know you do," she giggled.

Loki shook his head. "You're the worst." He took his foot off the pedal and started to drive forward. "Let's find a place to turn around."

In the cup holder, Loki's phone started to go off. Concentrating on the never-ending blizzard in front of him, Loki gestured to it without turning. "Can you grab that, Amora?"

"Uh Loki, you do recall that I am afraid of people?" she said, picking up the phone anyway.

"That didn't stop you from talking to me."

"Well, you aren't a person," she laughed. "It's Thor."

"Thor?" Loki asked, whipping his head to look at her. The car swerved unsteadily and he looked right back the road, terrified. "What was that, car?" Loki yelled at his vehicle.

Amora's voice was tight. "Can we not die today? Thanks."

"Just hurry up and answer the phone!"

"You do it!" She shoved the phone at him and he took it in one hand and steered the car with the other. He slowed the car further as he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Loki? Thank God, are you okay?" Thor answered, sounding incredibly worried.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

Thor roared into the phone, "You are home by yourself! You told me you would be in New York with Tony!"

"I am." Loki said weakly. He glanced at Amora but she gestured wildly for him to keep his eyes on the road.

"You are not! Tony just called me!"

As if on cue, the phone beeped, announcing another incoming call. Loki took it away briefly from his ear to check who it was. Tony. Of course. "Okay, I'm not. But I have Amora here. Say hi Amora!" He held the phone out to her and she shook her head, glaring. He brought it back to his ear. "She's shy."

"I don't care who she is! You lied to us, Loki!"

"I'm not helpless."

"Loki, you don't even remember what you had for breakfast half the time! You cannot be by yourself."

"Smooth, Thor," Loki spat out, despite its truth. "Real subtle. Thanks for telling me that I suck as a human being."

"Loki…" Thor started.

"Loki!" Amora screamed over them.

The road seemed to disappear right in front of them. The snow was so strong and the road was covered. "Shit!" Loki cried, throwing the phone back into the cup holder as he slammed on the breaks again, sliding them across the snowy pavement with a screech.

"What was that!" Thor yelled from the cup holder. "Loki, are you driving?'

"Yes dammit, shut up!" The car was letting up but it was still sliding, not coming to a full stop, and Loki was sure that they would slide into the muddy, snow-laden corn field at any second.

Cranking the steering wheel to the left, they went into a spin. Loki and Amora cried out in unison as they were thrown to the right as the car continued spin, until they've done a full 360 onto the road. The car settled to a stop.

Loki sat in absolute shock, looking out the front of the window and then slowly into his side mirror to look at the twisted, upturned snow behind them.

"Loki? Loki?" Thor was calling from the phone.

Looking at Amora, who was as equally shell-shocked, he started to laugh. "We almost died, Amora."

She just shook her head at him, eyes still wide.

Loki was still laughing when he picked the phone back up. "I'm okay, Thor."

"I'm getting on the next plane," Thor said. "Okay? Loki, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thor, come on. I said I'm fine."

"I'll see you soon." Thor hung up.

Loki groaned, putting the phone back into the cup holder and again pressing his forehead back into the steering wheel. "Thor is coming to stay," he said miserably.

"Have fun with that!" Amora said, slapping him forcefully on the back.

"What, you aren't going to keep me company?"

She shook her head with a smile and pointed at herself. "Afraid of people, remember?"

"How do you even function?"

"I hardly do without you," she laughed.

Loki grinned, not replying, but pulled away again, this time taking careful time to turn around back the way they had come. They could go confront Odin a different day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween, everyone!


	8. Far Gone

There was a blossoming bruise on Loki's left arm where he had hit the driver's side door when they had gone into a tailspin. He had his sleeve rolled up, glaring at it through the mirror on the door, and then glanced over to Amora. "How come I have a bruise and you don't?"

She had just gotten done checking her own body for bruises and she yanked her sleeve back down. "You're more delicate." She began to pet Sprinkles who had curled up next to her, who was gawking at Loki like he was some kind of lunatic.

Loki turned back to stare at his arm some more. The dark black and blue circle gave him flashes of images from that day in the bathroom. The day he'd almost been forcefully drowned in the bathtub by his own parents. He let the sleeve fall back over the splotch, breathing in a shaky breath. "How about that movie?"

Amora nodded. "Shall I start the popcorn?"

"Yeah," Loki said, smiling at her. "I'm going to call Tony. He's probably… worried." He wasn't sure what he and Thor could have talked about but he wondered if Tony had found about Loki driving Tony's car. Well, Tony had nothing to worry about. There was not a scratch on the car, thank you very much.

Amora again nodded and stood from Loki and Tony's bed and left the room and disappeared down the hallway. Loki made sure she was well out of sight before picking his phone off of the nightstand while Sprinkles watched him closely. "What is it, Sprinkles?" Loki asked, rubbing his fingers across the top of the cat's paws. "You're worried about me?" Loki sighed, "Everyone is."

He turned away from the cat and started the call to Tony. It rang twice and Tony's voice sounded through the phone, "Loki?" His tone sounded exhausted and still a bit flat and dead, just like at the funeral.

"Hey, Tony," Loki breathed back, his heart thudding. Tony's voice was like a breath of fresh air. "Are you busy?"

"Never too busy for you. You know that, Loks," Tony whispered back. He sounded sad and distant, though, and Loki didn't know how to fix this rift that was now between them. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Thor's coming…"

"You could have told me, you know. I would have let you stay by yourself if that's what you really wanted. I just wish there was someone there to check in on you, to make sure you're okay," Tony said, his voice rising into an accusatory tenor.

"I had Amora—"

"I don't want to hear about Amora," Tony interrupted. "Who the fuck is she anyway?"

Loki frowned, going still, and clenched a fist. "She's my friend."

"She's all you talk about! She's coming between us—"

"She is not!" Loki found himself shouting. Surprised by himself, Loki quickly shut the door so that Amora would not hear the fight. He turned to face the middle of the room and hissed, "This has nothing to do with her."

Tony scoffed. "I feel like you want nothing to do with me."

"What the hell, Tony! I want everything to do with you! Stop being a goddamn asshole!"

"Then why are you at home? Why aren't you in New York?"

Loki couldn't believe him. Would he really ask that? "Are you serious right now, Tony? You do realize that my doctors are here? You do remember that I have to see my therapist every week, right?"

"How is that my problem?" Tony shot back.

It was like a knife in Loki's gut, twisted and stabbing over and over again. "Is that how you feel?" Loki asked lowly, feeling his body slump with defeat. "You don't care about what I'm going through?"

"I'm not saying that," Tony growled, his tone heavily laced with annoyance. "I'm just saying that you're not here when I need you."

Tears sprung to Loki's eyes when the weight of Tony's words hit him. He was right. Loki wasn't there for Tony. He'd failed him. Tony was hurting and he hadn't done a single thing to help him through his father's death. Loki sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to keep the tears at bay, and said, "Fuck, Tony. I'm…" He wanted to apologize, he did, but it was just building up to much and he felt like he was going to burst. "I have to go," he said the words quickly and hung up the phone right after.

Numb, Loki backed up and sat down limply onto the bed, letting the phone fall out of his hand into the soft sheets. Sprinkles was next to him in an instant, meowing and stepping onto Loki's lap tentatively. Loki accepted the cat's affection easily and cuddled him to his face, and that's when Loki suddenly found himself crying silently.

The door opened in front of him and there was Amora, looking at him with wide eyes. Loki could hardly see her through his blurry tears. "Oh, Loki," she said, letting go of the knob. That's when Loki knew that she had been listening. He couldn't be mad at her though, especially when she crossed the room and gathered him to her, holding him like no one had in a while. It was the feeling of being cared for, of being protected. Loki nestled his teary face into her neck.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Loki hung up, Tony suddenly realized what a dick he was. "Fuck!" Tony roared, jumping up from his desk, grabbing his glass of amber liquid, and threw it as hard as he could at the floor. The alcohol and glass showered everywhere with a crash, satisfying Tony for only a split second before he came back to his senses. God, who was he these days?

One of the double doors flew open, revealing Pepper, looking at the mess in shock. "Tony, what's going on in here?" she gasped.

Tony was in no mood to be lectured. "I need to go home," he grumbled, not looking at her. He went to his liquor cabinet and poured himself another glass of whisky and threw it back, sending a burning sensation all the way down his throat. After that, he drank another.

When he went in for another full glass, Pepper pulled the bottle away from him, bewildered. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he said shortly, but then stopped to amend, "Everything." He turned on his heal and left her behind.

It was ten at night and he still had a lot of work he had planned to do, to at least get somewhere close to being caught up, but he couldn't do it anymore. He was boiling with rage, with shame, and he was caught in a stupor all thanks to the liquid magic of alcohol.

He left the building in a haze but did not even care to call for his driver. Instead he chose to drag himself miserably down the cold streets of New York back to his hotel room. There was a good layer of snow on the ground and he hadn't bothered to grab a coat, but he didn't feel chilled yet. Tony kicked mercilessly at a bank of snow, cursing Loki's name, wondering why Loki couldn't tell that he was worried about him. He didn't blame Loki at all!

He began to pass a club when a few girls in the front of the line recognized him. "It's Tony Stark!" she yelled. The crowd went into an uproar, apparently thinking that he was about to attend their club.

Well, he was dressed for it; he wore a well-fit suit that was tailored to his modern style. Tony considered his options as the bouncer pulled the rope back for him, gesturing for him to enter at the front of the line.

Tony smiled bitterly and threw a wave to the crowd, sending them into renewed starry-eyed screams. This city loved Tony Stark and Tony figured right then and there that he would show his love back. A few flashes went off on people's phones, reminding Tony that he was always being watched, so he put on his lady-killing grin before following the bouncer's lead and slipping into the club.

The club was full to the brim of the rich and beautiful, Tony noted as soon as he came through the entrance into the bar zone. To the left was the pristine, long bar and on the far end was a row of more private booths. To the right was a dance floor and skyway that was plunged into almost complete darkness except for the pulsing multicolor lights that flowed with music. The people were body to body, moving as one mass, lost in the heat of the moment.

Loki would never fit in here.

It wasn't that Loki wasn't beautiful (because he certainly was) and it wasn't because he wasn't rich (because he basically was). It just was that Loki was the type that liked to stay home under a blanket with cup of tea, watching Harry Potter. Actually, Tony didn't even know how Loki would even act at a club, he'd never taken him to one.

Tony shook away his thoughts of Loki, growing more upset. It was clearly time for another drink. He bought himself three drinks in row and then he bought a round for all of the people standing at the bar, who had all cheered wildly when he'd stood on a bar stool to yell it to the crowd.

By this point, Tony was well intoxicated and feeling loopy. He laughed as a group of girls pulled him on to the dance floor with him, all taking a turn to grind with him to the heavy bass and breathe seductive secrets into his ear. The blur of alcohol and girls and maybe some guys had Tony soaring, reminding him that he was only an 18 year old and he should be living this way. He should be getting away with underage drinking and using his celebrity status to get into clubs. It felt right, it felt free.

It was getting late into the night when Tony found a beautiful girl with long black hair that reminded him heavily of Loki's soft locks, though much longer. Her face held no likeness to Loki whatsoever but that was probably a good thing when he pulled her aside to one of the side booths, shooing everyone else away as they fell over each other, laughing as they slid into the seat.

The woman didn't even hesitate and she launched herself onto Tony, climbing onto his lap and straddling him. Her arms trailed fire up his neck and into his hair and Tony slid his hands along her waist, just feeling her. He felt alive.

She gasped against his lips just as she kissed him, hot and in a frenzy. Tony groaned into her, especially when she moved her hips against his, creating quite the problem for Tony down below. "I want you," she breathed against his lips, moving closer and harder against him.

Tony couldn't think straight, knowing vaguely that there was something incredibly wrong with what he was about to do, but he was too caught up in the feeling, the touches. "My hotel room," Tony groaned. He put his hands heavily onto her elbows, stopping her from moving. "Let's go."

She grinned, hopping off him and pulling him by the hand out of the booth. They were halfway through the club when Tony pulled the girl back to him, kissing her hard on the mouth again. Somehow after that, she had ended up on his back with her thin arms wrapped around his neck as he gave her a piggy back out of the club.

As they exited, the screams of excitement started up again. Tony laughed and stupidly waved to the crowd as the pictures were taken of him with a girl on his back.

The girl grew impatient and lightly kicked his thigh, as if he was a horse and hollered, "Giddy up! To the hotel!"

Tony didn't even think of it a second more and laughed, blindly walking to his hotel. He wasn't even sure how he found it, or why he hadn't gotten ran over on the way, but he walked through the front doors with the girl and into the elevator.

When the doors closed, they were on each other again. He had the girl pressed up against the elevator wall and they were devouring each other in their passion, as the elevator went up and up to the top floor.

"Oh, Tony!" she cried out, pressing into him.

Tony froze.

Startled at his name, Tony launched backwards off of her, suddenly very, very aware of what he had just done. "Oh… no…" he said, backing up to the closed elevator door.

"Oh, yes," she called seductively and she threw herself back at him, but he grabbed her wrists, stopping her from wrapping herself around him.

"Oh no," Tony repeated. The door opened to Tony's suite behind him. "You have to go."

"What?" she cried, suddenly confused.

Tony wrenched her off of him and stumbled out the elevator, pushing the first floor button for the girl as he left. The doors closed on her shocked and enraged expression.

Tony glanced around his quiet and sobering hotel room. "Shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to dedicate this chapter to catastrophicwalnuts who always encourages me to update more often. Also, I would like additionally like to dedicate this chapter to masterjediratgrl31, whose birthday was yesterday!


	9. Truth and Lies

Loki threw a blanket over Amora, smiling down at her fondly, and then turned the movie off. He grabbed the half empty bowl of popcorn and brought it with him to the kitchen, discarding it on the counter.

"Phone call for you, sir," Jarvis said overhead, startling Loki into turning over the bowl of popcorn.

"I thought I disabled you," Loki gasped, glancing sourly at the mess scattered across the counters and onto the floor.

"Temporarily, sir. Tony reactivated me when you didn't answer his call earlier today," the A.I. replied.

Loki sighed and took his phone from his pocket. He'd turned it off shortly after his fight with Tony, but it seemed Tony still had ways of getting around that. He turned it back on and just as expected, there were several missed calls from Tony.

"I'll call him," Loki mumbled aloud and then leaned back against the counter, crossing one arm across his chest.

"Thank you," the A.I. said.

The phone barely rang when Tony answered, "Loks! Oh my god, Loks."

Loki frowned, pushed off the counter, and stood tensely. "Are you okay, Tony?" Tony's tone was shaky and he sounded so scared.

"I am sorry, Loks," Tony moaned. He sounded bad, messed up. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Slow down, keep calm. What is this about? Is this about earlier?"

A sharp sniff from Tony and Loki knew that he was crying.

"Are you drunk?" Loki asked instinctively. He felt an initial twinge of resentment but his consuming worry took over. "Are you at the hotel?"

"Yeah…" Tony trailed off and sniffed some more.

"Can you get yourself into bed? Can you do that for me?" Loki asked gently.

"Yeah." The phone shuffled around loudly. "I'm sorry, Loki," Tony repeated.

Loki shook his head, feeling the tears and hurt from earlier coming back. "It's okay. I forgive you, okay? Don't worry and just go to sleep."

"No," Tony cried. "You are going to hate me. Tomorrow you are going to hate me for sure. _I_ hate me."

Tony's words were growing seeds of doubt and fear within Loki. "I won't hate you, I promise. Just sober up, okay?"

His boyfriend continued to whine into the phone, "You are going to hate me. When you see tomorrow…"

"I won't," Loki reassured him. "But I really need you to go to bed. Can you make it?"

Tony sniffed one last time. "Yeah, I can do it."

Loki pressed a twitching hand on the counter and absently swept the popcorn into a pile, feeling exhausted. "Thank you. I'll stay on the phone with you until you get there, okay?"

"You don't have to. I'm already there."

"You're already in bed?"

"Goodnight, Loks," Tony said. Then the phone went dead.

Ah, Tony hung up on him. Loki looked at his phone wistfully, wishing he could be there with Tony and curl up at his side. He missed that.

He pocketed the phone and quickly cleaned up the mess before heading upstairs to his bed. Loki did smile to himself though. Maybe Amora was right; all they needed was Tony to screw up a little and now he was groveling at Loki's feet, just as Amora predicted. Things would better tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the late morning, the doorbell woke Loki, echoing across the whole house. Loki moaned, disrupting Sprinkles from his slumber in the crook of Loki's arm. The doorbell rang a second time and Loki was forced from his bed to trudge down to the front door.

He glanced briefly into the living room where Amora had been sleeping last night but she was gone. The blanket was laid flat across the couch.

Loki shrugged, figuring she must've went home early, and he channeled his attention back on the door. He took a moment to stare at it questionably. For a minute he couldn't recall who could possibly be at his door if it wasn't Amora, so he checked the peep hole. _Oh, it's Thor._

It all rushed back to him and he felt kind of proud for remembering so quickly. It seemed that he was getting better bit by bit.

Now cheerful, Loki opened the door and greeted his brother, "Hiya, Thor."

Thor was scowling at him. "Don't try to get in my good graces, brother. It's not going to work that way." He swept past Loki and dropped his things onto the tile just inside the door while Loki closed the door behind him. When he was finished, he turned on Loki, "Car keys, now."

"What?" Loki asked, gaping at him.

"You heard me. I need your car keys to make sure you don't do this again. What if you had forgot something or had some sort of reaction while you were driving? What would any of us had done if anything happened to you?"

Loki groaned, throwing his head back and pressing his fingers to his temples. "Fine! If it will get you to stop bothering me, I'll do it."

Thor beamed, clapping Loki on the back. "That's the spirit! Now get those for me."

Loki rolled his eyes and led the way into the kitchen. The keys were on the counter near the refrigerator and he tossed them to his brother who pocketed them.

"So how long are you staying?" Loki asked, going over to sit on one of the stools by the counter. Thor came to sit with him.

"Well I figured I could for the rest of the weekend, but I'm not sure what I'll do come Monday. I do have many things to attend to at school and I don't want to be away from Jane for long."

Loki nodded. "Don't worry about me too much. Besides, I often have Amora here these days."

"Hey, who is that anyway?" Thor asked. The curiosity was plain on his face.

"She's the bookstore owner's granddaughter. She sucks at everything and she's afraid of people, so she doesn't do a good job. But she's hilarious. She's almost as clueless as you, Thor."

Thor smiled fondly. "She sounds like a great person."

Loki lit up at his words. This was the first time Loki had heard someone say something good about his friend. "Thanks! She really is the best!"

"I would like to meet her if she has the time this weekend," Thor said. "I've got to know the person who has been taking care of my little brother."

Loki shrugged and took out his phone. "Well, like I said, she doesn't handle talking to people well, but I can see if she is willing to try." He scrolled down to Amora's contact number and clicked it. He hopped off the stool and gestured to Thor to hold on for a moment, before leaving the kitchen as the phone rang.

It rang a few times but went to Amora's voicemail, "Leave me a message or else I will assume you have nothing important to say. Peace!"

Loki laughed as it beeped and said, "Your voicemail message is ridiculous, Amora! Call me back, I have something I want to ask you." He hung up and headed back into the kitchen. Thor looked at him expectedly but Loki shook his head. "She didn't answer but I'm sure she'll at least text me in a while."

"Well, either way, I will be here taking care of you, so I even catch a glance of her I would feel better about her being here with you."

Loki sat back down next to Thor. "Otherwise I can always go to stay with my parents over in Ohio. I'm sure they would be glad to have me, you know?"

Thor beamed, excited. "That's a fantastic idea, Loki! We should set that up!"

"Yeah, we'll see," Loki said. He looked at his brother, taking him in. Thor looked very similar to the last time he'd seen him and Loki was happy to notice that he didn't feel disconnected from Thor like he felt for Tony. Loki wasn't even sure why he'd expected that. "So what would you like to do today, Thor?"

Thor grinned. "Let's have some hot chocolate just like the old days. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember. And I even have the same brand. Let's drink some and watch some Harry Potter."

"You are too predictable, brother," Thor said.

"Am I?"

"Harry Potter? Come on, anyone would guess that you would watch that."

"Well it is only the best series ever."

Thor rolled his eyes, taking the packet of powder that Loki passed him from where he was rummaging through a nearby cabinet. "Come, let's make these drinks, you will take your medication, and we will watch your overplayed movies."

"You remembered what time I take the medication?" Loki asked, looking at his own personal list of his medications on a sheet of paper laid on the far side of the counter.

"Yeah, I still have the one Tony gave me," Thor said, pulling out a heavily crumpled sheet from his pocket and smoothing it out on the counter.

Loki felt a pang in his chest. It felt strangely good to see Thor carrying that around for him. Loki turned away from his brother to pour milk into a cup for the hot chocolate. "Thanks, Thor," he said softly. He hoped his quiet thanks would be enough to convey to Thor how much he was grateful to have a brother like him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So Loki ended up having another movie day with Thor with more popcorn and several other snacks. They had just finished the first movie and Thor was already snoring away on his half of the couch, even though it was only 1PM on a Saturday.

Loki turned off the movie and switched it to a normal station while he cleaned up a bit. He took the empty bowls into the kitchen just as whatever show came on and he set the dishes in the sink with a promise to himself that he would clean the dishes later.

He came back into the living room just as the host of the celebrity show announced, "We have some interesting news today about Tony Stark! Last night he was spotted—"

Loki flicked off the TV, not wanting to hear the tabloid's constant bashing of his boyfriend. He turned to Thor and kicked the edge of the couch, rousing his brother awake. "Thor, I'm bored!"

Thor jolted awake but took his merry time of actually opening eyes. After much moaning, Thor sat up, yawning. "Well… we do have to do your memory exercises."

"That's the last thing I want to do."

"We have to do it," Thor urged, rubbing his eyes. "I will go get it for you even. Wait here."

As Thor left the room, Loki huffed and sat down on the floor. He'd actually been neglecting the memory game, so it was going to be interesting to see how he would fair now. Waiting, Loki got out his phone and went onto the internet to surf while Thor got things ready. First, Loki flicked through his Facebook. Nothing interesting there. Then he headed over to his email. He paused on the home page when he was confronted with the image of Tony outside a night club.

His heart pounded as he stared, finger stuck hovering over the screen. The title of the article is what had stopped Loki from moving on. It read, _The End of Tony Stark and Loki Odinson?_

"What?" Loki hissed in utter confusion.

He went to click on it when Thor entered the room and he said down heavily beside Loki. "What are you looking at?"

"Do you see what this says?" Loki said, showing Thor the title of the article. "Absolutely ridiculous!"

Thor clicked on it for him and the page loaded slowly. "I wonder what it's about."

"Something stupid, I'm sure," Loki said as the article finally loaded. He scrolled down and froze. Thor inhaled sharply beside him.

The first picture on the loaded page was a picture of a quiet booth shadowed by the dim lighting of the club and there was Tony with a woman on his lap and they were… kissing. And that was wording it lightly.

Thor yanked the phone out of Loki's shocked hand and yelled, "Is this a real picture?"

Loki twisted his neck painfully to look as Thor scrolled further to reveal more pictures that had Loki crawling in his skin. A picture of Tony giving the same girl a piggy back, another of him taking her into an elevator…

"He cheated on me?" Loki asked lowly. He wished he could scream or cry or something but he was suddenly feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding," Thor said but he wasn't looking at Loki, just reading rapidly through the article, desperately searching for errors in the story.

"He cheated on me, Thor," Loki said, looking at his brother sharply.

Thor shook his head, his eyes wide when he turned on Loki like he was afraid Loki would explode. "That can't be true. Tony wouldn't do that to you."

"He would and he did," Loki growled through clenched teeth. He wrapped his arms around his middle, suddenly feeling painfully cold. "He did this to me." Loki got a flash of his conversation with Tony from the night before. "Oh God, that's what he was trying to tell me last night." Loki breathed in sharply, shaking.

"We need to call Tony, Loki. We need to find out if this is true."

"Why bother?" Loki yelled, feeling himself going into hysterics. "Why should I? I always knew this day would come! Tony is this goddamn celebrity and I'm just this broken half-person. Isn't it obvious?"

"Loki—"

Loki was shaking more than ever. "Why would he do this to me, Thor? What did I do wrong?"

Thor grabbed his brother and pulled him into a strong hug. "You did nothing, Loki. Nothing, you hear me?"

Loki felt numb and hot and cold all at once. It hurt. So he took a deep breath, inhaling Thor's comforting scent, and then breathed out just as steadily, but it didn't stop the storm of emotions crashing over Loki all at once. "I hate him."

"No you don't," Thor said softly against Loki's ear.

Loki wanted to hate _Thor_ for how much truth was in his words. "No, but I want to. Fucking bastard."

"Yes, he is a bastard," Thor agreed, "but we need to make sure that this is true."

Another shaky breath made its way through Loki's lips. "It's true, it's obvious." Loki pulled away from him. "And I'm going to kick Tony's ass for this. I'm going to make him taste hell."


	10. Missing You

Tony was scared. He wasn't sure why he didn't try to reach out to Loki, to try to make things okay, but he was utterly afraid of what was going to happen. If he lost Loki…

He shook his head, trying to keep his shaking body still, but his knee kept jumping with the nervous anticipation. Tony was absolutely sure that Loki would notice soon enough and would call at any time. For the love of god, they were reporting about his so-called affair on every tabloid site, show, and magazine! It was only a matter of time.

"Jarvis, did he notice yet?" He actually had his A.I. spying on Loki for him and while he felt bad about that, his heart needed a warning for the inevitable.

"No, sir. He is still viewing the movie with Thor."

"Let me know the instant that changes," Tony said, standing from his perch on the couch and heading over to his bar. He went to grab a drink but stopped himself, thinking better of it. He needed to be sober when Loki called.

Instead, Tony filled his time with tinkering. He really should have been working on the paperwork he hadn't finished the night before, but his mind was elsewhere. There was no way he would be able to concentrate like this. After a good thirty minutes of mindless fiddling, Tony jolted when his phone rang.

Grabbing at it, he answered with a desperate, "Loki!"

"No, it's Pepper," she greeted. "I'm at your place and I'm coming up."

"Pepper—"

She hung up, leaving Tony to groan and press the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Jarvis, make sure you still—"

"I will warn you of Master Loki's call."

"Good," Tony sighed. He crossed the living room just as the elevator dinged, announcing its occupant. Pepper stepped out and he greeted, "Welcome to my penthouse!"

She whacked him with her purse. "Why are you so cheerful? Did you not see the news?"

Tony's small smile disappeared. "Yes, it's all I've been thinking about this morning."

"How did Loki take it?"

"Er… he didn't?"

"Tony!" she cried, smacking him a second time in the chest with her heavy bag.

Tony didn't defend himself. "Please hit me more because I already know I deserve it!"

She shook her head, looking at him threateningly. "No, I'll leave that up to Loki."

"Ugh, did you come over just to do this to me?"

She straightened, stringing her bag back over her shoulder and then gestured to the three files stacked in her arm. "I came to talk about these reports on Howard's crash."

Tony took the top one off of the stack, his eyes on her with suspicion. "You went through these that fast?"

"Well, while you were partying last night and bumming around this morning, I actually did some investigating."

"And did you find anything?"

She looked uncertain. "That top file is your observations," she explained as he opened to look inside. "This next one is Obadiah's ordered investigation with the police."

She passed that one to him and Tony opened it, looking at the information inside. It looked almost identical to the information in Tony's file. "Are there any variants?"

Pepper nodded, putting the last file on top of the open one. "This is my file that compares the two. There are some subtle differences that seem… suspicious. You will definitely have to keep your eye on Obadiah." She opened her file and pointed at the first paragraph. "This is a comparison with the layout of the crash. The police reported that Howard was killed due to a car crash that smashed on the right side of the limo, hitting Howard directly. But like you said, if Howard was sitting on his usual side, he might have survived. However, it doesn't end there." She slid her finger down to the next bit of information. "I detailed the differences on how the crashed were described. Your investigators included a picture that wasn't added to Obadiah's report. The photo shows the angle of how the car was hit…"

Tony flipped open the other file to look back at the picture. In it, the car was smashed up on the right side, just as defined in the police report. "What about it?" Tony asked slowly, clearly missing something.

Pepper smiled triumphantly, knowing that she had come to a conclusion before Tony for once. "The angle of how it was hit! It couldn't have hit Howard head on. He sat here, near the back of the limo," she said, sweeping an invisible circle around that section of the limo behind the mangled dent in the car. "The other car hit angling towards the front of the car, towards the driver, which is of course why the driver also died. But that would mean just serious injuries for Howard. I just don't see how Howard would have died when the car being hit was so indirect. The car didn't roll."

"We're grasping at straws," Tony said. "But it's looking more and more as if this accident wasn't really an accident."

"Right," Pepper said. "So we need to get our hands on some autopsy reports and I think you should do a little snooping on Obadiah. There does seem to be something weird about all of this."

Tony breathed in, wary of it all. "What if we turn out to be all wrong? We're going to waste a lot of hours on this."

Pepper nodded. "Yeah, but like you said, it could be right. Honestly, Tony, it's up to you on what you want to do with this."

Tony bit his lip, setting the files down on the coffee table. "I don't know, I guess I will go through the rest of the files to triple check before we take this a step forward. I'll see if there are any other pieces of the puzzle hidden in these somewhere."

"I'm willing to go through these again," Pepper said, stepping around him and heading towards the couch nearest to her. She slumped down, kicking off her heels and patted the seat beside her.

Tony took out and glanced briefly at his phone, checking to make sure that there still weren't any missed calls from Loki. Nope, there was nothing. "Jarvis?"

"The movie has not yet ended, sir," Jarvis replied.

Tony replaced the phone in his pocket and went to sit by Pepper. He had to move the electronics that he had been messing with out of the way before sitting next to her. Then he grabbed Obadiah's file while Pepper went through Tony's.

She flipped another page but paused. "So what was that about?"

"What was what?" he asked, glancing up from the page he had not yet tried to read.

"What Jarvis told you?"

Tony casted her a sheepish look. "Well, I'm kinda making Jarvis warn me the second it looks like Loki will call me. That way I can be mentally prepared."

She sneered at him with disgust. "I don't understand why you don't call him. It would hurt less coming from you than a news report or something."

Tony tensed. "I don't want to bring on the consequences any earlier than I have to."

"You're a coward," she said, shaking her head, continuing to page through the report.

"Believe me, I know," Tony replied. Then he got to work.

Not long had passed and Tony was already tired because of the boring reports but he was mostly exhausted because of the emotional drainage. Every second was spent thinking of Loki and how things were going to play out. Honestly, he wasn't helping Pepper at all with this mindset.

"Sir," Jarvis interrupted him suddenly. Tony's heart burst into a pounding pace. "Master Loki has just found the news on his phone. I suspect he will be calling you soon."

"Shit!" Tony cried, knocking his files onto the ground, sending the pages everywhere. He went to pick them up, but Pepper held a hand out to stop him and instead started to gather them herself. Meanwhile, Tony struggled the phone his pocket. For the love of god, this was not the time for his phone to get stuck in his pants!

When he had finally gotten it out, he stood and held the phone out in front of him, looking at it as if it would explode. He braced his other hand on his hip and walked in that awkward pose over to the full wall length window and looked out at New York City as he waited.

Minutes ticked by.

Then Loki's ring tone finally floated quietly from his phone, which almost sounded eerie in the silence of his apartment. Behind him, Pepper shuffled some papers and he could feel her heavy gaze turn away as she tried to give him a little privacy.

Shaking, Tony answered the call. "Loki?"

"Tony," the flat reply came. A short pause and then, "Really?"

"Loki, I…" he trailed off, not knowing where to even to begin his apology.

There was soft and defeated sigh on Loki's end. Tony's heart jolted at the sound; this wasn't at all how he wanted Loki to feel. "I don't even know what to say," Loki said finally. Again, his tone sounded level and flat, but Tony knew that Loki was holding out on him. There was rage and pain behind those calm words.

"I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk," Tony said quickly but then cringed at his own words. It sounded so cliché and fake. "I really didn't mean for that to happen, Loki."

There was another pause. "I don't… get an apology?" The words weren't so level anymore. Loki's voice broke on the last word and Tony suddenly was aware of how deeply he had cut Loki's trust.

Tony blinked away tears and moved his free hand to clutch at his throbbing chest. "I'm sorry, Loks. I'm so, so, so sorry but I know that that won't help. I know that saying sorry won't fix this, but I will do everything to show you that I do love you. Because I do, Loks. You are the only one for me. I love you."

Loki sniffed. Ah, there it is. There was the emotion Tony had expected. But just because Tony had expected this reaction, didn't mean that it didn't hurt any less. He despised himself for making Loki go through this. Loki sniffed again, "You're an ass."

"I know I am."

"But I am too."

Tony frowned, incredulous. "Don't be ridiculous, Loks. I know what I did wrong, just hit with all you've got. Please yell at me, okay? Please?"

"No," Loki hissed, sounding winded. "I'm at fault here too. I didn't support you. I should've stayed in New York with you."

"Don't you dare put that on yourself!" Tony growled, suddenly angry. He was angry on Loki's behalf. "You did absolutely nothing to deserve the shit I gave you. Don't you dare take the blame!"

"How?" Loki sobbed. The sob sent a spear through Tony but he basked in it, trying to cover the guilt that was eating away at him. Loki's sobs continued, "How am I not supposed to blame myself when my boyfriend _doesn't want me?_ "

"Fuck, Loks," Tony replied. He felt ripped to shreds. "I love you! You hear me? You are perfect in every fucking way and I love you. You got that?"

Loki mumbled something inaudible.

"What was that?"

Loki spoke a little louder, "Even with my—"

"I love every part of you, Loks," Tony declared, determined to make him understand. "No matter what your body is doing, I love you, the soul inside the body."

It went quiet on Loki's end. "I love you too, Tony," was Loki's soft reply.

Tony's disbelief was tenfold. Loki was actually letting him off easy and it was clear that he did not yet understand that Tony _did not_ blame him.

Tony pressed his forehead to the window pane and said lowly, "Loki, you have to yell at me. You have to do something to make me feel like the piece of shit that I am."

Loki sighed, "I don't want to do that."

"Yes, you do. Don't hold back on me."

"I _don't_ want to," Loki spat back, his agitation growing.

Tony took that as a good sign. "Harry Potter sucks."

"What?" Loki gasped, sounding utterly offended. "I know what you are trying to do and don't you dare bring this—"

"And star-gazing is for losers!"

"Tony, stop!" Loki's voice was increasing in volume.

Tony closed his eyes, preparing himself before saying, "And you have a scrawny ass."

Loki's reaction was instantaneous. "Tony, you fucking asshole! Are you kidding right now? First you cheat on me with some random floozy and—"

"She wasn't a floozy—"

"—Shut up! I'm not done! First you do that and now you bring up the one thing I told you to never every bring up again! We _talked_ about this!"

"So me talking about your scrawny ass is what really makes you mad?" Tony pushed.

"Yes, you asshole! Do you even have a brain! I will kill you, Stark. You better not sleep tonight, because you can be assured that I will slaughter you brutally before you even get into REM sleep!"

"Stark? Ah, you're bringing out the pet names."

Loki groaned loudly and childishly. "You are the worst. The absolute worst! I wish I could just STRANGLE you right now!"

Tony didn't even have to prompt Loki to continue.

"The next time I see you, Stark, I will make you regret that you ever came to love me. You will piss yourself with fear."

"I would never regret you, Loks," Tony said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

Finally there was silence on Loki's end, followed by another defeated exhale. "What are we going to do?"

Tony could feel his thudding heart slowing. "I'm getting on my private jet and I'm coming to you, okay? I need to make this okay. I need you to let me show you how much I love you."

"All you have to do is promise that this will never happen again," Loki said quietly. "That's all I need."

"I'm going to promise to you when I see you," Tony assured him. "I don't want to leave this over the phone. I want to you to look me in the eye when I tell you that I love you and I will not do something like this again."

Tony could hear Loki breathing through the phone and he waited, letting Loki decide what their fate would be. Whatever Loki said after this point, he would try to respect it and understand, but he promised himself long ago that he would never let Loki slip away again. Even if Loki said that he never wanted to see Tony again, Tony wouldn't be able to accept it. Not really.

"Okay," Loki said finally. "You better come quickly."

"I'm leaving now."

"Be safe," Loki said.

"I will. I love you."

Loki hung up.

Tony took the phone from his ear and spun around to face Pepper. She was already standing with the files stacked on the coffee table. "I'm assuming that we will continue this when I come back next weekend?"

"You are one smart cookie," Tony smiled. He brushed past her and grabbed his keys. "Now you have to leave so I can get out of here. I have a plane to catch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been an influx of chapters, which you've probably noticed. This is due to my participation in National Author's Month! Cheer me on, guys. I need to write every day this month.


	11. Reconnecting

Loki spent the rest of the day feeling conflicted. He was sure Tony would be there by the end of the evening and he was both looking forward to it but also feeling a little afraid. With the relationship he and Tony had, Loki was confident that nothing could pull them apart. He was just afraid of the awkwardness that would initially come with Tony's arrival. Loki didn't want to feel that way about his boyfriend.

Thor had tried to keep his mind off of things by offering to watch movies with him or even doing more mind exercises… Thor was kind of thick like that. Who wants to do memory games when they are stressed out?

Instead, Loki shrugged on a coat, slipped on some boots, and then braved crawling out their bedroom window onto the nostalgic space of roof on Tony's side overlooking where Loki's bedroom was.

While the house stood empty for now and the furniture was draped in sheets to keep it from dusting, Loki knew that Thor was caring for it well. Thor went over there every time he came to visit to spruce things up. In fact, Thor had already shoveled the driveway from the recent snow. Thor was pretty amazing like that.

Loki held his cold phone in his hand, looking through his most recent conversation to Amora. She had not yet replied. He felt there was something wrong.

"Come on, Amora. Pick up," he whispered, pressing her contact to call. He wanted to make sure she was okay, but he also wanted to tell her about Tony.

She picked up a second later with a soft, "Hello?"

"Amora!"

"Loki? Hey!"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" he asked, glancing up at the darkening night sky. The stars weren't visible with all of the cloud cover.

She giggled humorlessly, not sounding like her normal bubbly self. "I had things on my mind, you know? Things to sort out."

"Tell me about it," Loki said, leaning back against the wall of the house, covered in snow. "Tony's coming back from New York. We have things to discuss."

"He cheated on you, I heard."

Loki sighed. "Yeah, but I think things will be okay."

"Let's hope," she said as if she really and truly wished that for him. "You know things aren't things like that with my ex."

"Aren't?" Loki asked. "I thought that was in the past."

"It's complicated," she defended. "Let's not talk about it."

That was something Loki could get behind because he suddenly didn't want to discuss Tony with her either. She wasn't going through enough without thinking about his problems too. "Thor wants to meet you, you know," Loki said.

"I know, I read your texts, but I'm busy with things. That's why I didn't come into work today. Grandma knows though. Sorry to leave you by yourself!"

Loki's body heated with horror. "Crap, I was supposed to work today, wasn't I? I didn't go…"

"That's okay," she said, laughing. "But you should come in tomorrow to keep me company. You could even work to make up for yesterday."

"You just want me to do your work for you."

"Bingo!" she laughed.

Loki smiled warmly, loving every second he talked to Amora. She just knew how to make him feel better.

He brightened even more when he saw a pair of headlights come around the corner. That had to be Tony. "I'll let you know about tomorrow, but I have to go. Tony's here."

"Make him grovel!" she said.

"He already did that," Loki said.

"Way to go!" Amora congratulated.

"You are terrible."

"Wouldn't have it any other way! See ya!"

"Bye," Loki returned. He hung up and struggled to his feet, taking extra care not slip over the snow on the slanted shingles.

Tony's car had already turned into the driveway and Loki could no longer see the headlights. His heart started to thump at the thought of Tony being here, in person, after so long.

Loki continued to struggle with getting back in the window. The window had shut itself and it was damn near impossible to reopen it without slipping backwards towards the edge of house. Loki braced his feet against each side of the window and tried a quick spurt of energy to try to jam the window open. Unfortunately that made him more unstable and he slid even more.

Steadying again, Loki gave up on the window, glaring at it. Great. Now he had to wait until someone found him up here and we would get the sweet embarrassment of being rescued from his own roof.

He only had to wait a measly minute before Tony burst into their bedroom and spotted Loki where he was lurking outside the house. "Loki!" was his muffled cry from inside.

Coming to the window, he threw it open and leaned out, grabbing onto Loki's arm to pull him in. "Geez, what were you doing out there?"

Loki grabbed onto Tony's arms as steadying leverage and hauled himself onto the windowsill with grace. "I was waiting for you, clearly."

"I clearly can't leave you alone anymore if you are going to do strange things like go on roofs in the middle of winter."

Loki looked at him sharply, doing his best to glare at him despite the fluttery feeling he got in his stomach, just by looking into Tony's dark brown eyes. God, it never felt so good to look into his boyfriend's eyes, to take in the untidy ruffle of his dark brown hair, and the way he looked at Loki like he was something precious.

Finally standing firm on solid ground, Loki realized that Tony was still holding on to him despite being safely inside now. He also noticed that they were staring at each other intently, neither making the first move to pull apart.

Taking in a deep breath, Loki slipped his arms from Tony's grip. At first, Tony was stricken, but when Loki took off his jacket and boots and then put his hands back in Tony's, he lit up with the barest of hope.. "Hi," Loki said softly, filling slowly with trust, just by finally seeing Tony in person.

"Hey," Tony replied just as softly. "You can yell at me if you want."

"I don't need your permission."

"You're right. You don't," Tony relented.

Loki was at a loss. He'd never seen this look in Tony's eyes before; it was the look of a man backed into a corner with no options left.

"And you don't have to forgive me," Tony continued.

Loki couldn't help it. Despite all of the anger still rolling in his stomach, he grabbed onto Tony's shirt and wrenched him roughly to him, crashing their lips together in a desperate kiss. Tony responded immediately, letting go of Loki's hand to snake both up Loki's waist while Loki explored Tony's broad shoulders and the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

Tony pulled back from the kiss, breathing in deeply. "Loks, let's talk."

Whining, Loki closed his eyes and pressed his face into Tony's neck. "Ugh, I don't want to." His face was already growing red mostly from embarrassment and partially from the heat of their kiss. "I just want to erase that woman from your body."

"Hey, no objections there," Tony chirped happily, grabbing Loki by the shoulders and pulling him away at arm's length to get a look at him. "But first we need to straighten this thing out between us."

Loki pressed a hand to his tired eyes. "I know you won't do it again," he said softly. "And I already know that you are going to promise me that this won't happen ever again, okay? Can we just skip it?"

"See that's why we have to do it," Tony explained. "I need you to know that I really mean it, okay?" Tony steered Loki by the shoulders over to the bed.

Loki looked over his shoulders at the bed and then squinted at Tony. "Are you going to show me you mean it while doing… other things?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Tony laughed. He pushed Loki gently backwards to sit on the bed and then stood in front of him in a wide stance, hands on his hips. He breathed in heavily.

"You're freaking me out," Loki told him, not sure what Tony was planning on doing.

Then started to get down on his knees in front of Loki.

Loki snapped his legs together, thinking of the dirtiest things. "What are you doing?"

Tony looked at him with a brilliant grin. "Don't worry, I'm not doing anything kinky, okay? Not yet."

"Not yet," Loki scoffed.

With Tony on his knees in front of him, Loki felt extremely uncomfortable and wary. Tony was looking at him with the most pained eyes, like his heart had been ripped out and crushed to pieces. He was looking at Loki like he was something he couldn't be worthy of. Then Tony took Loki's hands in his own, squeezing warmly before dropping his forehead against Loki's knees. "Loki, I love you more than anything and I would give up everything to be with you."

Loki's breath came short as Tony looked up at him with those repenting eyes. "Tony—"

Tony moved closer, cupping Loki's cheek with delicate fingers, trailing a path of fire along Loki's skin. "I promise you, Loki Odinson, with everything I've got that I will never do this to you again."

Loki's face must've been pure red because it suddenly felt incredibly hot under Tony's gaze. "You didn't have to kneel," Loki said, turning his face into Tony's neck to hide the redness.

"Yes I did," Tony whispered, pressing his lips across Loki's neck the lightest of touches. A shiver ran down Loki's neck with the sensation. "I'm not done showing you how much you mean to me."

"Oh? Do you have other plans for us?"

Tony pulled away and Loki glared at him, causing Tony to laugh. "You really want to have sex with me that bad?"

Loki crossed his arms, looking away.

Still laughing, Tony came off the floor to sit by Loki on the bed. "No, before we do that, I need to make you understand—"

"I understand, I understand already!" Loki yelled at Tony. "Can't we just…?"

"Nope," Tony said, knocking his shoulder playfully against Loki's. "I need to make you dinner and massage your feet and make you bathe with rose petals—"

"Really, rose petals?"

"Yes, they are downstairs."

Loki smiled at him warmly. "You are a sap."

"And you love it," Tony said. He gathered Loki into another kiss and Loki felt himself suffocating with the wonder of it all. Tony's lips were soft and warm, but mostly Loki really missed the way that Tony sometimes liked to snag Loki's bottom lip between his teeth, holding him possessively. Just as he was hoping for this, Tony finally did.

Loki breathed in sharply at the sensation, growing weak with the pleasure. When Tony pulled back, Loki whispered Tony's name like a prayer.

Tony huffed in amusement, cupping Loki's face before kissing him again lightly. "Now come on," he told Loki. "Let me give you the night of your life." He moved in front of Loki, facing away and squatted down. Looking over his shoulder, he beckoned Loki. "Jump on."

The grin that grew on Loki's lips was unstoppable. "Are you sure you can make it down the stairs with my on your back?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Please, you weigh, what, like 10 pounds?"

"I'm not that scrawny," Loki said as he stood from the bed. Loki aligned himself against Tony and wrapped his arms around the warm body. Tony fluidly supported Loki's legs and stood like Loki weighed nothing at all.

Purposefully, Tony started the hall, walking with the power of a man with a mission. "Thor!" he cried down the hall.

Thor was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, watching them fondly. "So you made up?"

"Yes!" Tony exclaimed. "But I regret to inform you, blondie, that you're going to have stay in your own house. Loki and I are going to catch up in our bedroom later. It'll be loud."

"Tony!" Loki cried, punching him in the side.

If it hurt even a little, Tony brushed it off with a loud laugh, descending the rest of the stairs. "Hey, you were the one begging for it just now!"

"You're a tyrant," Loki groaned and covered his eyes with embarrassment.

The two were so engrossed with their bickering on the way to the kitchen that they didn't notice Thor leave, just as Tony had suggested. The two were too engrossed in each other to notice anything else.


	12. Bruised

Tony noticed two things the night after he and Loki made up. The first came to mind when Loki woke up, laying partially on top of Tony. Loki had looked up with him with so much love and adoration, sending Tony reeling, but what was weird about it was there wasn't even a hint of confusion in Loki's eyes.

What especially weirded him out was that Loki didn't even reach for his notebook on the bedside table. That was usually the first thing Loki did, from Tony's experience. "Not going to read your notes?" Tony asked as he ran his fingers through Loki's soft and messy locks of hair.

For a second the confusion finally did flicker on Loki's face but then he smiled, so proud of himself. Tony wanted to squish him with how adorable he looked. He said, "I haven't been writing notes lately. I've been pretty good at remembering everything."

Tony grinned, initially wanting to congratulate him, but he did feel a bit uneasy. How did Loki know that he was remembering things if he wasn't keeping a record of it? But despite Tony's unease, he brushed it aside in favor of supporting Loki. He didn't want another argument to break out over something that Tony could bring up later. "That's wonderful," he said passionately, sincerely hoping that Loki was right about himself.

The second thing Tony noticed that the first thing Loki did when rolling away from Tony to get up, was check his phone. It was no doubt to check for messages from Amora, and while Tony still felt a twinge of jealousy, he immediately let it go. With Loki physically at his side, he had remembered how strong their relationship was. Besides, he didn't even really have a right to be jealous, based off of how he had treated Loki as of late.

"Amora has been neglecting her texts," Loki said, frustrated. As soon as he said it, he paused, looking up at Tony with an expression of dread.

Loki obviously thought Tony was going to have a fit just by hearing Amora's name. So to prove him wrong, Tony asked, "When do I get to meet Amora anyway?"

Loki beamed. "I'll ask her when I see her today at the bookshop."

"You're going to work today?" Tony asked, surprised.

He nodded, setting his phone down. Almost like a silent apology, Loki crawled across the bed again, just to kiss Tony with such soft passion, that Tony felt himself melt. Why did he even push Loki away? His pained and grieving heart was already lighter with Loki. He felt alive again.

"I'm just going in for a few hours to watch over Amora. She really sucks at working, to put it lightly."

"She makes you do all the work, doesn't she?"

"Just like Thor used to do to me when we had to chores around the house…" he trailed off, seemingly getting lost in his mind. "Did you know that she likes all of those same 80's movies that you like?"

"Well, then she must be brilliant," Tony said, pressing another kiss to Loki's brow.

Loki smiled at him before moving away again to get out of bed again. "She is. Now if only she could apply that brilliance to actually working, she would then be my favorite person in the world."

"She would be your favorite over me?" Tony asked, feigning an appalled tone.

Loki's face transformed into the picture of wickedness. "Oh, yes. She would definitely beat you. It would be almost too easy, actually."

Tony sprang out of bed, naked as the day he was born. Loki halted in surprise to stare at Tony, obviously forgetting that Loki was the only one who had redressed after last night's tryst. Tony turned away, showing Loki his ass as he headed for the shower. "That's it! I'm revoking sex until you take that back!"

"Don't be an asshole," Loki groaned, following Tony into the bathroom.

Tony turned on Loki and closed the door behind them. "I will forgive you if you take a shower with me."

The pants were already being slipped from Loki's skinny hips. "Is it going to be a shower or it going to be the kind of shower that we do things and then we have to really clean up after?"

"The second one, please," Tony said, pulling back the shower curtain.

"Then make the water hot. I don't want to freeze," Loki said as he slipped off the last of his clothes.

Tony laughed. "You'll be hot with what we are doing, anyway."

Loki pushed him playfully as they both got into the shower. Time for some fun.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki had decided to brave the icy streets, refusing Tony's offer to drive him there. Really, Tony, it's only a few blocks away! Why waste resources?

It wasn't snowing but there was a harsh wind that bit through Loki's jacket, making him feel cold from the inside out. Loki didn't mind the cold though because he could tolerate it a lot more than people usual did.

Crunching across the snow on the side of the road, Loki made his way over the curb to the shop and then stopped with a frown. The shop looked dark and quiet, which definitely shouldn't be like that if Amora had opened. Frowning, he went to the front and found that Amora hadn't even flipped the sign to open and actually, as Loki tried to open the door he also discovered that the building was locked.

Loki groaned. "Really, Amora?" He wondered if she had even come in today and he took out his own key to the front, unlocking it.

The door opened to a warm but empty bookstore and Loki flushed with the sudden difference in temperature. He spotted Amora right away, sitting behind the counter with her work apron on, staring at her nails.

"How are you this incompetent?" Loki asked, unwrapping the scarf from his neck and pulling off his gloves.

She looked up and smiled. "Your hat is absolutely adorable," she said.

Loki ignored the comment to stare at his companion. There was an ugly bruise on her eye that was black, blue and purple. Loki had to blink away images of Odin. "Geez, Amora. What happened?" he gasped, coming around the counter to stand in front of her.

A defiant look flashed behind those blue eyes and Loki suddenly saw himself in her. "It's nothing I can't deal with."

Loki grew pale. Her words haunted him with his own from all those years ago. He was sure that he had said the same thing to Thor or Tony. "You don't have to go through this alone," Loki said quickly, rushing to help his friend. "You can stay at my house with me."

"That's a kind offer, but I have everything under control, I promise," she said, smiling sadly.

His heart thudded at the utterly resigned way she said this, like she was accepting her fate. Was Loki ever like that? "Is there some way I can help?" he asked softly, not wanting to push her.

She mulled that over. "Not right now, but I have you on speed dial, okay?"

Loki didn't like the situation one bit, but he let it pass by while he went around opening up the shop. He turned the lights on, turned on the music, and unlocked the front door. When he went back to the counter, he dressed in his own apron, and then grabbed a stack of new books that were waiting to be priced and set it down heavily next to Amora. She only watched as he got to work.

"So is that why you locked the door again?" Loki asked after a moment. Loki could practically imagine how she arrived today, scared and hurt and desperate for a place to feel safe.

Her eyes flickered with several emotions but she settled with saying, "Not really."

Again, Loki didn't want to push it, so he went back to stacking the books ever he had labeled each one. He was almost done when she finally spoke again, "So what are you doing now that you made up with Tony?"

Loki looked up at her sharply. "How did you know that?"

"You aren't so mopey today," she said, shrugging.

Labeling another book, Loki took a moment to consider her question. What was happening now that everything was relatively okay with them now?

"If he asked you to go with him to New York, would you?" she asked.

"Yes," Loki said immediately. There was no question about it. He wanted to be where ever Tony was at this point.

"Would you stay here, if he gave you the choice?"

Loki looked at her curiously. She had pulled her knees to her chest like a child and she was looking at him with worried eyes. "Amora, if you want me to stay with you, just say so, okay?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not your responsibility. Just do whatever you feel is right."

Loki wished he could say otherwise, but the words left his mouth without thinking, "I would go wherever Tony wants to go." It was the undeniable truth on his lips.

She nodded, brightening. "Will you just promise to answer my calls when you get them?"

"You don't have to worry about that," Loki said sadly. "We can talk daily if you want."

She smiled. "Thanks, Loki."

"And you have to call me if you have any trouble, okay? If you get into a bad situation, I will kill anyone who hurts you."

She grinned. "Thanks, Loki."

"No need to thank me. Just try to take care of yourself." He sounded confident but he was worried for her. If he did go away, what would become of Amora?

Loki went back to stacking the books, mind reeling with the dark possibilities.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Are we going to New York?" Loki asked as soon as he was back in the house. Tony had come to greet him eagerly, sweeping Loki quite literally off of his feet, carrying him a princess hold. Loki pushed at him laughing. "I have to take off my boots."

Tony grinned. "I was thinking of taking you straight up to the bedroom."

Loki pushed at Tony's chest, shaking his head. "We'll have to save that for later. Thor is coming over for dinner, remember?" Thor had had the intelligence to call to ask them this morning before Loki left for the day, instead of just showing up this time.

Tony set him down gently, getting melted slush all over the entrance rug. "Alas, my plans are foiled again by your brother."

"Not totally," Loki said, knocking of his boots by stepping on the back of the shoes' heels. "It's just delayed." He finished and then started to take off his scarf and gloves while Tony kept looking up at the top of his head.

"You look adorable in that," Tony said, gesturing to Loki's hat. It was a big floppy green winter hat.

"I know," Loki said confidently with a grin. "Amora told me the same thing."

Tony hummed his agreement before plucking the hat off Loki's head, revealing the messy black hair beneath. "But you are even cuter disheveled like this," he said predatorily, moving in.

Loki held out a hand to stop Tony from coming any closer. "Thor will be over. Don't do anything you'll regret."

Tony pressed his lips to the corner of Loki's, winding his hands to the small of Loki's back. "Maybe we can let him watch."

"Ugh! Don't give me nightmares," Loki gagged.

Tony pecked him on the lips and then moved away, leading Loki to the kitchen. "I was thinking we could make lasagna."

"As long as it's not mac and cheese," Loki said, sitting down one of the stools at the counter.

"You want to make the salad?" Tony asked, returning to this ingredients all lined up by the oven. He got back to work.

Loki leaned onto one hand, memorizing Tony's back, completely happy. "Yeah, I can do that." He didn't move though, he just watched Tony work for a few moments more. "You didn't answer my question, you know."

Tony turned around, holding a jar of red sauce. "Whatever you want to do, Loki. I want you to be happy."

He sighed. "I was going to say the same thing to you."

Tony laughed. "We are hopeless, aren't we?"

"Pretty much," Loki replied, heading over the fridge to get the salad ingredients out. "But I was thinking that I would go with you to New York."

Tony looked utterly surprised by Loki's decision. "Really?"

"Compromise," Loki said, closing the fridge, holding a mass of supplies for the Caesar salad. "But you have to help me do something before we go back to New York."

"Yeah, anything." His complete attention on him.

Loki smiled, appreciating how much Tony cared. "We'll talk about it later tonight."

A frown creased Tony's eyes for a moment and he looked like he wanted to ask right away. Instead, he nodded. "Sure, Loks."

"I love you," Loki reminded him.

Tony's face flushed with happiness. "Love you, too."

They went back to making dinner.


	13. On the Road Again

After Thor had left, heading back to college, Tony and Loki convened in their room for some special alone time. Once such acts were over, Tony laid in bed with Loki wrapped against him. Their limbs were entangled and Tony could smell the shampoo in Loki's hair. He breathed him in. "So what's this favor you wanted me to help you with?" Tony asked, stroking his hands through those lovely locks of hair.

Loki scooted back a bit to get a good view on Tony. "You're not going to like it."

Tony tensed a bit, holding his lover a little tighter. He had hated when Loki said stuff like this because he was generally right about it. "Okay, give it to me."

"I need to visit Odin and Frigga—"

It was barely out of Loki's mouth when Tony flew straight up to sit and look down at Loki. "What? That's a terrible idea!"

"I need to talk to them."

"You shouldn't have to see them ever again," Tony insisted. "They can fuck off!"

Loki slowly sat up to join Tony. "Hear me out," Loki said, pressing a cold hand to Tony's naked chest. "You know after the trial and after everything happened with my medical issues, I wasn't very lucid. You know that. But while you remember it all, I didn't get closure at all. I need to face Odin and Frigga in those jump suits. I want to be able to tell Odin what I think of him and to laugh in his face. I just…" he trailed off, looking at Tony with uncertainty.

Tony was conflicted. He really didn't want Loki to have to go through seeing his asshole parents again, but he also knew that Loki was right. When something this big happens in your life, surely you need some kind of verification that it's over forever. Breathing in deeply, he gave in, "Okay, Loks."

"Will it make you feel better if I tell you that I want you to be there the whole time?"

Loki's smile was endearing, spreading into his eyes. "Yes it does," Tony said.

What Tony doesn't expect was the way Loki launched himself onto Tony's lap, gathering Tony to him for a deep, passionate kiss. Tony laughed into Loki's lips and pulled away. "I didn't know that talking about your parents would get you so turned on."

Loki gave him a half smile. "Whatever, let's just go for round two."

"No objections," Tony said. Roughly, he lifted Loki up and fluidly onto his back in the bed. He hovered over him. "Safe word is daddy, okay?"

Loki kicked him. "Shut up!"

Tony grinned. Totally worth it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Amora wasn't answering his texts again, Loki noted miserably a few days later. He had called and texted her on several different occasions to let her know that he was leaving on Wednesday for where Odin and Frigga were held. And then after that he was going to New York City with Tony until they figured out what they were going to do with their living arrangements.

So it was now Wednesday and there hadn't yet been a single peep out of her. In fact, she hadn't showed up for work either. Loki wasn't even sure that she was scheduled for work or if she just showed up when she pleased, but surely she should have let Loki know. Speaking of things Loki didn't know about her, he also didn't know where she lived or where she went on most days.

Clearly he was a bad friend.

"She's still not answering?" Tony asked. He was holding the cat carrier with Sprinkles inside. Sprinkles glared and meowed at them grumpily.

"No," Loki said, snapping his phone shut. "I don't know what's going on with her." Loki had told Tony how she had shown up at work with a giant bruise a few days back and Loki was really proud of how Tony had responded to it. He had told Loki that she could come stay with them if she wanted to in New York if she needed to get out of any kind of situation. The pained look in Tony's eyes had told Loki that Tony was thinking back to Loki's own experience with abuse.

"She'll come around at some point," Tony assured him, "and then we can see what we can do to help her."

"Thanks," Loki said genuinely. He took the cat carrier from Tony. "Do we have everything?"

Tony counted off each item off on his hand, saying, "We have the cat, your luggage, my luggage, your medication… I made sure everything's locked and the oven's off. So I think we have everything."

Loki nodded. "And I think we've got everything set up for my treatments."

"I established a doctor for you in New York," Tony said, counting off on his fingers again. "You canceled your therapy appointment and rescheduled it with a professional in the city. Oh, and we also had your medications sent to a New York pharmacy. I'd say we're set."

Opening the front door, Loki led the way out, exclaiming, "Well let's visit a prison then!"

Tony shook his head. "Why would you yell that outside? Now the neighbors will think that we're lunatics."

Turning back towards Tony, Loki smirked at him. "I pretty sure our neighbors are well acquainted with our oddities."

Suddenly Loki's phone rang and Loki dug it out, passing the cat carrier back to Tony. "Hello?"

"Hey, Loki." It was Amora and she sounded okay.

Loki turned to Tony, breathing out a thick cloud in the cold winter air. "It's Amora!" he told him excitedly.

Tony frowned. "That's weird, I didn't hear your phone ring."

He shrugged. "You obviously have bad hearing."

"Loki," Amora called, turning Loki's attention back to his phone.

"Oh, sorry! Amora, how are you?"

"I'm fine," she said warmly. Loki hoped Amora was really okay. There was no way of telling for sure without seeing Amora in person, but it was a little too late for that. "I just wanted to wish you the best of luck on your trip."

"Thanks," Loki said. "But you know that you can visit me and Tony any time you want, okay? I sent you the address earlier."

She laughed softly. "If I overcome my fear of people, I will definitely visit you."

"You can come at any time with or without notice. We would be glad to have you."

"Thanks, Loki, but I think it will be okay," she said, sounding wistful. "Well, that's all I had to say, so I'm going to go."

"Okay," Loki replied. "Stay safe, okay?"

"I'll try my best! Bye!"

Loki said his goodbye as well and they both hung up. Sighing, Loki turned back to Tony, taking Sprinkles's carrier again into his position. "I'm glad I got to talk to her once before this all went down."

Tony nodded, looking at him with an unreadable expression. "Yeah, it's really good."

"Something wrong?" Loki asked, pausing to look at Tony closely.

He shook himself, snapping himself out of whatever thoughts he had been ensnared in. "Nope! Let's go to a prison!"

Loki laughed and got in the car just as Tony did the same.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If there was something Tony found slightly off was the fact that he hadn't heard Amora's ringtone at all when Amora had called earlier. But Tony let it slide. Maybe he was losing his hearing in his old age…

They were driving down a highway on their way to the prison and it was already growing dark outside. Loki had fallen asleep a while ago, resting his forehead against the glass. He also had Sprinkles out of the cage and resting on his lap. If Tony wasn't driving, he would have snapped a photo of the two.

Tony's own phone lit up, on vibrate, and he grabbed it from the cup holder and answered as quietly as he could, "Hello?"

"Anthony," Thor answered.

Tony glanced over at Loki again, taking in the still peaceful way Loki was sleeping. "Loki's sleeping," he said in an almost whisper.

"That is perfectly fine," Thor said. "I just wanted to check in and see how things were going with you two."

"Ah," Tony hesitated. "So we are heading to New York, just as Loki told you, but we are making a quick pit-stop at a prison holding your parents, just so you are aware."

Thor was quiet. "Was this Loki's idea?"

"Entirely," he replied, wanting Thor to know that he had no part in making this decision for Loki.

"What does he want with them?"

"To give them a piece of his mind and maybe tell Odin exactly where to shove it."

"That sounds like my brother," Thor said with an exasperated sigh. "Just take care of him, okay?"

"Yeah, I will," Tony said.

"I know that you won't hurt him again, but I really think you should watch him closely now. He's been by himself for two weeks. That could have impacted him negatively."

"Did you notice anything different about him? I noticed that he doesn't write in his notebook anymore…"

"He doesn't? Then he remembers quite a bit for not writing it down!" Thor exclaimed. There was an obvious proud tone in Thor's voice.

"Yeah, it seems that his memory is getting significantly better these days."

"I noticed that as well. We played some of those memory exercises that he's required to do and it took him very little time to finish. It's mostly just broader details that he struggles with…"

Tony hummed his agreement. "Then hopefully if I get him in with the best doctor in New York, then he can accelerate this improvement."

"We can only hope," Thor replied.

"Well, I should concentrate on driving," Tony said, switching on his headlights now that the sky had darkened to that point. "Probably going to stop soon for the night." The prison was on the way to New York, so they had decided to drive instead of fly. Tony didn't mind though, because it was just more private time he would get with Loks.

He hung up with Thor and kept driving silently into the night. He hoped that what Loki wanted to do here would turn out alright. There was nothing Tony wanted less than for Loki's nightmares of Odin to start up again.

Trying to be quiet, he turned on the radio so it was soft background noise. Loki, who was completely out, did not notice at all.

It wasn't until they slowed and bumped over the uneven parking lot of a motel that Loki finally groaned, shifting from his uncomfortable seat. Sprinkles also stretched. They looked like quite the pair.

"We stopping?" Loki asked, looking at Tony with those precious half asleep eyes.

"Yeah, I want to get you into a decent bed."

Loki lifted his heavy-lidded eyes to Tony. "I hope you mean to sleep."

"I'm not that much of a pervert!"

Loki glared at him pointedly, probably thinking of the many times Tony had tried to get him to do things when he was already asleep.

"Okay, fine, I'm a pervert! But that's not what I'm trying to do here."

Sprinkles meowed softly and Loki looked down at him lovingly. "Sprinkles will protect my virtue, won't you?"

"What virtue?" Tony laughed. His laughter increased tenfold when Loki shot him a glare that just looked like a very tired angry kitten. "Come on, let's get you into a bed, princess."

Later, with the room successfully rented for the night, Tony watched Loki sleep, amused that Loki had insisted that Sprinkles sleep with him to 'protect' him. What he had ended up with instead was a mouthful of cat tail. Sprinkles was stretched out across Loki's neck with back paws and tail nestled practically over Loki's entire mouth.

Tony snapped a quick picture.

He was just settling into bed when Loki's phone buzzed next to Tony's. He grabbed it to check if it was anything important. The screen automatically displayed the message.

Tony frowned at it for a moment. The contact was labeled as Amora but that was text pizza coupon from their local pizzeria back home…

Yawning, Tony put it back on the bedside table. Loki could be so scatterbrained in the past, but with his memory improving, he wondered why Loki hadn't noticed the weird labeling in his phone. He would have to mention it to Loki in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my NANOWRIMO goal is still on track! Thank you for everyone who had reviewed so far on these rapid fire chapters. It's really helping me maintain my enthusiasm this month.


	14. Eat Dicks

It wasn't until the next morning and they were almost ready to head out onto the road when Tony brought up the text. As he explained the situation to Loki, passing him the phone, Loki only looked at him with a frown.

"Did you look through my phone?"

"No, I don't your password," Tony said. He wanted to kick himself. He had basically just admitted that he would have invaded Loki's privacy if he had the chance.

Loki shook his head, smiling at Tony like he was like some kind of child. "At least you admit these things," Loki laughed. He looked down at the phone, unlocking it, and started to flip through it.

Tony continued to get all of their things together. He scooped grumpy Sprinkles back into the carrier with a ton of effort and told the cat plainly that he would let him loose again at the next motel. Just finishing up gathering a few things, Loki pocketed his phone with a wide grin.

"What is it?" Tony asked with a smile of his own.

"Amora sent me that coupon," he said. "We got pizza from there like three nights ago."

"So she was trying to bribe you into coming back?"

"Exactly," Loki nodded, taking Sprinkles's cage from the bed. "Ready to head out?"

Tony grabbed the rest of their bags. "Let's do this thing. Odin is going to be so frickin' surprised."

Loki nodded, looking a little excited and also a little nervous. Tony vowed to himself that he would do everything he could to make sure Loki didn't take anything Odin said to heart. He just knew that Odin would say horrible things, of course, and Frigga would try to appeal to the softer side of Loki. Well, they shouldn't even bother. They're sentenced to prison for the rest of their lives. So they could suck it.

"Nervous?" Tony asked, unlocking the car before they piled in.

"Nope," Loki said, releasing Sprinkles into the back seat, even though Tony had spent a good five minutes wrestling the cat into the cage. "Not nervous, just a little…" Loki trailed off, his words lost.

"It'll be fine," Tony said, closing the back passenger door and then going to his own door, scooting inside. "Besides, you'll have me there. It'll be okay."

Loki nodded, brightening. "No matter what they say to me," he said, "I'm not going to let them have the last word."

"That's the spirit!" Tony cried. He backed out of the parking spot. "Give it to them like they deserve. We can tag team it if you want. I also have a few choice words to give them if you are cool with that."

"Oh yeah, you can say whatever you want. We just have to keep it kind of mellow so we don't get kicked out before we finish."

Tony nodded. "I'll do my best on keeping my threats mild."

"No threats," Loki said, wagging a finger at him with mock seriousness.

"Fine. But can I at least tell Odin that he can eat dick?"

"You _have_ to do that. I won't love you if you don't."

Tony laughed, merging onto the highway. "Okay, I will. Only because you insisted." 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When they arrived at the prison, Loki felt himself jittering out of his skin. What he wanted to say was running rapidly through his mind because he didn't want to forget a single point when he faced his parents.

He and Tony had already dropped off their things at a nearby motel, along with Sprinkles. The poor cat had meowed pitifully when they left the cat by himself, but he was going to have to deal with it for the short amount of time that they would be away.

So driving into a prison's visitor parking was kind of a surreal experience, Loki noted. This prison was exceptionally large and the two sections of males and females was well separated, making the place look huge.

Loki swallowed thickly before getting out of the car when they were fully at a stop. His skin kind of itched in a paranoid way and his throat was drying with nagging fear. Tony appeared in front of him, though, and just having Tony so close to him eased his mind.

"You really want to do this, Loks?" Tony asked, pausing in snowy asphalt.

"Yeah," Loki said. He ripped off his gloves, hat, and scarf and threw it all back into the car. This way he would just be wearing a jacket and not anything that Odin could make fun of him for. After all, Odin would be the type to say that men don't wear silly colored winter wear. "Let's do this."

Tony had adopted a frown when Loki had shed his extra garments, but he said nothing. So he led the way into the prison front.

Inside, they went through a few rounds of security. Scanned, patted down, and searched before they could step any further inside. Passing with flying colors, they were led into a room that Loki had only seen on TV. Rows of stalls with phones to talk with your visitor through the window pane. The room was soft murmuring from the rows of people.

This section of the prison was shared by both the woman's and men's sides of the prison. First, they were going to bring in Frigga, then Odin. Loki figured that after he saw Odin that he would want to leave immediately.

Loki went to the window and sat down in the single chair in front of it. Tony stood beside him, leaning up against the narrow edge of the stall. With him standing like that, Loki felt like Tony was his own personal body guard. It was a thought Loki took comfort in.

They waited just a few minutes and Loki took stock of the area around them. The prison room was drab and desperately boring to look at. The walls were a dull gray. The chairs and the surfaces for the stalls were all metal, shiny and cold.

It was a place that truly ran a disturbed shiver down Loki's spine.

Finally the door buzzed on the far side of the room, unlocking as they brought in a new prisoner. Loki stared in plain disbelief. He had seen Frigga in the signature orange jump suit for the trial and in the news, but it was different seeing her now in real time when Loki had complete clarity.

Frigga's golden blonde hair was disheveled, nothing like the neat buns and half-do she used to perfect in the past. But somehow, the woman still managed to pull the jump suit off and she made the hideous outfit look regal.

She smiled as soon as she spotted Loki sitting and waiting for her. Sitting down gingerly, she took the phone from the hinge, prompting Loki to do the same. "Loki, you came!" she exclaimed, acting as if she had just been away for vacation or something. Frigga must be truly crazy, Loki concluded, with the completely comfortable and motherly way she leaned forward to get a good look at him. "I missed you."

Loki felt his stomach drop out underneath him as he looked at her beautiful face. This was a woman who had loved him so much over the years but still had the audacity to try to drown him. It was confusing to look at her pleading eyes.

"Well, are you going to say hello to your mother?" she asked.

Tony nudged him, making Loki realize that he had been staring at her. "You tried to drown me," Loki said. It was the first thing that had come to mind. After all, Frigga wasn't the one he had planned out a speech for. Honestly, he pitied the woman for what she had become. That was the extent of his relationship with her.

Her smile faltered but she forced it back into place. "I know what sins I have committed, Loki, but I will never be able to atone for them nor will I apologize for them. I would steal you over again. But I know now that what happened in the bathroom… I realize what I have done. Let's just leave it at that."

The clear but irrational way she spoke to him took Loki by surprise, but that was fine. He didn't really want to talk about that day with her either. He had one purpose today and one alone. It was to tell Odin exactly what he thought of him. Just as Amora had gotten that last punch in against her ex, he needed to get the last stabbing word in against Odin.

Loki sighed and glanced warily at Tony. Tony looked as troubled as him.

"You two look absolutely adorable together," she said warmly, leaning on a hand to look at them fondly, holding the phone delicately in her other hand. "Are you getting married yet?"

Loki practically fell out of his chair with the sudden change of the topic. Tony snatched the phone out of Loki's hand to say to her with a grin, "Oh I plan on proposing to this cutie the next time I get him drunk. That way I know he won't say no."

Loki grabbed the phone back. "He's lying."

"I'm not," Tony said loudly over Loki's shoulder, chuckling to himself. It was obvious that Tony was glad for the change in subject. He was probably feeling uncomfortable with the mention of that day that haunted all three of them. That was the day Loki had almost died, and Loki couldn't even imagine being in Tony's shoes.

Loki decided to go along with the lighthearted topics and he started to tell Frigga about different things going on his life. He got carried away telling her about his job at the bookstore, their cat Sprinkles, his new friend Amora, and Tony taking over the company. Loki also told her sad things like about Howard's death and Loki's blood clot in his brain. Frigga soaked in each detail like a true mother would, asking questions and taking complete interest, hanging on to every word.

It was almost sickening to do even admit this to himself, but for a moment Loki felt like he had his mother back. Was that horrible? It probably was. But if he imagined away the jump suit and recreated their breakfast table in front of them, it was exactly like old times. Frigga had always applied profound attention whenever she had listened to Loki babble away about his day.

After telling Frigga yet another story, he trailed off as he came to finally realize that he was telling his murderous mother happy little details about his life. She shouldn't have the luxury of knowing these things about him; he should be leaving her to suffer. But he couldn't help it. She used to be his mom, you know?

The happy feeling was dying and suddenly Loki felt sick just from looking at her face. He needed her to leave.

Tony, either sensing it or seeing the discomfort on his face, leaned over and took the phone from Loki. "Well, Frigga. That was a nice chat but we really do need to get going now."

Loki was grateful that Tony hadn't mentioned Odin. He didn't want to hear what she had to say about her beloved husband.

He took the phone back after Tony said his goodbye. She smiled at him sadly. "Goodbye, my precious child," she said. Frigga pressed her fingers against the glass and the words she said next would forever haunt him. "I wish I could've brought you with me. You and I would have been perfectly happy if it were just us forever. I could have taken your body with me somewhere safe if I had just gone through with it." She looked absolutely delighted by the prospect and continued to mumble to herself with the opportunities she had missed of taking Loki's life.

Where had the repenting side of Frigga gone?

Shaking and no longer able to take Frigga's words anymore, he hastily said, "Goodbye Frigga."

She smiled in response. "You should visit me more often."

"Yeah, sure," he told her. But this would be the last time he would visit her, he could be sure of that.

They took her away and she had waved the whole time. Loki wanted to cry.

Tony whistled, eyes wide. "Wow that was a painful experience."

"Yeah, hearing her talking about how she wished she murdered kind of killed the mood."

Tony nodded and didn't say anymore. Besides, there wasn't any time for it anyway. They were already buzzing the door again and in waltzed Odin and Loki was cruelly unprepared to face the old man.

Rapidly, Loki blinked to push back the threatening tears from Frigga's visit. Odin sat down, glaring down at Loki as if he were trash. Beside Loki, Tony tensed.

Loki and Odin both picked up the phone as they had a showdown of staring at each other threateningly. "Still a crybaby, I see" Odin said, looking him up and down distastefully. His gaze switched to Tony. "And still with the degenerate."

Loki's being burned with hatred. No one should ever talk about Tony like that. "We're going to make this quick, asshole. I just came to finally put this whole fucking thing to rest, got that?"

"And what's that?" Odin said with a smile, looking at Loki like he found his efforts akin to a puppy chasing his tail.

Taking a deep breath, Loki held the eye contact, refusing to back down. "I beat you, you know that?"

Odin rolled his eyes. "Whatever you want to comfort yourself with."

Loki smiled cruelly at him. "You tried to strip me of everything that I was. You bullied me, beat me, and came very close to killing me…"

The fucker looked proud with every word Loki said.

"But now you have to spend the next fifty or how every many years it will take you to die in this place. Think of how many miserable seconds that you will sit alone in your cell. I want you to think about what you did to me for every second of your pathetic life."

Odin's face had gone cold. "I can guarantee that I will do the exact opposite."

"No, you will," Loki spat at him. "You will have to live with what you done forever. Meanwhile the rest of us are going to be fan-fucking-tastic. Thor is halfway through college and he's tearing up your house and making it his own, and you will never see any of it. You will never see him marry Jane or the children they will have together. But just think of how happy we will be without you in our life. You have terrorized us for the last time. I won't have to hope for you to burn in hell because I am absolutely sure that you will. Fuck you, Odin."

Odin had grown red in the face and he looked like he was going to yell back but then Tony grabbed the phone. "Eat dicks, Odin!"

Surprised laughter consumed Loki, and he pulled Tony into quick kiss to show his appreciation. When they were done, he removed the phone from Tony's hand to bring it to his ear one last time. "This is the last time you will ever see us," Loki told him, looking him right in the eyes again. "But I hope you think of those you terrorized for the rest of your life. Have a great life and eat dicks." He hung up the phone and stood in what felt like a daze.

Tony slipped his hand into Loki's and Loki squeezed it before pulling them away. He didn't want to look at Odin another second. It was done. It was over.

Loki could finally breathe freely.


	15. Phantom

They arrived in New York the following day. Tony still had his master quite rented out at one of the most exclusive hotels in the city. But even with all that luxury, Tony still wished he had something even more amazing for Loki to enjoy because that look of awe on his face was just priceless. Loki looked so easily amazed by something Tony had come to take for granted.

Loki opened Sprinkles's cage on the floor and the cat sprinted out, wanting nothing to do with the cage anymore after the long travel to New York. Tony narrowed his eyes at the cat as it hopped up on the shiny counters. He could have sworn that they had trained the cat back home to not even dare to go on the counters or tables. "Has he always been doing that?" Tony asked, turning to Loki.

He was already sitting on the couch, lounging, still look around with that astonished expression. "Oh yeah, while you were gone I kind of gave up on disciplining him."

Tony's heart clenched. He didn't like the thought of Loki giving up on anything because of him. Turning his attention away from his lover, he went to the cat and shooed him off. "We'll have to get him retrained."

Loki groaned. "Just let him do what he wants. He's a good cat and I'm really too lazy to train him. He's not very obedient." Sprinkles, as if sensing the mention of his name, came to sit by Loki. "But he is loyal," Loki said fondly, reaching out to pet the fluffy fur.

Tony didn't comment on that but came to sit across from Loki. "So what do you plan on doing here without me tomorrow?" He had to get back to work as soon as possible but the thought of Loki staying alone in this hotel room made Tony want to chain Loki to a chair in his office. He supposed that he was getting a little too protective of his boyfriend. Nonetheless, he suggested, "You could come to the office with me. You could hang out with Obadiah and help him out, since Pepper's not here until the weekend. I'll even arrange for you to be paid if you want to."

Loki shook his head stubbornly. "Nope, no way. I'm in New York City and I'm going to explore. I've barely seen anything in this city you know."

"Well I could always show you around in the evening."

"I want to see everything now," Loki said passionately. Now that was something Tony couldn't argue with. When Loki got that excited grin on his adorable little face, Tony only wanted to squish him and give him everything he wanted in the world.

Tony crossed his arms, throwing his feet up on the coffee table. "Fine, but you have to call me every hour so that I know you're safe."

"I will do no such thing," Loki said, looking down at Sprinkles as he pet him. "I will be just fine. In fact, you could probably follow the whole adventure online or something."

What Loki was referring to was the outrageous amount of reporters who had followed him and Tony around when they had just arrived in New York. They probably took hundreds of pictures and the whole time they were yelling to have Tony explain his 'affair' with the girl from the nightclub while simultaneously asking Loki if he would dump Tony for straying. Tony could definitely tell that the mention of Tony's little tryst had Loki on edge.

"See? That's why I don't want you to go out," Tony reasoned. "You're going to get mauled."

"They can take a picture of me going into stores and walking down the street if they want to," Loki said with an eye roll.

Loki had a point there. "Well either way, call me once and a while, especially if there's trouble. Or at least text me. I won't be able to work properly if I'm worrying about you."

The cat meowed at Tony and Loki pet the cat with a smug grin. "Even Sprinkles thinks you're worrying too much."

Tony glared at the cat, trying to keep himself from laughing. "Well you tell Sprinkles," he said, wagging a finger at him, "that he can shove it. He honestly needs to stop sticking his nose in our business."

Loki gasped dramatically and picked Sprinkles up and cuddled him to him. "Don't you talk to Sprinkles that way! He does not appreciate that one bit."

"He's going to smother me in my sleep, isn't he?"

"He's going to lay his furry body right on top your face and take your life silently," Loki said, shaking Sprinkle's paw in the air like a revengeful villain.

"You are cute, Loki."

Loki scoffed. "I am far from it, so I really don't know why you keep saying that."

"Well then you are obviously unaware," Tony told him. He stood, stretching and letting his shirt ride up to expose a thin line of skin. He smirked as Loki looked down at his hips and up again, flushing a bit. Tony stopped stretching to gesture to Loki to follow him. "Now be a dear and follow me, would ya?"

Passing Sprinkles off to the side of the couch, Loki did his own stretch. "What do you want?"

"We have some setting up to do in the bedroom—"

"You just want to get into my pants," Loki said, following Tony anyway.

Tony opened the door and gestured for Loki to go in first. "Yes, actually. You caught me." He stared at Loki's supple ass as he passed Tony where he was standing, holding the door open.

"Don't worry, Stark. I will cooperate, but I have conditions this time."

"What kind of conditions?" Tony asked, following Loki inside and closing the door.

Loki pressed up against Tony, feeling each other's arousal, and leaned into Tony's ear. He whispered secrets into Tony's ear that were so dirty that Tony was even blushing. "Holy crap, Loks. What are we still doing with clothes on?!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After getting dressed and well-groomed the next day, Loki finally felt able enough to leave the hotel by himself. Tony had already left some hours ago to head to the Stark Tower to work on important matters but Loki had taken his sweet time rolling out of bed and deciding when to leave the safety of his privacy.

Today he had tried his best to look stylish. He was wearing a snug pair of jeans with a plain green t-shirt, and over it he wore a black leather jacket that completed the look while still being functional and warm.

He took one last look at himself in the mirror and asked his cat, "Does this look decent, Sprinkles?"

The cat only flicked his tail impatiently and ignored him in favor of sleeping on the bed. "Useless feline," Loki said.

He left the hotel and put his hands in his jacket pocket to stay warm in the New York weather and stopped short of leaving the hotel doors. Outside were dozens of reporters, all who looked extremely cold, and they were waiting for him. Well, here goes nothing…

Stepping out into the mass of people, the blinding camera flashes started up immediately and a surge of voice asking questions started up. Loki blinked at them in a daze, catching questions about his relationship with Tony and the whorish girl and the nature of Stark Industries. Loki huffed, already annoyed that they were going to follow him around the whole time. So why not throw them a bone?

"Tony and I aren't breaking up," he said loudly. A hush went across the crowd to catch Loki's every word on their recording devices. "Tony made a mistake, yes, but he already did everything to make it up to me and prove to me know that he loves me. Write this down okay? Write down that my relationship with Tony is strong and there's no way we'll be separating over something so sad and pathetic like that. Did you need me to repeat that?"

The crowd paid no mind to answering his question but instead bombarded him with a new round of questions. So, at his wit's end, Loki stalked off without another word and led what felt like his own minion army down the windy, snow-covered New York streets.

Pretending that they weren't there behind him, Loki looked around at the towering buildings as he walked to the subway. It was brilliant to see such amazing architecture all in a central location. Loki didn't even mind the trash/cigarette/sewage smell that sometimes lingered in the New York Streets. In fact, he didn't even care that his feet were getting soaked from trudging through slushy street corners.

New York was pretty amazing, he decided. There were bright lights everywhere, even in the day time, and there were wide varieties of unique people all over. He supposed that someone could never really get bored living in a place like this.

As he walked and walked, he noticed that the paparazzi crowd was slowly thinning. Especially as he made his way down the steps into a subway, a good portion of the followers left to do better things with their day. He took extra time buying a metro card and then slipped onto the boarding platform just as the next car pulled in to the station.

Loki loved subways systems actually. Not many people said that, but Loki liked to people watch and he liked to see the other subway platforms rush past and Loki relished in the way the recorded announcer said, 'Stand clear of the closing doors, please.' He really didn't know why he got excited about public transportation that residents took daily, but he supposed that was due to his small-town upbringing being so different than a place like this.

Losing the rest of the reporters in the subway system, Loki finally arrived at his destination: Central Park. This park was huge and a pain to walk through if you weren't prepared to journey its insane length. That's why Loki had planned out where he wanted to go. He wanted to be near the science museum, because he was nerdy and really wanted to go there that day.

As Loki trudged through the cold open sidewalks, just taking in the magical fact that he was in the middle of New York, one of the liveliest cities in the country. The park was quiet, though. Around him were groups of people flocking up and down the snowy paths, but it was almost hushed. The honking and loud bustling was at a minimal in this area.

As he walked, he tried to determine if the bridge he passed was the one from that _Home Alone 2_ movie… At least, Loki thought it was the second one. Staring at one bridge in particular, he still couldn't be sure. So he snapped a picture to show Tony later.

He was just putting the phone back in his pocket and was starting to walk even farther to the Science museum, but he paused when he got a text. Loki opened it and frowned. It was from Amora and it read: Nice Jacket.

Loki stopped in his tracks and stepped to the edge of the path to let the people flow around him. He took a moment to look around at the people passing, studying them. Was Amora here in the crowd or were his pictures already up on the web?

The people around him were dressed more snugly for the weather than Loki and it was hard to see some of their faces, but nonetheless, Loki didn't find anyone that looked remotely like his friend. He turned back to his phone and decided to call her instead of wasting time on texting.

"Hey Loki," Amora greeted after only one ring.

Loki blew some hot air into his exposed fingers. He'd forgotten to wear gloves. "So how do you know about my jacket?"

"Online. Your picture was on my email homepage. _Loki back in the picture_ is what your relationship is titled today."

Loki huffed, not wanting to hear about some stupid articles. There was once a time when Loki had read any article he saw featuring Tony and him, but the more he had read them, the more he felt depressed about life. "You should ignore those articles like a good friend," Loki urged.

"Nuh-uh, I need to keep track of your life somehow," she said.

"You could just call me, you know."

"But I don't get to see your awesome outfits over a phone call."

Loki rubbed a hand along his hair line. "Fine. I can send you pictures of me every day too. Would that work?"

"Not even close."

Loki caught a glint of golden hair in the corner of his eye and he did a double take. There was a girl walking away from him, with a phone to her ear, and she looked like Amora from the back. "Are you in New York?"

"No, why would I be?" she asked.

"Because I think I'm looking at your doppelganger."

She laughed and Loki laughed as he watched the girl, who was further away, shake as she was laughing too. "Get some rest okay, because you need it."

"Wait, Amora—"

She hung up though and the girl walking away hung up too. No way. That was her, it had to be. What was she doing in New York? Was she stalking him?

Loki shoved his phone into his pocket and went into a slow jog to catch up to her, taking extra care not to slip on the snow built up beneath his feet. "Amora!" he called. The girl didn't turn but other people did. They looked at him funny as he weaved his way through the pedestrians to get to her. "Amora, wait!"

She continued walking away from him like she hadn't heard him or was simply ignoring him. Loki couldn't fathom why she would be here but not try to approach him.

He finally caught up to her, breathing heavy, and he said, "Amora, what are you—" He had grabbed her shoulder and turn her around.

That wasn't Amora.

That wasn't her at all. This girl had short brown hair and dark brown eyes, dark skin. Loki, in shock, yanked his arm away from her, open mouthed. "I'm sorry. Wrong person."

The girl blinked at Loki in confusion but nodded. "It's okay," she said. She left, leaving Loki to stand there, a fool. He could have sworn that it was Amora. Did she not have long blonde hair?

Confusion didn't even begin to describe what Loki was feeling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few days went by and Tony was still busy as ever. Not to mention, he and Pepper still had not made any progress on Howard's death. He had tried to grill Obadiah subtly but the man was either telling the truth, that he knew nothing and wasn't involved, or he was an incredible liar. Obadiah was nowhere near Howard during the incident and the employees in the building readily vouched on his whereabouts on that date. Howard had been in office, working with a client on a new contract.

Other methods he and Pepper had tried had also failed. He had tried to scan the Starks Industries files to find any evidence that Obadiah had planned something or that he had any correspondence with anyone who had any knowledge of the incident. Obadiah was looking more and more innocent by the day. Soon they would have to go back to the drawing board.

A loud sigh knocked Tony out of his thoughts, and he looked up from Howard's report files to look at Loki across the room. Loki was lying on the couch in the middle of their suite with legs propped wildly over the back of the couch and he was holding his phone straight over his face, frowning.

That was another thing Tony was worried about. It had been three days since they had come to New York and Tony had noticed Loki slowly slipping into something he couldn't figure out. It could be that Loki was simply bored and needed to do something, or maybe Loki was growing impatient with Tony always being at work. It was hard to say. But he did know that Loki was often staring at his phone like it was a puzzle.

"What's up, Loks?" Tony asked, responding to Loki's sigh.

Loki looked at him from his upside down vantage point, lowering his phone to his chest. "Trying to figure out why Amora isn't answering me. We talked two days ago…" He trailed off, looking off to the edge of the ceiling at he recalled the conversation. "I swore I saw someone that looked exactly like her, but I was dead wrong."

Tony nodded. "There's a lot of people in this city, there's bound to be some lookalikes."

He looked unconvinced but Loki said nothing, just looking back at his phone. Tony watched him worriedly, becoming very aware of how much time Loki was starting to shut himself away in their apartment, staring at his phone. Perhaps it was time to set up his counseling sessions and maybe send him to the doctor once. He was growing uneasy with the amount of Loki was spending alone. Who knows what Loki was failing to report to him?

Not wanting to bring it up right then, he instead suggested, "We should go to a club tomorrow."

Loki looked at him again with a splitting smile that seemed to light up the room. "Can we?"

Tony fidgeted, snapping his folders shut to give Loki his full attention. Maybe Tony working all the time was the issue. Maybe that's why Loki looked so forlorn these past few days.

"Yeah," Tony assured him. "Just the two of us."

"The two of us and a whole crowd."

"Who will be jealous of how good we look together on the dance floor," Tony added.

Tony's phone then lit up, vibrating across the bar counter that he sat at. It was Pepper. Tony glanced at Loki, but he'd already gone back to studying his phone, so Tony picked it up, answering, "I hope this important."

"Tony, I have a lead," Pepper said in a rush. "You need to get over here right now."

"On the accident?"

"Yes what else would I be talking about?"

Tony felt his stomach drop out beneath him as he thought of the many different things that she could have found. He nodded to himself, convincing himself to calm. "I can be there in ten."

"Good," Pepper said. "But just so you know, you probably won't like it."

"You can't tell me things like this over the phone," Tony scolded her, his heart sinking. He gathered the files. "Is it the kind I won't like because it's—"

"Just get here," she said. "I will explain when you get here."

With the folders stacked under one arm, Tony hung up and pocketed his phone with the other. He spun on his heel only to find Loki standing there, watching him warily. "Was that about Howard?"

Tony nodded. "Pepper found something."

"I'll come too."

Again, Tony nodded, gesturing to the bedroom. "Grab your jacket and stuff. It's cold as fuck out."

"Okay, I'll grab yours too," Loki said, eyes scanning Tony disapprovingly. Tony had fully intended on going out in the cold in just a t-shirt.

Who could blame him though? He needed to know what had happened to his father.


	16. Case Closed

Tony burst into his office, followed by Loki, and found Pepper waiting for him, standing by his desk with the same three folders in her hand. Her expression was one that did not bode well with Tony; it was of apprehension. She turned her body in their direction as they entered and swept her long hair over her should and out of her way.

Loki clicked the door quietly shut while Tony marched in a wide stride over to her, looking at her expectantly. "Why did you find out?" he asked quietly, his eyes darting over to the door that Loki had just closed. They had seen others in the hallways but not Obadiah or his assistants, so he believed they would be safe to discuss this here, in case it did turn out to be Obadiah's doing.

"Like I said, you are not going to like it," Pepper told him, wary.

Tony flopped down into his chair behind the desk, pressing a hand to his temple in exasperation. "Is it something I want to know?"

Pepper pressed her lips together. "It will put your mind at ease, at the least."

"Put my mind at ease? My father is dead and I'm pretty sure someone killed him." He paused and sought out Loki who had drifted away from them and was looking out the window. He was trying to give them privacy but he was listening nonetheless.

"Then you are really not going to like what I'm going to say," Pepper said, setting all three files down on the desk.

"What? You said you had a lead. So if what you're getting at is that Obadiah is not responsible, then you must've found more information to find out who it actually was."

"The death was an accident," she said loudly.

Tony looked at her in exasperation. "You believe that?"

"I do," she replied, pushing the files closer to him. "If you just look at these—"

"Just tell me," Tony demanded, pushing the files back to her. "Just tell me why you think my father wasn't murdered."

"Nothing adds up to him being murdered," Pepper said. "What purpose could they have had? The company has been passed onto you and nothing else has changed. No one is benefiting any different from your father passing on, not even Obadiah." Her tone was leveled and forced.

Tony stood and leaned over the desk, pressing his hands against the surface firmly. Loki looked over at them with Tony's movement. "But what about all of those things we noted last time? The angle of the car crash and the side my father was sitting in the limo?"

Pepper picked up a file and pulled out a stack of photos. "Take a look at these."

She passed the photos to him and Tony looked at the top picture. It was of Howard sitting on the left side of the limo with Tony on the right. The next one showed Howard by himself in the limo, sitting on the right. The one after that was a picture of him and Tony's mother that he could hardly remember. Howard again sat on the right. Tony looked through the rest and began to realize that this little thing he'd thought he knew about his father was wrong. Howard always sat on the right side of the limo and only sat on the left when Tony was in the car. So of course he was the impacted side of the limo in the accident.

Tony blinked a few times, trying to take in this new bit of information. "And what about the way the limo hit?"

Her expression was grim. "He wasn't wearing a seat belt," she said simply.

"And?"

"The driver hit them going fifty. Of course Howard didn't exactly stay in one place. They told you that your father died of blunt force trauma, and it's true. I've had this information looked at with dozens of investigators. I had the body looked at again. I even had Obadiah thoroughly inspected. Obadiah even found out and cooperated with our investigation! There's nothing, Tony. There's nowhere left to look."

Tony felt the numbness of his father's loss hanging over him but he glanced over at Loki, trying to keep it under control. Loki met his stare, worried. The pressure of the realization built and he finally pried his gaze back onto Pepper. "There's nothing?" his voice came out strangled, riddled with defeat.

"Nothing," she whispered.

It was too much. The hope of taking revenge on his father's killer was squashed in an instant. There wasn't a killer, there was no one left to blame except a dumb drunk guy.

Tony growled out angrily, kicking his chair aside and immediately stalked out of the room. Someone moved to follow him, but he slammed the door behind him, hoping they would not follow.

He took the stairs instead of the elevator and ran down the stairs, tripping with how quickly he descended. He grit his teeth together, choking back the pain. Why did it feel like Howard had died all over again?

Ignoring everyone on the way out of the building, Tony took to the dark streets, walking with the pain still filling him. He just needed some time alone and everything would be okay. He wasn't going to let it consume him this time.

"Tony!" Loki shouted from behind him.

Tony didn't look back but stopped, waiting for Loki to catch up to him. When he did, Loki crashed into his back, holding Tony in a tight hug from behind, nuzzling his face into Tony's neck. "I'm so sorry, Tony," he said, hushed against Tony's flesh.

Turning, Tony pulled away from Loki but pressed a hand against his cheek. "I'll be okay. I just need some time alone, okay?" Tony said, his voice still dangerously tight. His anger had built and even his fingers pressed to Loki's face were shaking with it. He took his hand away.

Loki caught Tony's jacket as he tried to move away. "Let me come with you."

Tony threw his arm away from Loki. "Just go home! It's not like I'm going to fuck anyone while I'm away."

He instantly regretted his words. Loki's face shuttered from shock to anger to resignation. But before either of them could say anything, a red-headed girl pushed between them, walking rapidly. Tony was going to ignore that, because New York City streets were busy and there were constantly people pushing people as they walked, but Loki did a double take after her, his face morphing in shock.

"Amora?" he called after her. She had disappeared into the crowd.

"Amora? That was her?" Tony asked, trying to see where the girl had gone. He had no idea what Amora looked like; he'd never asked.

"What is she doing here?" Loki said, looking like he saw a ghost.

"Well, why didn't she say hello? She just walked right—Loki!" Tony was cut off by Loki darting into the crowd after her, leaving Tony behind without another word.

What the Hell was going on? Just watching Loki race after her pissed Tony off even more, even more than he was already. "Dammit, Loki," he murmured and he took off after Loki into the busy crowd.

It was hard to keep track of Loki. They were so close to Time's Square, so the streets were insanely busy, but Tony wondered how Loki even knew where he was going. He couldn't see the red-headed girl anywhere, even with the bright lights glaring down on them.

"Loki! Slow the fuck down!" he shouted over the crowd.

Loki, of course, did not hear him. Tony fought his way through a few more people and then found the clear opening of the pavement. He shot towards Loki, trying to catch him. "Loks, hold on a second!"

Halting suddenly, Loki swung towards him, his hair flying in all directions as he turned his head sharply to look at Tony. His eyes were terrified. "Did you see her?" he said. "Her face?"

Tony gaped at him, open mouthed. Loki looked he was going to have a breakdown.

"Her face was a mess! Didn't you see?" Loki asked him, desperate.

"I didn't get a good look," he said, grabbing onto Loki's shoulder. He needed to calm Loki down. "Breathe, breathe. Loki, breathe."

Loki gasped for air, tangling his fingers into Tony's jacket. "It was all bruised and messed up like when Odin—When Odin—"

Tony pulled Loki to his chest, burying him in his embrace. Loki didn't cry but he breathed hard, still terrified. "Don't worry," Tony said, pressing a kiss to his temple. "We'll find her and take care of her, okay?"

Loki nodded against his neck. "She looked bad, Tony."

"We'll find her," he repeated.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony had called a cab for them and they were on their way back to the hotel. Not that Loki really noticed. He couldn't get Amora's face out of his mind. There were these dark purple bruises on her cheeks, even more so than the last time he had saw her at the bookstore. Her blonde hair had looked straggly and unruly. And what was with the apron? Why was she still wearing her apron? Even the green thing had been splattered with bits of blood.

He stared at his phone, willing it to ring. He'd texted her at least 17 times and called another 2 times. He was worried.

Looking over at Tony, Loki stilled. Tony was looking at the window on his side of the car, looking far away.

Loki scooted across the distance and leaned his head onto Tony's shoulder. Tony got the idea immediately and pulled Loki closer, resting his own head against Loki's. "We'll find her," Tony said. "I'll call some people to look for her as soon as we get back to the hotel." His words were gentle.

Loki didn't respond that, feeling a little hazy. Instead he said, "I'm sorry about your Dad."

"Me too," Tony said.

"We have to find her," Loki going back to the problem on hand. His mind was racing in circles. What was Amora doing here? What happened to her? Why didn't she actually pick up the phone?

Suddenly Loki blinked and found himself in the middle of a club, pulsing and moving. Amora was there too. She was on the far side of the club across the dance floor and she was being yelled at but a guy that was big and bulging, but Loki couldn't see their faces it was dark. But it was Amora and she was in trouble.

Blinking again, Loki looked around the cab, disoriented, moving away from Tony. Amora, she was in trouble! "Stop the car!" Loki shouted and he was already struggling to open the door.

The driver slammed on the breaks and shouted at Loki but Loki didn't give a damn. He shoved the door the rest of the way, sticking a bit out into the other lane. "Loki!" Tony yelled, grabbing onto Loki before he could jump out while the car was still in motion. His eyes were wild with fear but it was nothing in comparison to the rapid jumping of Loki's heart. "What's happening?"

"It's Amora! She's in trouble!" The car was at a dead stop.

"Where are you going?" Tony held on tighter.

Loki fought to get out of his grip. They were wasting time! "She's at the club! She's there."

"How do you know?"

"She told me!"

"When? I've been here with you the hold time!"

Loki fought against Tony again. "She told me!" he repeated. Finally, he was free and he shot away from the car, right into oncoming traffic. Lights everywhere. Where was he? Horns blaring.

"LOKI!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I failed this Nanowrimo. Curse my laziness!


	17. Not Real

Tony's scream echoed into Loki's bones and it was all that caused Loki to throw himself backwards, flat against the car to narrowly miss being crashed into by a car. What had nearly happened barely registered with Loki. He couldn't even begin to think about it; he had to get to Amora.

His heart hammered with adrenaline and he quickly gauged a space in the traffic and pushed himself away from the car, ignoring Tony as he continued to yell Loki's name. Darting across the wide lanes, cars honking and blaring, Loki threw himself over the curb and down the street, pushing through the crowds. He had to get to the club.

He didn't even know where he was going until he was in front of it, the same club where Tony had been with that… woman. Loki froze, staring at it, suddenly wondering if Amora really could be inside that club. His whole body was screaming for him to go in and to save her but he was still frozen across the street, staring with wide eyes.

His mind was starting to catch up with him. How did he know that Amora was in there? When did he get that information?

 _She texted you,_ his mind supplied.

Oh. That's how. He threw away the useless line of thought and started walking across the busy road, dodging cars to get to the club doors. The outside of the building was brightly lit and the sidewalk was filled with a rather long line to get in. The pulsing beat of the music inside shook the very air that Loki breathed.

Loki marched right up to the bouncer. "I need to get inside right now."

"Back of the line," the guy said, not giving Loki even a second glance.

Loki moved into his eye line. "Someone is in trouble. I need to get in there."

"Look, kid—"

"He's with me," Tony's voice interrupted, breathing hard. Loki looked to his right to find a wind-blown and red-faced Tony just behind him. Tony smiled briefly at the bouncer but then turned a questioning and worried expression onto Loki.

The bouncer laughed. "Tony Stark! Good to see you! Back for more?"

Loki felt anger building in the base of his stomach and he turned away, hating everything for the jealously curling his chest. Abruptly, he gasped, just catching the back of Amora's blonde hair as she disappeared into the club. "Can we go in?" Loki asked the bouncer shortly.

He nodded, stepped aside for Loki. The man turned to exchange a few words with Tony but Loki ignored them both, slipping inside discreetly. The club was almost completely dark. The only light that were illuminated in the club were from the glow sticks everyone sported and from the fake candles on each table. Loki squinted into the darkness, trying to figure out where Amora could have gone.

"Can't see a thing," Tony's voice came from somewhere close by. His hand closed around Loki's elbow. "The bouncer said it's a black out tonight."

"We need to find Amora," Loki huffed, trying to pull away.

Tony didn't let him, just holding on harder, keeping Loki in place with his heavy grip. "Let me help you. What does she look like?"

Loki breathed in unevenly, not wanting to waste time like this but he could use the help. "Blonde and she's taller than me…"

"Wait," Tony interrupted. "Blonde hair?"

"Yeah," Loki replied impatiently. "Like Thor's."

"But that girl we saw earlier, she had red hair."

"Tony, we don't have time for this," Loki growled. He started to pull Tony away from the entrance but Tony again yanked him back but to the side of the door where it was more private to talk.

"Seriously, Loks. Something isn't adding up here."

"Tony—"

"No, Loks. Answer me, how do you know that Amora is here?"

Loki frowned at Tony's dark shape. He was almost invisible in the darkness but he could still make out Tony's strong jaw. "She texted me."

"Let me see," Tony said.

Sighing, Loki deflected, "I'm going to find Amora."

"Loki!" Tony tried to grab onto Loki's arm again to restrain him but Loki managed to evade him, slipping into the darkness.

Eventually, Loki found himself on the dance floor, slowly making his way completely blind through the gyrating thick crowd. His mind felt dense and hazy and muddled and he looked around, wondering how much time had passed and how he had even gotten to this point.

Loki was beginning to want to go back to Tony and go home because his head _hurt_ and he just wanted it to go away… But then…

He made eye contact with this guy over the crowd who was just standing there, not stirring, and just watching Loki through all these moving people. Loki mirrored him, standing still, trying with all his might not to be pushed over. The look in this guy's eye… he didn't like it.

Something spurred within him and he suddenly somehow knew that this guy was the one that had done something to Amora. That's why he couldn't find her because this guy had done something bad to her.

The guy gave a menacing smile and then turned and walked away. Loki immediately followed. He knew that he had to find out from this man what had happened to his coworker.

He followed the dark shadow of the man to the back of the club, through a door that was marked employees only and down a dark hallway. From here, they could still hear the sounds of the music and the chattering of the people but mostly it was dark and quiet and ominous. Loki breathing was palpable.

"Who are you?" Loki hissed.

"It's good to see you, Loki," the man said. His voice sounded familiar. "How's Tony?"

Loki frowned in confusion. "What? What are you talking about? Where's Amora?"

"Amora?" The man's dark figure shifted but Loki couldn't see a thing. "I don't know an Amora."

"You took her. I know you did."

"Looks like Tony picked himself out a crazy one," the man said.

Loki was beyond confused. He didn't know where Amora was? Then…

"Loki, I'm right here," her voice came from behind him.

"Amora?" Loki whispered back at her. "Amora, where are you?"

"I'm here to protect you," she whispered back from a different direction.

Loki turned that way too and he didn't see her. It was just an empty hallway. "Protect me from what?"

The man laughed. "This is too rich. You're hearing voices, aren't you?"

"Don't listen to him," Amora said.

"Why can't he hear you?"

"And here I thought I would have to do so much more to make Tony suffer but he doesn't know how far gone you are without my help," The man said. Then there was the sound of metal on metal that made Loki cringe. And suddenly he had a great big hand that grabbed him by the back of the neck and held him still. "I want everything that Tony's going to inherit and I thought maybe if I picked off his father, then I could have it. But it turns out that Tony wants to follow in his father's footsteps after all…"

That had Loki's full attention now. "You're…"

"Can you guess?"

"Obadiah?" Loki said weakly. He felt his whole body shake with the fearful realization. "What are you planning?"

The metal Loki had heard earlier had turned out to be a knife, which Obadiah gently placed against Loki's neck. "Shhhh… I'm not going to explain to you my plans. But I think I won't have to get rid of you, especially now that I know that you are crazy."

"I'm not crazy," Loki growled.

"Oh yeah?" Obadiah said. The knife pulled away and Loki slapped a hand over his neck, checking for a cut, but there was nothing.

A light flipped on and Loki was blinded. "Then where is this Amora girl you were speaking to?"

Loki looked around, trying to spot her hiding place but he saw nothing. "Amora?"

"I'm right here," she whispered.

But he still couldn't find her no matter where he looked.

"See? Not real," Obadiah said. "And how do you even know that I'm real?"

"I know you are real," Loki growled, turning back to him. But the man was gone. "What?"

Loki ran across the hallway and opened the door that led out into the alleyway. Cold air blew in and yet Loki could see no one. Am I crazy?

The thought shook Loki to the core.

"Loki? Loki! Thank God," Tony's voice suddenly appeared from behind him.

Loki flinched and turned to look at his boyfriend. He felt himself deflate. "Tony," Loki said hesitantly, letting the door come back to a close. "Am I… crazy?" His voice cracked on that last word.

"What? What is this about, Loki?"

Loki didn't reply and just pulled out his phone, unlocking it. He flipped it to the screen with all of his conversations with Amora and then passed it to Tony. His body shook with an unreasonable fear.

Tony took it from him, frowning and then looked down at the phone. "Loki…"

"That's my conversations with Amora…"

"Loki, there's… there's no one replying to any of these texts. It's… only pizza coupons."

It was like Loki's whole life crashed down with those simple words. He was ripped into agony at the thought that his mind was no longer his. It couldn't be true. "She's real, though," he said. He didn't even realize he was backing away from Tony until Tony took a few steps toward him.

"Amora," Tony started.

"SHE'S REAL!" Loki yelled back at him, his voice muffled slightly by the loud deafening music.

Tony held up his hands, afraid to touch Loki like he was some kind of scared bird. "I'm not saying she isn't real, I'm just saying that these texts to her, they're not—"

"She's real!" Loki insisted. But his mind was reeling with the undeniable truth. Who had really seen her in real life? Who was Amora really?

Loki shook her head and backed even further out of Tony's reach. "Loki," he said, reaching out for his boyfriend. That's what sent Loki over; Loki flinched out of Tony's grasp and pushed out of the back door into the dark alleyway. There was snow on the ground back here but there weren't any footprints. Another testament of Loki's fragile mind. So… Obadiah really wasn't here. There was no where he could have gone except through this door, if he really had been in that hallway.

"Loki," Amora's musical voice called from his left. He inhaled sharply and looked at her. She was standing there in the snow, flakes passing right through her. She was wearing the green bookshop apron like usual and that little t-shirt and nothing to keep her warm in this cold winter night. "Loki, I'm here."

"Go away! You're not real!" Loki yelled at her. He fell to his knees, choking back his tears. He wanted her so badly to be real. "You're not."

"I'm real," she replied.

Loki shook his head, burying his face into his hands. "Nothing is real anymore."

A solid hand met Loki's shoulder and he jolted, looking over his shoulder at the one person that was always real. Tony.

Tony's face was etched with worry and fear. That look made Loki's tears spill over. "I'm crazy," Loki told him.

"You're not," Tony told him. He dropped into the snow beside him, gathering Loki to him and Loki nestled his nose against Tony's collar bone gratefully.

"Yes, I really am," Loki said. "Amora's standing right behind you and she's not going away." Loki was looking at her over Tony's shoulder as she stood over them. She looked almost apologetic for even existing. Her eyes were incredibly sad underneath the black and blue bruises.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Loki didn't want her to be sorry. He just moaned with his grief and pressed into Tony, holding on for dear life.


	18. Prison Cell

Tony stood outside the door to Loki's room… his new room for the next few weeks. It was a locked cage that held his boyfriend inside, that made Tony miserable. He wasn't allowed to see Loki, not during his rehab.

Someone touched Tony's shoulder and he turned to look at Thor who was standing beside him, holding out a piping hot cup of coffee. "You're not supposed to be this close to the door," Thor said, passing the cup into Tony's hands. "He's not supposed to see either of us."

"But I want to see him."

"Tony," Thor said, looking at him with sad eyes. "If any of the nurses catch us any closer than we are now, they will make sure that we can't even come into the building."

"Just a quick look," Tony whispered. He stepped out of Thor's reach, not that the big guy was trying to stop him, and stepped to the side of the door so he could just peak into the sickly white room without being seen.

Turns out Loki wouldn't have seen him anyway. He was sitting at the top of his bed with his arms and head resting miserably into his drawn-in knees. His long black hair hung stringy and greasy. He was wearing a plain white outfit that matched the bland room.

Tony stared, gripping his coffee too tightly.

Last week, after that incident at the club, Tony had taken his boyfriend to the hospital where they checked into Loki's mental and physical state. It's entirely disgusting and unforgivable but Tony had kind of hoped that Loki's hallucinations were due to the tumor or swelling coming back or something. At least that could have been something tangible for them to deal with…

But this was schizophrenia.

Loki would likely experience the effects of schizophrenia off and on for the rest of his life but it could be controlled with antipsychotic drugs, as the doctors said. But immediately, before it got out of control, the doctors wanted to keep him under observation and in a strict therapy setting in the hospital, conditioning him away from seeing Amora and the other hallucinations he might be experiencing.

The worst of it all, though, was the look Loki had given Tony when he was told that he was being admitted into the hospital for psychosocial treatments. The betrayal and fear that Tony has seen… that was something he would never forget for as long as he lived.

"Mr. Stark, Mr Odinson," a nurse barked out, shocking Tony out of his thoughts and he jumped out of view of the window, just as Loki started to look up. "How many times do I have to tell the two of you to stay out of this hallway?" The stern older nurse came to stand in front of them, hands on hips, glaring.

Thor looked sheepish. "You have to understand, that's our only family in there."

"And the two you have to understand that you can make this worse for him if he sees you."

This was another thing the doctor had explained to them. It was unclear the exact the cause of Loki's onset of schizophrenia, but it could have been a combination of Loki's traumatic past, the swelling Loki had in his brain, or even some unknown genetics running in their family tree. It was hard to say. But while Loki was still experiencing the hallucinations, they did not want anyone or anything in Loki's presence that could trigger further dissociation from reality. Hence the isolation from Tony and Thor and pretty much everything Loki enjoyed.

"It's just a few weeks more," The nurse reminded. "He will back to you two good as new soon enough, so just go home and rest or work or whatever it is you boys do."

Tony groaned dramatically. "Come on, you won't even let us loiter in the hallway?"

She smiled thinly. "If I let every family do that, we would have a full hallway."

"Come on, Tony," Thor said at last, gesturing with his coffee to the exit. "Let's just call it a day."

Tony almost said no, but one look at the cranky old witch's face caused him to change his mind. "Fine, let's get out of here. We can go back to the Stark tower and bug Pepper or something."

Thor clapped him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit! Let's go and get you some whiskey."

Ah, Thor always knew how to make Tony feel better.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki pressed his forehead into the uncomfortable fabric of his hospital-issued pants. They were a lot like the scrubs that the doctors wore and Loki hated them.

"You need to stop complaining," Amora said from her designated corner of the room. She, at the beginning of the week, had always stood close to him, talking to him constantly, but as time went on and Loki became more tired, so did Amora. She was now sitting at the little table in the corner. She was talking less too.

"You need to stop existing," Loki said back. At the sound of his own voice, Loki sighed. He hadn't intended to respond to his hallucination but he had, just feeding the monster from his own mind.

"That's very rude of you to think of me," she replied to his thought, laughing humorlessly.

Loki looked away and squeezed his eyes shut against the scratchy fabric again. "You're not real."

"I know that and you know that. But how are we going to make me go away, Loks? Cuz you know that you just use me to project your insecurities and fears and your hopes and everything. How do you kill something like that when it lives in your head?"

"You know just as much as I do," Loki grumbled back, hating himself again for responding to her.

It hurt like a bitch though. To know that someone that he had come to care about, who had been perfect, who had understood him completely was only a fabrication of his imagination. Painful.

"You miss them don't you?"

"Yeah," Loki responded immediately, knowing she was talking about Tony and Thor.

"They were outside the door a few minutes ago."

"I know," Loki whispered. He had heard them, but he never got to see them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony collapsed into the couch near his desk while Pepper attended to his paperwork. Thor followed Tony a little more slowly, now clutching two unfinished cold coffees in either hand. "Hospital coffee is quite unsatisfactory," Thor informed them, placing them on the coffee table far away from Tony's propped up feet.

"I told you to throw them away," Tony said, rubbing his temples, trying to get rid of his growing headache that was probably due to stress or something.

"Obadiah has a free hour tomorrow evening," Pepper interrupted, casting a meaningful look at the two of them.

Those words put the brakes on anything Tony had been thinking about. "What, really?" Tony asked, sitting up straighter.

"Yeah," she said, looking remorseful. "He was pretty relaxed about it. Didn't put up a fight at all."

Tony knew what she was getting at. Before Loki had been admitted to the hospital, he had told Tony that he had seen Obadiah at the club that night. It was very unlikely but it was possible. Maybe the man was indeed a murdering bastard that had killed his father and had threatened Loki. But… with Loki's diagnosis and Tony's logic, it was becoming more and more clear that Obadiah was probably innocent.

"He said he penciled you in and that he wants to show you something," she said gently.

Tony nodded. "Clear anything on my schedule for him."

"Got it."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next morning brought Loki nothing but terror. Images and visions of Odin standing over him, the feeling of water rising up over his body, the lack of air.

Loki sobbed, tearing his fingers at his clothes, trying to force the images away from him. "This isn't real," he gasped out, fighting the haunting images.

"Just look at me," a familiar voice urged. "Only at me."

Loki allowed his eyes to open and lock onto Amora's. She was there and bright and perfect and she reached out for him, whispering soft comforts.

"Look only at me, Loki."

And he did. He could do nothing but look at the girl who was his lifeline, saving him from the demons swimming on the edge of his mind. With her he was safe. That was the only truth Loki could decipher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but you can expect several new chapters in the next upcoming 2-3 weeks. I plan to finish this story before February is done.


	19. All Pretend

"What does she look like?" Asks Loki's nurse, Miranda.

Loki stares at her for a moment, taking her in. She is his new permanent therapist that is supposed to walk him through his hallucinations, to teach him how to recognize truth from fiction. Loki isn't sure how that is supposed to help, though, because he already knows it's all fake.

"Blonde hair, pretty, blue eyes—"

"So a lot like your mother."

Loki shot a glare at the old hag's judgy eyes. Miranda had brown hair that wisped around the back of her ears into a neat bob that would be cute if it weren't for her cold, lifeless eyes and the permanent frown on her face. She was probably only 40, but she looked like 60.

"No, not like my mother," Loki snapped. The lady could not piss him off more. He was not hallucinating Amora to be a mother figure to him. He had a real mother he could go visit anytime, thank you.

"Ah, thank you for not comparing me to your mother," Amora cooed from where she sat a few inches to Loki's left on the bed. "I would have killed you, ya know."

Loki didn't respond to that but the knowing flicker in Miranda's eyes told him he was caught. "You're seeing her right now?"

He clenched his jaw, refusing to answer. He saw her all day, actually. She didn't disappear anymore like she had when he hadn't noticed that she wasn't real.

Miranda pursed her lips and leaned back in her chair, studying Loki with the twirl of her pen. "You have to start convincing yourself that she isn't real."

"I have," Loki said, annoyed. "Tell me something that will actually work."

"It will work," Miranda said, "if you will actually believe it."

"I do believe—"

"You don't." She smiled when he went quiet under her heavy gaze. Her smile irked him, like she had a secret that she just wouldn't give away. "Think about it, Loki. If you actually convinced yourself, she wouldn't be here right now."

"She's right," Amora piped up.

"And you wouldn't listen to everything she says."

"Again, she's right."

"And you wouldn't always look into a space that is empty to everyone else."

Loki's eyes snapped away from Amora as he realized that somewhere in Miranda's speech he had looked away and stared at Amora instead. "But she's…" Loki trailed off, not really knowing what he was about to say.

"See? You refer to her as if she is real. Study her, watch her. Look for things that are unnatural in her behavior and in her appearance and you will notice something that will truly wake you up, that will show you that she is not real."

Loki looked at Amora again. "She's pretty normal," Loki mumbled.

"Thanks a lot," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Look again," Miranda urged.

Loki glanced to Miranda, feeling weary. But Miranda did look sure of herself and she was the one here with the fancy degree, not Loki… as much as he wanted to go to school. "Does this really work?"

"I've had hundreds of patients," she said simply.

"And they what, all were magically cured?"

"Definitely not, but it would be best to try," she said, setting a stern glare on him once again. Miranda did not have much patience.

Loki sighed heavily, ducking his head down to look away from Miranda, and scrubbed his hands tiredly over his eyes. All this sitting around made him unbearably tired and he just wanted Miranda to leave so he could sleep for once. "Fine," Loki moaned.

Loki's green eyes narrowed as he finally looked up at his hallucination. Amora smiled back at him, sitting straight up on the bed, legs crossed and her arms bent casually at her lap. "So what is she expecting you to see?" Amora asked him.

He snorted a short laugh. "No idea."

Miranda cleared her throat and Loki looked at her, took in her raised eyebrows and turned back to Amora with a wave of Miranda's hand. "Ignore Amora and just look at her."

"Loki, are we really going to take her seriously?"

"Shut up for a second," Loki said. He stared at Amora's face, taking in her features. She always seemed to shine and glow but it was more of her sunny appearance than anything unnatural. He scanned over the rest of her body briefly. "I… don't see anything."

"Look closer," Miranda encouraged.

Loki stilled, staring at his companion. He took in her blonde hair the blue of her jeans, the green of her apron… "Her apron!"

"Her apron?"

"Yes!" Loki said, suddenly going breathless and incredibly warm. "She's always wearing it and she never wears anything different." Amora's image wavered and Loki sucked in a sharp breath, eyes widening.

Miranda leaned into Loki's personal space and Amora went solid again. Amora looked stricken, staring at Loki as if she had hit her. "Did she disappear?" Miranda asked.

Amora ran a hand along a bruise that appeared along the bottom of her right eye and looked away from Loki. "No," Loki forced out. "But she… She was…"

Miranda nodded in acknowledgement and leaned back in her seat. "It's a start."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I'm sorry," Loki whispered into the darkness of the middle of the night. The lights were off and Loki was lying in his bed, not tired, but looking at his friend who was sitting in front of the illuminated window. He could see Amora clearly but it was as if she were a ghost. Loki could see the moon right through her.

"It's okay," she said quietly, looking out the window but never looking at Loki. "You need to get better."

"But I don't want to lose you," Loki admitted, feeling miserable. He scrunched his eyes shut at his secret and pressed his palms against his eyes. "I want you to be real."

Amora was suddenly beside Loki on the bed, lying next to him in the narrow space. Amora was everything Loki ever wanted in a friend, in a family member. "You have to do this for Tony," Amora reminded. "And Thor." She sighed, looking at him with her big blue eyes. "If I disappear, if you learn to control these hallucinations, you can be happy again."

"But I'll miss you," Loki whispered.

She smiled sweetly. "Maybe."

"What do I do?" Loki asked, pulling the blanket closer to his chest.

Amora stare at him for a moment, contemplating. "You forget about me," she said, sighing in defeat. Loki huffed and threw the blanket over his face, hiding his frustration from her. She followed him, pulling the blanket over her own head into the hot, suffocating space. "Or you can pretend."

Loki smiled.


	20. Meeting

Tony's hands were sweating as he exited the elevator onto the floor of the Stark Tower that held Obadiah's office. He didn't know what to expect. He had his suspicions but the evidence was stacking up against Tony, leading him now to believe that maybe Obadiah was innocent. Maybe it was true that he was wrongly accusing his father's friend and business partner this whole time.

Pepper squeezed his elbow when he faltered to a stop in the middle of the bustling hallway, almost wishing he could leave the floor and just forget about all of this. He looked over at Pepper, trying to clear his thoughts to keep his mind open to what was to come. She smiled back. "Just think, the sooner this meeting is over, the sooner you can see Loki at the hospital."

The mention of that caused Tony to smile warmly back at her. "Yeah…" was his simple reply. But really, he was bursting with excitement to see Loki face-to-face. Since Tony and Thor had been hanging out at the hospital non-stop, bothering the nurses and upsetting the patients, the staff had agreed to allow Thor and Tony fifteen minutes each to visit with Loki and catch up. They actually said that Loki made significant progress just at his last psych evaluation.

Pepper patted Tony's cheek affectionately, snapping him back into the present. "Did you want me to go in with you?"

"No," Tony said, shaking his head. "You've done enough for me already. I'll just… update you when I get out, okay?"

Pepper nodded and moved to head back to the elevators, stepping carefully with the flow of the busy hallway. Tony reached out and stopped her, catching her wrist. People around them stepped cautiously around them, barely speaking. They must all recognize him.

"Hey Pepper, if you don't hear from me in like an hour, call the police because I'll probably be dead in a gutter somewhere."

She scoffed, yanking her wrist away. "Okay, Tony. I'll do that," she said in a mocking tone.

"I'm serious!" Tony called after her walked away.

She only shook her head and kept walking.

Sighing, Tony realized there was nothing left to stall him from going to Obadiah's office. _Well, here goes nothing._

Tony made his way through the maze of offices to the furthest corner away from the elevator, the side of the building that overlooked Central Park. He stopped in front of the double doors, smoothed down his suit jacket and then raised his hand and knocked.

"Come in," was the soft reply.

Without hesitating, breathing deeply, Tony pushed his way into the room. There was no way he was going to make himself look weak in front of someone like Obadiah, someone whom he no longer trusted.

"Tony," Obadiah greeted when Tony entered the large office space. "Take a seat, close the door."

Tony nodded, his jaw stiff, trying to prevent his frown from forming. Then he quickly crossed the room and stopped by his chair but not sitting. "You said you had something to show me?"

"Don't you want to sit?" Obadiah asked, gesturing to the chair beside Tony. Tony glared back at him. The older man sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk, hands pressed together just below his chin. "I'm not the enemy here, Tony. In fact, there really isn't an enemy at all."

"Just tell me what you're getting at," Tony replied shortly.

Obadiah gestured at the chair in front of Tony.

Relenting, Tony sunk down into it, grimacing. In response, Obadiah smiled and swiveled his chair to the large screen built above the fire place to the side of Obadiah's desk. He picked up a remote and pushed a button to bring it to life, revealing a blurry image of a darkened hallway.

"What is this?" Tony asked slowly, somewhat recognizing the hallway.

"I'm just proving my innocence to you. You accused me of killing Howard before, which I have nothing left to prove to you that I had nothing to do with that incident, despite the countless police investigations. However, I do have proof for your second accusation. You recall how Loki accused me of attacking him in the hallway of that club, threatening him?"

Tony nodded slowly, stomach dropping. He himself hardly believed Loki's story, but he had reported it anyway, at least for his boyfriend's sake.

"Yes, right," Obadiah said, when he saw the renewed frown on Tony's face. "Let's take a look." He pressed play.

The hallway was dark, the camera using night vision to monitor the area. At first, there was nothing, but then Loki appeared through a swinging door. He took a few steps into the room and then stopped, frozen in the middle of the room. For second, Tony thought he was doing nothing, but then Tony realized Loki was talking…to nothing. There was no one in the hallway with him.

After a minute more, Loki looked around the room wildly, looking for something and then flinched at nothing. A few more moments of this strange behavior and then suddenly Loki was flipping on a nearby light switch, blinding himself and he held an arm over his eyes to get used to the new light.

Loki looked around the room again, looking confused and then paced down the hallway and he looked out of the alleyway door. There was a few beats of nothing and then Tony showed up, through the same doors…

Obadiah paused the footage. "This is from the club that night, the night your boyfriend accused me of attacking him. There is nothing here, no one saw me at that club, and you should know that I would never set foot in a place like that. Could you imagine? Me in a club like that without being recognized?"

It was just as Tony had feared. There was nothing holding Obadiah to the theories he and Pepper had worked so hard to collect. "Well… this is embarrassing," Tony said, rubbing the back of his neck. He laughed a little, trying to play it off.

Obadiah stared back at him coldly. "I'm not sure why you have targeted me for your problems, Tony," Obadiah said seriously, but then his eyes softened a bit. "But you should know that I would never do anything to hurt you, your father, or anyone you care about. As you can see, I am still in the same position as before your father died and I have not sought out anything since. I'm really not out to get you, you know."

The last of Tony's resolve crumbled. It all made too much sense and Tony's theory had dissolved completely. He rubbed a hand across his forehead, defeated. "You're right. God, I'm… uh, sorry."

Obadiah laughed, smiling for the first time since Tony had entered the room. "It really kills you to apologize doesn't it?"

Ah, he got Tony there. "Of course not," Tony said, straightening up but averting his eyes.

"Sure," Obadiah said, clearly not believing him. "So how is Loki by the way? I've only read what has been in the paper, but you really can't believe what is in the tabloids these days." Obadiah gestured to an older newspaper from the date of Loki's admittance to the hospital, which sat at the corner of his desk, closest to Tony.

On the front was a picture of Tony escorting a down-trodden Loki into the towering hospital building. Loki had his head down, eyes on the pavement while Tony had a hand resting at the small of Loki's back while he glared into the camera. The caption read, _Tony Stark admits boyfriend into mental institute._

Tony flipped the newspaper over immediately. "You should throw that away."

"That bad?" Obadiah asked.

Tony really didn't want to reveal anything to Obadiah, as he really still didn't trust the man, but he found himself saying, "Oh no, Loki's fine. It just fucking sucks that he has to be in that stupid hospital for so long and now he will have stupid people calling him crazy. He doesn't need this kind of attention."

"Will he get out soon?"

"We hope so," Tony confessed. He couldn't seem to staunch the flow of words from his mouth. "If Loki improves, he could be out by next weekend and his condition is very manageable with regular check-ups and a lot of medication. The only good thing that has come out of this stupid situation is that his memory issues have barely been a problem since this began… But I almost wish…" he trailed off. He almost of wished he had to deal with just the memory issues. Would that have been easier to deal with than what they had in front of them now?

Tony stood abruptly and forced a smile at Obadiah. "Look, I gotta go. I have to meet up with Thor at the hospital."

Obadiah nodded, returning an uneasy smile. "Think about everything Tony, okay?"

"Yeah," Tony said, before turning on his heal and leaving in a rush. Wow, he was just a coward as always.

But things could only get better, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see, probably only 4 chapters left.


	21. Is This Real?

Tony stood in the quiet hallway of the room that locked Loki in, which he hadn't been allowed inside at all since this whole thing had started several weeks ago. But today… today he would finally get to see Loki in person and not through a window or anything else.

The psychologist, Miranda, who had led him to this point, stopped right outside Loki's room and turned to him, smiling wanly. "He has made some progress," she said. They were just out of sight of Loki's window, so Tony couldn't see inside. He silently wished for her to hurry up. "He recently had a breakthrough moment where he almost made 'Amora' go away. Since then, he hasn't said much about her presence, nor has he been talking to something that is not there. We suspect he might be trying to push her out of his mind or that he is hiding her from us. We can't be sure at this point."

Tony sighed, feeling overwhelmed from it all. "What can I do?"

"We need you to see if he reveals anything, if there's any indication of the hallucination still being there. The medication should slowly be helping but we need Loki to work with us too."

Nodding, Tony looked over her shoulder at the door. He would do anything to make Loki better. Then he glanced back at her, saluting her, saying, "I'll do my best, captain."

She smiled. "I think Loki will need your positivity in his life."

"Thanks," he said, his chest warming with pride. There were not often times where Tony felt worthy of Loki, but every time someone said something like that, it slowly became more believable.

She moved aside and slowly unlocked the door. As soon as the door was opened, Tony was through it, stepping into the abnormally white room. Honestly, this room alone could cause a person to become more insane than they already were.

Tony paused just inside the door and took in the sight of Loki. Loki did not look as ragged as the last time he had seen him, several days ago. In fact, his eyes full of life and they lit up at the sight of Tony.

Loki straightened from his spot in front the window, where he had his feet kicked up against the window's ledge. He swung his feet down and stood in a flash. "Tony," he huffed, his eyes welling with emotion.

"Oh, Loks," Tony said, feeling himself breaking. He crossed the room in an instance and gathered his boyfriend into a tight hug, holding on for dear life. Loki, in response, wrapped his long arms around the back of Tony's neck, holding him closer still. Their hug elated Tony like a breath of fresh air. He kissed Loki's soft black hair, just above his temple. "I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you more," Loki murmured against Tony's neck, tickling him with his hot breath.

"That's impossible," Tony said, pulling back just enough so he could rest his forehead against Loki's. "But honestly I think Sprinkles misses you the most. He practically wants nothing to do with me ever since you've been gone."

Loki laughed breathlessly. "I can't wait to go home."

"I promise, once you make a bit more progress, we'll get you out of here," Tony assured, stepping back but taking one of Loki's hands in his own and leading Loki over to the bed. He sat down gingerly and Loki followed just as cautiously. It was so awkward to be together like this after the way they had parted. "You know that I'm sorry, right?"

"Sorry for what?" Loki asked, glancing over at him and then at their intertwined fingers that were resting against their legs. They were sitting as close as humanly possible, as if afraid of losing one another.

"You know, for making you stay here."

Loki looked away, but ran his thumb across Tony's knuckles. "It was for the best. I need to stop seeing these… hallucinations."

"And are they going away?"

Loki's eyes flickered as if he was disappearing within his own mind. His gaze flicked to the corner of the room briefly and then back again. "She's… gone."

"Is she really?" Tony said. He didn't mean to sound so stern but he needed to know, to know that Loki was trying.

Loki nodded, letting his hair fall into his face. Tony tucked it behind his ear for him. Loki seemed to be trying hard to lie to Tony but Tony knew better because he knew Loki wouldn't act this suspicious if he was only telling the truth.

But he didn't argue. "Okay," he said, pressing another kiss against Loki's forehead.

Loki's gasp of surprise sent Tony's senses into overdrive. He promptly pressed a hand against Loki's cheek and pressed a chaste kiss against to Loki lips. Loki pushed back against him and deepened the kiss, opening his mouth to let Tony in.

They continued for a while, just the sound of kisses and gasping. "You know there's cameras in here," Loki murmured against his lips.

Tony smiled and pressed his lips to Loki's neck instead. "Has that ever stopped me before?"

Loki laughed and they made out some more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"So how would you say that went?" Miranda asked, closing them into a private office room.

Tony sat down in one of the large leather chairs with his face flaming. "Well, I mostly made out with him," Tony laughed uneasily.

"I know," she said, seeming amused. "We do periodically check the surveillance cameras, you know."

Tony looked away, rubbing a hand through his hair. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Not at all," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "I just need to know if you noticed anything in subtext. For example, was there anything off in his behavior?"

"I think he's lying about not seeing Amora," Tony said immediately. "It really seemed like he was avoiding the question when I asked about her and, I don't know… he was just looking around the room from time to time."

She nodded. "Just as we suspected." She scribbled something down in her notebook. "And how's his memory?"

Tony looked up at her in surprise. He didn't know how, but he'd basically forgotten about Loki's memory issue. "It didn't seem like he forgotten anything. It's kind of amazing."

"I think that is wear Amora comes in. I believe Loki uses Amora to store some of his memories that tend to slip away from him. I also think that he projects the ideal image of his mother onto his hallucination. He describes someone who helps him through all of his problems, who looks a lot like his mother, and who cares deeply for him. I think Amora, as well of his other hallucinations are a product of the head trauma and his past traumatic experiences."

"Is he still seeing other hallucinations?"

"He confessed that they weren't as frequent as seeing Amora. But when they do appear, Amora tends to warn them away."

"Oh," Tony said, sinking into his chair a bit. So if Amora really did go away, how would Loki cope then with the hallucinations that were ten times worse? What would he do if Tony wasn't there to help him?

"Tony," Miranda interrupted his thoughts, leaning across the desk. "I will assure you that Loki will lead a completely normal life like you and I. He will just require a bit more counseling and medications than us." She smiled softly at him.

He managed a smile and breathed out slowly. "Well, you're the expert. I'm sure you've seen cases like his before."

"I have," she said. "It's now just a matter of coaxing him into becoming independent of Amora again. However, I'm sure this is something Loki will have to struggle with time to time in his life."

But Tony was already reassured. He felt himself becoming suddenly light and calmed. He could deal with an occasional episode time to time because honestly he's much more surprised that Loki doesn't have any more issues beyond it, considering how much his boyfriend has gone through. "We can do it," Tony said confidently.

She grinned. "Glad to hear it. Now we only have to keep him for a bit longer and then we will discharge him into your care, but we can talk about that more when we know for sure that Loki is continuing to make more progress."

"Thank you for helping him," Tony said, standing to leave. He reached across and shook her hand. "I'll be waiting for your call."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki was lying underneath his sheets again that night, looking sadly at Amora who laid beside him. She was utterly pale and Loki could see practically all the way through her. Her face, again was littered with bruises and cuts, but it was somehow worse since he'd talked to Tony today. "I'm sorry," Loki whispered, choking back his tears.

"I thought we were going to pretend that you were better," Amora said, distressed.

"I'm sorry," Loki repeated. "I just couldn't lie with Tony looking at me like that. I tried, I really did, but lying to Tony feels like…" he trailed off, watching Amora's face.

She looked slightly upset but she mostly looked resigned. "I'm going to disappear," she said finally. She curled further into herself but neither of them tried to dispute it. Loki honestly knew that even if he didn't let her go, the medication would be sufficient in keeping her away often enough. "What are you going to do without me?"

Loki winced, thinking of Odin and the bathtub and the sensation of drowning. All of that sometimes came back in hallucinations seemingly as real as Amora, but Amora was often the one to snap him out of it. "I don't…" he stopped. "Actually I do know. I will use Tony and Thor to help me, I know it. But I just don't want to let you go yet, Amora."

As he said these words, she faded further. "I have to go."

"Please don't," Loki said, his eyes prickling with the pain.

A door opening and closing suddenly sent Loki straight up in bed and Amora was instantly solid again. There, at the end of Loki's bed was Obadiah, shadowed against Loki's dark room. "Just as crazy as ever," Obadiah said, his deep voice sending Loki disturbed chills.

"You're not real," Loki said quickly, trying to banish the man from his mind.

"He's real," Amora warned, standing from the bed, alarmed.

"I'm definitely real," Obadiah told him. "And I have a proposition for you."


	22. Chapter 22

"You're not real, you're definitely not real," Loki chanted, backing up against his headboard. He had to be imagining the man before him because how else could Obadiah be here in his room at this time of night? If it was this easy to get in, surely Tony would have tried this already.

Obadiah closed the door behind him gently, grinning ruthlessly. Nearby, Amora stood apprehensively, winding her fingers together. "I really think he's real," Amora told him, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

"No, I really… I hope he's not real," Loki said out loud. Obadiah's smile grew as he paced bit closer to the bed, tugging the sleeves of his shirt down.

"I don't know," Amora said. "He looks awfully real and you hardly know the man. Why would you be imagining this guy you know hardly two things about?"

"Well, I have no idea if you exist in real life," Loki pointed out to her.

Obadiah chuckled, interrupting Loki's thoughts. "I did not know you were this far gone," Obadiah commented, looking down at him like prey.

"What do you want?"

"Right to the point," Obadiah said. He pulled one of the chairs away from the corner table and swung it around to face Loki, sitting down. "Then, I'll lay it out straight for you: You are going to help me take over Stark Industries."

"There's no way I'm going to—"

"Nuh uh," Obadiah said mildly, shaking a finger at him. "You didn't let me finish laying out my proposition. Look, nothing will happen to the two of you. You can go back to your small town home and live happily ever after. You just need to convince Tony to sell his company over to me."

"And how am I supposed to that?" Loki growled. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't care how you do it. Not one bit. But I am pretty sure if you get any crazier, Tony will be willing to do anything to make you better…"

Loki glared at him, hoping the expression reflected how badly he wished Obadiah would drown in burning hot lava.

"Fair enough," Obadiah said, tapping his foot subtly. "But you will do it, because if you don't there will be consequences."

Loki stilled, clenching his fists. "You're threatening me, aren't you?"

"I'm not the bad guy here, Loki. I'm just giving you some friendly advice, one friend to another."

"I know bastards like you," Loki stated, breathing in sharply and gathering his courage. He leaned forward and jabbed a finger at him. "I've had enough of pieces of shit like you making moves on my life, trying to kill me, make me helpless…" A flash of a filled tub and the sound of running water and another flash of being pressed into his bed, watching the glint of a gun. He breathed out slowly, closing his eyes to banish the images. When his eyes snapped open, he glared at Obadiah with resolve. "I'm not going to let you push me around."

Obadiah shrugged and stood. "Like I said, there will be consequences."

His words sent a gruesome chill down Loki's spine, the hair on the back of his neck standing on edge. Then it dawned on him. "You killed Howard, didn't you?"

Laughing suddenly, Obadiah shook his head, "No of course not. That was an honest accident that I had nothing to do with… But if Tony does not resign from his post, I may need to get my hands dirty, and the one who will end up dead will not be you, I can assure you."

Loki's heart lurched. "You wouldn't."

"Only if you fail." Obadiah turned back to the door, opening it. "You have two weeks."

Paling, Loki said, "I don't even get to see Tony until next week."

"Then you better work fast," Obadiah said. He smiled one last time before stepping through the door and closing it behind him. The locked clicked after him.

After a moment of staring at the door numbly, Loki glanced at Amora who had moved closer to him. "Was that real?"

"I… I'm sorry. I think it was real."

"What do I do?"

"Don't tell anyone," she told him. "They'll think you're crazy. Just hold out until they reevaluate you for release and when you see Tony next, do what you need to."

Loki eyed her warily. She no longer looked as transparent as she had earlier and Loki could hardly see through her anymore. Loki wasn't sure that was a good thing but he found himself agreeing with her. "Okay," he said, feeling uneasy. "Okay, I'll wait for Tony."

After that, Loki didn't sleep a wink that night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next week flew by in a snap. Loki never felt so tense in his life; his worry for Tony and what could happen to his boyfriend was eating Loki alive. He tried his very best that week to ignore Amora and the other hallucinations to Amora's dismay. She was a little miffed that she was once again disappearing slowly under the influence of Loki's medications because she kept telling him that she needed to be there to help him when all of this went down. Loki tried his best to ignore her though, because he needed to be cleared to leave this hell hole. He needed to be able to protect Tony.

He did such a good job of it Miranda had smiled at him on that Saturday, telling him, "Looks like we can release you, Loki. You aren't exactly where we want you to be yet, but I don't see why you can't continue recovery at home. We'll just be having someone coming to your home daily for a while to check in with you and assess your progress. In time the hallucinations should disappear entirely, especially with the level of concentration you've used this week. If you continue turning your attention away from them, you should be able to learn to push them out entirely. Just remember—"

"Remember to focus on their features that make them abnormal, I know," Loki sighed.

"That's right!" Miranda grinned. She pushed back her chair and stood. "Come on, let's get you into some normal clothes and let's go meet up with Mr. Stark."

Normal clothes. Loki overflowed with happiness, imagining slipping into the familiar, comforting snugness of a pair of black jeans and the coziness of a warm green sweater. "Let's get the fuck going!" Loki said with more enthusiasm than he'd used in weeks. Despite the fear building in his chest, it did not smother this small joy. He would save the worry until after he'd dressed.

The hallucinations were not completely gone, Tony knew that. Miranda had even warned him that Loki was trying his hardest to pretend that they weren't there but it was likely he would still experience them. She advised him to bring him in immediately if the hallucinations worsened so that they could adjust his medication.

There were very few things in Tony's life that he took absolutely seriously and Loki's health was one of them. He promised Miranda that he noticed anything even a little off, he would bring his boyfriend in. He wanted to live a normal life with Loki.

So he stood nervously and anxiously at the reception desk that sat at the mouth of mental health ward. What would Loki look like? Would he look like his normal self or would he have that faraway look in his eyes again?

He bounced on his feet until Miranda came around the corner with Loki trailing behind her. He stopped fidgeting and inhaled at the sight of him.

Loki was wearing the clothes Tony had brought in for him today: tight black skinny jeans, a gray t-shirt and a winter jacket. He even already had that adorable beanie hat on and it made Tony want to smother him in kisses.

"Tony!" Loki brightened as soon as he saw Tony and practically jumped at him, hugging Tony around the stomach. Tony caught him and snuggled him to his chest, his heart fluttering at wisps of Loki's soft breath against his neck.

"Good to have you back," Tony murmured into Loki's ear.

"It's only been a week, but I missed you," Loki told him somberly.

Tony pressed a kiss to Loki's temple. "I missed you too, Loks."

Miranda laughed softly, shaking her head. "There's time for reunions later. First we need to get Loki signed out and then the two of you are free to do whatever you want."

Loki pulled away from Tony and turned away from him, subtly wiping away tears but Tony saw it. His heart broke for Loki. The poor guy had been through too much in his life. Tony turned away, giving Loki that time to himself. "Where do we sign?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The drive home was quiet. Not a bad quiet, Tony supposed, but he felt the continual urge to break it and say something stupid. Tony held back, though. Loki looked like was really concentrating or thinking or whatever. Every time he glanced over, Loki was staring out the window with that frown.

At their high-rise apartment, Tony let valet do their job and led Loki through the golden doors to the elevator. Neither had really said much since the hospital, so he didn't expect anything when he pressed their floor's number and the doors slid shut in front of them.

But suddenly, his arms were filled Loki, his lashes still wet from earlier tears. Loki pressed himself up against Tony, wrapping his arms over Tony's shoulders, kissing Tony desperately. Tony backed up against the elevator doors, gathering Loki closer still and closed his eyes to savor the kiss. Loki tasted sweet today, his breath hot against his lips as the kissed roughly.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Tony immediately scooped Loki up bridal style and Loki laughed, trying to push away from Tony. "Let me down!" he snorted.

"No way," Tony said, marching into their apartment. "I'm going to have my way with you."

Loki leaned up and gathered him into another kiss. The distraction almost had him tripping over something solid. A loud meow had them breaking apart laughing.

Sprinkles was standing at Tony's feet, practically climbing Tony's legs to get to Loki. Tony shook his head at the cat. "You are going to have to wait your turn! I have things to _discuss_ with Loki."

Loki elbowed him in the gut with a smile. "Let me just pet him for a second."

"No," Tony whined as he set Loki down. "He's going to take up all your time."

"No he won't. Right, Sprinkles?" Loki said, crouching by the cat. The cat was practically out of his mind from seeing Loki, rubbing up against Loki aggressively and meowing pitifully.

"Cockblock," Tony murmured.

Loki gave Sprinkles one last pet and stood. "Okay, where were we?"

Tony grinned and scooped Loki back up quickly, earning shrieking laughter from his boyfriend as he took him into their bedroom. "Our bed hasn't been properly used in weeks."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Afterwards, after he had suitably ravished Loki, they laid in the bed naked, legs wrapped around each other, bodies pressed together, noses almost touching. "I love you," Tony told him as he wove his fingers through Loki's hair.

Loki smiled tiredly at him. "I love you too, of course." He reddened at his words and looked away.

The silence stretched and Tony itched with word vomit. He never wanted to let Loki go again and it almost made him want to…

"Loki." "Tony." They said at the same time, eyes on each other instantly.

"You go first," Tony said softly.

Loki shook his head, looking away again. "No you first."

"Loki," Tony repeated, pressed a hand against Loki's chin, forcing Loki to look at him. "You know how much I love you, right?"

Loki's face scrunched up. "So much that I don't deserve."

"Don't be dramatic," Tony said, pulling himself onto his elbows to kiss Loki again. When he pulled away, Tony was saying it, the words that had been forcing their way out of him, "I want to marry you."

Loki's eyes widened comically.

Tony grinned. "Loki, will you marry me?"


	23. With This Ring

Seconds passed where Tony and Loki stared at each other, Loki in total shock. Loki could feel his pulse thumping in his chest and he didn't know what to say. "You want to marry me?" he asked.

Tony was looking down at him like he was the world, like he was everything. "Of course I do, Loks. You are my best friend and I love you."

"Tony," Loki breathed, trying desperately to get a hold of himself.

"No, I am absolutely serious." He pushed himself off of Loki and scrambled across the room, opening a drawer. He grabbed something from inside and came back again. "I'll even do it properly." He started to kneel down beside the bed, completely and utterly naked.

Loki swung into a sitting position, also completely naked. He started to laugh and with the laugh came tears. "Tony," Loki laughed through his happy tears. "Oh my God."

"I got this for you while you are away," Tony said, looking down at the box fondly and then back at Loki. He smiled shyly. "I think you'll like it."

Loki tensed in anticipation as Tony opened the box. Inside was a simple band made beautifully in a silver shade. Wordlessly, Loki took the ring from the box and examined it. It was absolutely simple, but on the inside of the band was an inscription: L & T. So, so, so deliciously simple. "I love it, Tony."

"Is that a yes?"

He tore his eyes away to look at Tony. "Yes! It's a yes. Did you think I was going to say any different?"

Tony stood immediately and scooped Loki around the waist, cheering as he spun Loki around once. "I didn't know for sure with everything that was happening."

"I love you, Tony Stark," Loki said as Tony finally put him away and he slipped the ring onto his finger, marveling at its beauty.

Tony leaned over him. "We'll need to get it resized." It was probably a size or two too big, hanging loosely around Loki's thin finger.

"Do you have one too?" Loki asked.

His boyfriend nodded, beaming, and showed Loki his own hand that already had his ring on his hand.

"When the hell did you put that on?" Loki asked, shocked. This ring appeared to be an exact duplicate of Loki's and that warmed his chest.

"Just now," Tony said with a shrug, still grinning. "You know what? We should celebrate! You're my fiancé now."

"And how would you like to celebrate?"

"Would you like to climb back in this bed? I have a few ideas."

Loki laughed. "I knew it would be something like that." But he pulled Tony with him, jumping back onto the bed, laughing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The morning came too quickly and they were lying once naked, side by side in bed, completely contented while the sun streamed warmly through the blinds. Loki blinked awake to see Tony was already stirring, watching Loki quietly with a smile on his face.

It was too early yet to speak but they were satisfied to continue to cuddle close, enjoying the feeling of skin pressed together simply because they wanted to be near. Tony's breathing tickle Loki's cheek, but it was such a pleasant feeling after being shut away so long.

"You know," Tony said after a few blissful moments, "if you asked me what happiness is, it would be this right now. This feeling. You in this moment."

"My fiancé, the poet," Loki said, relishing the new status.

"A regular Shakespeare," Tony said, smiling.

More moments ticked by and Loki became more and more aware of the nagging fear begging for his attention beneath all of his current ecstasy. It was the fear of losing Tony, of not being able to stop Obadiah.

"Tony," Loki said after a long pause. He just needed to force it out of himself. As much as he didn't want to bring this up today, he was rapidly losing time on Obadiah's deadline. "Umm, there's something…" he trailed off. Did he really have to do this now?

"What is it?" Tony still looked happy, relaxed, not a bit worried. Perhaps Loki shouldn't do this right now.

"Um, Nothing."

That caught Tony's attention because he sat up and looked down at Loki. He used his thumb to rub away at Loki's frown that he adopted with his internal conversation. "There's something bothering you."

"We don't need to talk about it right now."

"No, we absolutely do." Tony said, starting to frown himself.

"Oh no, why did I have to do this now?" Loki said, turning away from Tony and pressing his hands over his eyes. Sometimes he couldn't stand himself.

Tony pried Loki's hands away from his face. "What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, Loki braced himself. He looked away once, fleetingly around for Amora but he did not spot her. He turned back to Tony. "It's about Obadiah."

Tony dropped Loki's hands and allowed Loki to sit up next to him, turning to face him. "What about him?"

"This is going to sound crazy," Loki said, shaking his head. "I don't even know if it was real."

"Tell me."

"Obadiah came to my room last week. You know, in the hospital? And he said…" Loki gulped, not sure how to proceed. How could he tell Tony without sounding like a lunatic?

"He what?" Tony asked. His face had morphed into something of fear, maybe disbelief, maybe even annoyance. Loki couldn't exactly tell in that moment.

"Well…" he started, staring down at his hands.

"What? Loki, you're killing me here!"

"Fine," Loki huffed. "Obadiah came to my room last week and basically threatened to do something terrible to you if you don't sign the company over to him and he said there would be consequences if I didn't convince you in two weeks but he didn't have anything to do with Howard's death from what he told me, he just said it was a real convenience. I didn't even know how he got in there and I don't even know if he was real but that's what I saw. I just want to keep you safe, okay, and—"

"Take a breath," Tony said, pressing heavy hands down on Loki's shoulders. He forced Loki to look him in the eyes, resting a gentle hand against Loki's face, pawing it against him in desperate comfort.

Loki breathed out heavily and shook his head. "You probably don't believe me." He looked up at Tony, daring him to say otherwise.

Tony looked conflicted for only second before his expression steeled with resolve. He chose his words carefully, "It does sound strange but it is… serious… and I am not really sure how to take it but…" He sighed. "Look, you even said yourself you aren't sure if it was real."

Loki shrugged but his chest was buzzing uneasily. "Yeah… I did…"

Tony nodded, saying, "So we have to take this information carefully. I'll keep kind of an eye on Obadiah and kind of gage how things are, okay? And I'll tighten my security, keep maybe a bodyguard a little closer for a while."

"At least you are taking me seriously," Loki said, deflating from the release of his burden.

"Of course I am," Tony said, gathering Loki to him and resting his chest on his head. "We'll figure this out, I promise."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day, it was Monday and Tony was dressed for work and kissed a frowning Loki goodbye before going to work. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"You have to," Loki said quietly.

"Will do," Tony assured. "And you don't answer the door for anyone and you keep Sprinkles close to protect you." He almost laughed at his own words, seeing Sprinkles sleeping on the counter.

Loki, on the other hand, stood with a grave expression painted on his face. "Just call me if anything happens."

"I will," Tony promised, trying to soothe his fiancé's nerves. "I'll see you later." He pressed one last kiss to Loki's cheek and headed out.

The commute to work was always relatively quick, but this time it felt several hours long. The things Loki had told him were extremely troubling and despite his assurances to Loki, he wasn't quite sure if Loki really saw what he saw. He thought back to when Loki had thought he had seen Obadiah in the night club and shivered. From the tape there had been no one there. What if this was the same kind of situation?

Tony went throughout the rest of his day with the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that maybe Loki was telling the truth, but he went to his meetings dutifully, trying to ignore these conflicting feelings swirling in the back of his mind. What if Loki was getting bad again?

There were a lot of meetings that day, a lot of paperwork to shuffle through, and Tony had a couple of new projects he had to focus on. A sourness settled in Tony's stomach as he continued to work beyond his normal hours. He dismissed Pepper on time but continued to work. He was actually far behind on many things and he should get caught up. Shooting a text off to Loki to let him know that he was staying work, Tony stayed determined. It wasn't just that he needed to stay caught up, but he also kind of wanted to check in on Obadiah after a few of the employees have left for the day.

He wasn't stupid though. He kept security close by, just outside the doors, when he sent for Obadiah to come to his office. It didn't stop Tony from shaking with nerves though.

A soft rap on the door startled Tony from his thoughts and he straightened himself from where he had been bent over his work. "Come in," Tony called, trying to sound quite normal.

The security outside his door opened it for Obadiah, allowing the man to enter the room with his head held high. Obadiah wore his usual confident smile but after what Loki had told him, he couldn't help but find the curve of the man's lips menacing.

"Hello, Tony. What calls me to your office today?" he asked, taking his time to pace across the room with his arms tucked behind his back.

Tony set his pen down slowly as the doors were closed behind Obadiah and braced himself to address the man. "Nothing too urgent," Tony said simply, leaning back in his chair and trying to force himself to relax.

"I noticed you have security posted outside your office today," Obadiah commented, angling himself towards the door to gesture at it before taking a seat on the other side of the desk. When Obadiah turned back to Tony a glint of something dark flashed in his eyes, but it was so quick, Tony was left wondering if he had imagined it.

Tony shrugged. "Just taking precautions."

Obadiah said nothing but his eyes narrowed minutely.

"So I actually wanted to tell you about me and Loki," he continued. He watched the man closely and noticed the way he shifted in interest, a small smile growing on his face.

"Go on."

Tony let the moment drag out for a moment. "We're getting married," he said finally, raising his hand to reveal the ring he was wearing.

For a moment, Obadiah did nothing and his eyebrows stitched together in surprise, but then he rose. "Congratulations, Tony! I didn't think you had it in you! I'm assuming he said yes?"

Tony stood as well, allowing the man to clap him on the shoulder, and he couldn't help to smile as he said, "Of course he said yes!"

"Did he say anything else?"

Those words caught Tony off guard and his smile slipped. The atmosphere had dropped into buzzing tension in three seconds flat and suddenly, Tony was feeling uncomfortable in front of a man that he had known for a majority of his life. "Like what?" he laughed nervously.

"Like perhaps where you will live and what the two of you will do with your future?"

Tony looked away, allowing the dread settle around him. "Nope," he said with a chuckle, playing it off as nothing. "We didn't exactly have time to talk about things like that. We only got engaged last night."

"Hmm," Obadiah grunted, holding his eye contact. "I thought Loki would have more to say than that. It appears I was wrong."

"We have a ton of time to talk about things like that," Tony said, sitting back into his chair. He shuffled some papers around.

"Time passes faster than you think," Obadiah replied. "You never know when you will run out of time… but I'll let you youngsters figure that out. Congratulations to you, Tony. You will give Loki my best wishes, won't you?"

Tony's skin crawled. "Yeah, I will," he said softly.

Obadiah seemed satisfied with that response and stepped back from the desk. "Well, if that is all, I should get back. I have just one thing to finish up before I head out for the evening."

"That was all. I just wanted you to know," Tony said.

"Thank you for telling me. Have a good night," Obadiah said, heading for the doors.

Tony didn't have it in him to respond, he just watched as the man left the room, the security closing the door behind him. The room was silent after his departure.

"Shit," Tony hissed to himself. He pulled out his phone to call Loki. Obadiah had been acting way too fishy for Loki's words not to be true. He couldn't even believe he had even doubted Loki for a second.

The phone only rang once. "Hello?"

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief at hearing Loki's voice. "You were right," Tony said immediately. "Obadiah's planning something and we're going to figure out what it is."

"I love it when I'm right!" Loki responded gleefully.

"So I'll be home in probably ten and we can get—"

"Hold on," Loki interrupted. "Someone's at the door."

A pounding thumped in Tony's chest. "Don't answer it," he told him urgently.

But Loki was already putting the phone down. Tony could only hear shuffling.

"Loki?" Tony called again. There was too much silence. "Loki?"

The line went dead.


	24. Alone

Loki had spent the rest of his day, after Tony had left, being a bum. This was not a fact he was proud of. In fact, for the first time in a long time, Loki wished he could attend classes like normal without the never-ending despair that seemed to follow him. Because of his memory issues, then the swelling in his brain, and now with his psychological issues, he had not had the chance to enroll in new classes nor even make an effort to think about it.

But now, as Loki laid upside on the couch with feet propped over the back, Loki stared at the ceiling, wishing he had a purpose. From time to time, Loki glanced at his ring fondly or spent a few minutes petting Sprinkles before the cat betrayed him and disappeared again.

Giving up, Loki resigned himself to getting out his computer. He decided to surf the internet, wholly uninterested. He did find some tabloids excitedly talking about the few shots they got of Tony Stark with a new ring on his finger. But when Loki got to the inevitable stories about his stay at the hospital or the Loki-bashing stories, he snapped his computer shut.

Well, he better call Thor and tell him he's getting married before he found out from the tabloids. He got out his phone, once again propping himself up upside down on the couch. The phone rang, going almost to voicemail, when Thor picked up last second. "Loki! How is your freedom?"

Loki grinned, "It's fantastic, of course. Soon enough I'll be as good as new."

"I must come and visit, brother," Thor boomed. "We should celebrate."

Curling a finger through his messy locks of hair, Loki nodded to himself. "You should. It's been a while since we just hung out," Loki said.

"Perhaps this weekend!" he responded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, and then I can show you the ring Tony got me!"

There was a pause. Loki waited patiently, letting his smile grow as he could practically imagine Thor going from confused to excited. "WHAT?"

"Oh, Tony just asked me to marry him—"

"WHAT! When did this happen?" Thor hollered into the phone.

"Saturday."

"I can't believe it! This is amazing, Loki. To think, Tony Stark would ask you to marry him."

Loki scoffed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean Tony just seems like the type to drag out a relationship ten years before getting married."

"Well," Loki began, feeling his face growing with embarrassed heat, "it turns out Tony is a romantic."

"Oh this is great! I have to tell Jane!"

Loki laughed. "Hey, while you're at it, why don't you tell everyone else too? I'm way too lazy to call them."

"You are a horrible friend, but yes, I will call them," Thor agreed without much fight. "Don't worry, I'm sure they will all call you later to give you their congratulations!"

"No," Loki moaned, digging the heel of his palm into his tired eyes. "That's exactly what I wanted to avoid." His phone beeped twice, drawing his attention away. He lifted the phone and realized Tony was the incoming call. "Gotta go," Loki he told Thor, pulling the phone back to his ear. "Tony is calling." Loki hung up on him and answered Tony's call. "Hello?"

A heavy breath blew into the phone. "You were right," Tony said immediately. "Obadiah's planning something and we're going to figure out what it is."

"I love it when I'm right!" Loki said, flipping himself off the couch from his upside down position.

"So I'll be home in probably ten and we can get—"

"Hold on," Loki interrupted, hearing a knock at the front. "Someone's at the door."

Loki put the phone down, hearing but not making out Tony saying something over the phone. Instead he turned to the door and crossed the room, wondering who it could be. Maybe it was Pepper, dropping something off? He paused briefly at the door before opening it. At first he didn't see anyone. That is, until a figure suddenly appeared, too quick for Loki react, grabbing Loki and smashing a wet cloth over his mouth and nose.

Loki breathed in deeply, getting ready to scream, to make some kind of nose, but when he breathed in, he instantly knew what was going to happen. His fingers automatically tore at the cloth and the man holding him tightly from behind.

His vision dipped and he could only watch silently as another walked into the room and hung up Loki's phone. Black blotches appears over his eyes and he knew he was going to black out. He breathed in another sharp breath, his struggle coming to an end as quickly as it had started when his body collapsed inward into the man.

The last thing Loki felt was the ring on his finger, two sizes too big, sliding off of his finger and collapsing with a clunk onto the hard wood floor. After that, everything was just blank nothingness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Black shadows edged Loki's vision, swimming around him, making him sick. The sensation of hard wood floor pressed against his cheek filtered into his awareness as his body finally awoke from the forced sleep. His body was heavy, as if he was under water.

Groaning, Loki moved his head just an inch, reeling back when a now noticeable headache spike in pain. He moaned, slowly inching his hands to touch his temples.

"Ah, he's awake," someone said softly.

Loki laid still longer, going in and out of consciousness, feeling his body pulse as his heart thumped like a drum. It _hurt._

"Tony?" he whispered, forcing his eyes open, then blinking sluggishly when the light assaulted his pupils. The world was a blur in front of him. Something smelled a bit too much bleach.

"Guess again," a man said above him. The man tapped Loki's face with his shoe and Loki closed his eyes again, losing himself to the darkness for a second.

A meow from his left had him opening his eyes again to see Sprinkles, at least it looked like him, sitting underneath the bed. The cat watched but did nothing. God dammit, Sprinkes, help me! The words Loki wanted to say came out as groan, his hand shaking as he reached forward.

"Get that cat out of here," someone said.

Nausea rose in Loki's throat until another person replied, "Nah, leave it. What's a cat going to you?"

Loki watched Sprinkles a while longer, realizing how scared Sprinkles looked. Suddenly Amora appeared in his vision. She looked as worried as Loki felt. She didn't say anything at first and in fact, her body faded in and out of existance as Loki fought the strange haze he was in.

"They're going to kill Tony," she said, her voice echoing like she was across a valley. Loki blinked slowly, trying to grasp the words. His body hurt and shook but his heart was heavy as he finally remembered, realized the situation was in. "He's going to die."

A whimper escaped him and he squeezed his eyes shut as his eyes sprang with quiet tears. He scraped his nails across the hard wood floor. Was it really too late? Was Obadiah going to kill Tony while Loki was lying on this floor?

"You have to stay still," she said. "Don't let them kill you."

Loki cried out at her words, fighting the sinking feeling. He didn't know what was happening to Tony. Who knows, maybe Loki was going to be the one who dies today. He didn't even know who his attackers might be.

"Shut him up already!" the first man spat.

A kick slammed into Loki's gut and he cried out with the pain and the crunching sensation in his ribs. Another kick and another and suddenly Loki was spitting up blood.

"Stay still, Loki," Amora said again, crouching over him. "Don't let them kill you."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Damn it!" Tony yelled as the line went dead. He slammed the phone down on his desk, breathing sharply with building panic. It couldn't be Obadiah at his apartment. There was no way the man could move that fast. Tony did not, however, have a doubt that Obadiah had planned this in order to get the company. Was Obadiah really willing to do something like this in order to run a stupid business? Tony ran his fingers through his hair before grabbing the phone again and heading to the door.

He flexed his fingers in anticipation as he left his office. He nodded to his guards that stood outside the door and walked swiftly down the hallways with his security following. There weren't many people in the office at this time but the few that were only gave Tony a spare glance before going back quickly to their work. Tony walked by them all as if he were marching to his grave, feeling his heart pound against his chest.

Reaching the elevator, he stabbed a finger against the down button and then waited for what felt like forever for the lift to come.

When it opened, Tony froze. Inside stood Obadiah and on other side stood two men, dressed much like Tony's own security. But then again, Tony realized, his security really weren't his own. Especially when the two who had followed him grabbed him by the arms and held him still.

Obadiah smiled cruelly at him. "Why don't we go on a walk?"

"What are you going to do to Loki?" Tony spat.

"Honestly, you should be more worried about yourself and what will happen to you." He waved Tony and the men inside. "Come on, we have places to be."

The security pushed Tony inside the elevator and the doors closed behind them, trapping Tony in his doom.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The men had eventually stopped kicking Loki but he laid there in pain, feeling numb, and was unseeing to the world. Amora kept up a string of words as she leaned over him, speaking to him as if she were whispering secrets. "You just have to let them do what they want or else it will end up like the bathtub, Loki. You can't let them drown you. Don't let them do it. You just need to lie here and just be still and wait for it to be over and don't let them drown you—" And her words went on and on.

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, breathing rapidly as he felt the water fill up around him, threatening to spill over his lips. He waited for the fiery burn of water smothering his lungs and stealing his soul from his body. He laid there in never-ending frightening anticipation.

They were really going to kill him this time.

"Yes, they'll kill you," Amora told him, speaking faster. "If you even twitch, they will throw you in the bathtub and you will be dead, just like Odin always wanted you to be. You will die if you move."

His whole body was tensed, trembling without his realization. He could feel Odin's hands on him, Frigga's spindly fingers holding him down, the water against his skin, the press of a gun against his temple.

Wait. That last one was real.

An unexpected kick to Loki's side sent Loki curling rapidly into himself, crying out as pain exploded in his already abused ribs. A hand grabbed at Loki's hair, yanking him upwards. Loki was forced to open his eyes and glare at his attackers. The one that held him by his hair shoved a gun roughly against his head.

"Yeah, just like that," the other said, laughing. In his hands he held Loki's phone and he took a photo of Loki with a click, the flash going off blindingly. "I'm sure the boss will love this one."

The other grasped Loki's hair tighter, forcing tears from Loki's eyes. "Tony Stark will like the photos we send of you. And we have a lot of different things planned for you." He released Loki and Loki fell sorely against the wood floor.

"See what happens?" Amora asked him, stroking his hair where the man had held him. "They will do bad things to you if you do anything. Don't let them do the bad things."

Loki slowly blinked, blocking everything out, withdrawing into himself more, and listened only to Amora as she continued to talk. He let his eyes focused on her and just watched her, trusting her.

But the more he looked at her, the more she looked… _wrong._ She was wearing that stupid bookstore apron again. There were no shoes on her feet. And she… she was transparent. He could see Sprinkles watching him through Amora's body and suddenly it hit him. She wasn't real. With all his heart he realized she wasn't real and that she wasn't going to be able to help him.

Most of all, he realized, that he was 100% alone.


	25. Now or Never

Tony watched as the numbers on the elevator went up as then men patted Tony down, taking his phone. Why the hell were they going up on this elevator, rather than down? What did they possibly have planned?

When the numbers dinged the top floor, the roof top, Tony glanced over at Obadiah in disbelief. "We're talking business on the roof?"

Obadiah cast him a smug smile. "Yeah, something like that."

The top of the Stark Industries tower was a flat surface, the perfect space for a helicopter to land, but that was about all they used the area for. Tony couldn't remember the last time he had been up here, probably when his father had been alive when they'd taken the helicopter to the military station that they were negotiating the next deal at.

The doors slid open in front of Tony and he was nudged out by one of the bodyguards. Obadiah stepped out behind him, following him a few paces. Tony turned back just in time to watch the other four guards head back down the elevator, the doors closing on them.

"Where are they going?" Tony asked, annoyed.

Obadiah waved Tony away from the elevator. "I told them that I wouldn't involve them in what comes next. This next bit is between you and me."

"Why the hell would I stay up here?" Tony growled out. He turned and headed back to the elevator.

A click of the safety on a gun had Tony freezing in his tracks. He held still as the gun was pressed dangerously against the back of his skull. "This will stop you," Obadiah said shortly. "Now come on, walk with me."

Tony turned when the gun was pulled away from his head and they walked across the landing pad past the stationary helicopter, sitting silently to their right. The New York City lights were bright around them, especially when they neared the end of building.

Obadiah held his gun at his side while he approached the ledge and looked over it. He whistled. "It's a long way down, Tony."

"Okay, what's this about?" Tony spat. "What are you doing to Loki?"

"You should see this lovely picture the boys sent from your apartment." He took his phone out with one hand flicked through it quickly, pointing the gun wildly in all directions as he moved his phone around. Finally, after the longest seconds of Tony's life, Tony was confronted with the horrifying image of Loki being held up by his hair and a glinting gun pressed against his head. Loki's eyes were low lidded, clearly drugged by something, but regardless there was a frightened anger dancing in his eyes. Tony felt his disgust crawling down his back.

Tony slapped the phone away, which bounced down across the pavement. It did not break but it was several paces away from the two of them. "Okay, you bastard. What is it that you want?"

"The company," Obadiah said simply.

Tony scoffed. "You really think that threatening me and Loki's life is going to get you this company? Say I do sign it over, what are you going to when I get my lawyers involved? And the police?"

"I could make Loki disappear in an instant. I could kill him," Obadiah mused, leaning back against the ledge, "or I could even make it so you never see him again, living somewhere where you'll never find him and you'll have to live with the fact that I will make sure he suffers."

"You forget," Tony said, taking a side step towards Obadiah's phone laying on the concrete, "your phone is unprotected. I could use the evidence to—."

"And you forget who is holding the gun!" Obadiah hollered, shoving the gun in Tony's general direction.

Tony froze for a second. He and Obadiah stared at each other.

In the next moment, Tony was ducking and Obadiah fired a shot, the gun echoing over the empty air. Tony swung his leg underneath Obadiah and took the man down, another shot ringing out but flying haphazardly into the air. Tony wrestled the man and the gun was knocked from Obadiah's shaking hand. The metal grated against the concrete audibly.

Tony breathed rapidly as he fought for control, attempting to keep Obadiah underneath him. His fingers ached as the body beneath him thrashed and jerked.

Obadiah heaved him heavily and Tony was thrown aside. He hit the ledge with a groan of pain as the hard concrete rattled up his spine. Copper-flavored blood filled Tony's mouth from where he bit the inside of his cheek and he spat the out the blood before launching himself onto Obadiah's back before he could again reach the gun.

The two fell with their combined weight. Obadiah gasped out when he took the impact and Tony felt a quick flare of pride, rushing through the thump of his blood.

But he only had a second of victory before Obadiah, out of nowhere, swung a fist, impacting Tony's face with a sickening crack. The blow rattled Tony and he was down in an instant as his vision went in and out of black. He spat out more blood, crawling across the concrete after Obadiah.

Obadiah had made it to the gun and pulled it into his hand hastily, turning on Tony, but Tony was already at him, blood rushing through his ears, making him deaf to the world. He grabbed Obadiah's arm, forcing it into the sky just as he fired again. The bullet disappeared into the night sky.

"Why won't you die?" Obadiah spat.

Tony punched the bastard with all his might and his bones shook with the satisfying crack as he broke Obadiah's nose. The man howled but did not drop the gun. It did give Tony enough time to pin the man down, throwing his full weight onto his chest.

The larger weight of Obadiah overtook Tony an instant and Obadiah was rolling them so that he was on top. Then, just as quickly as the fight had started, the two froze panting wildly.

Obadiah had a hand pressed painfully into Tony's neck with the gun pressed harshly against Tony's temple. "You are going to sign this document or you are going to die."

Tony watched as something flashed behind the man's eyes. Then it dawned on him. "You are going to kill me anyway. I'm going to sign it and you will kill me."

"You will kill yourself," Obadiah corrected, looking wild with the blood pouring from his nose. "The only difference is that if you do this willingly, I will let Loki go completely." He shoved the gun against Tony causing him to wince. "Now are you going to go willingly or not?"

Tony sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he let the reality of the situation settle around him. "I guess… I guess the easy way."

"Good," Obadiah said, huffing with relief. Obadiah kept the gun where it was but reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a rolled document and a pen.

While he was distracted, Tony yanked the gun away from his head as he kneed Obadiah unceremoniously in the groin. The gun once again slid away but Tony was released and he took his chance to instead run to the discarded phone. He grabbed it up and sprinted away from the man, heading around the side of the helicopter just another bullet bounced off the helicopter.

Tony brought the phone to life as ran, ducking to the side of the helicopter, breathing hard as he tried to pinpoint where Obadiah would be. The phone, of course was locked, but luckily Tony was still able to dial out of the phone. He quickly dialed 911.

Another bullet rang out, bouncing dangerously near Tony. Tony cursed and quickly hoisted himself into the cab of the helicopter, closing the door behind him.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My name is Tony Stark," he yelled into the phone as another bullet whizzed through the window, showering glass over him. "I am trapped on the roof of the Stark Industries tower. New York City. A man with a gun!"

"We will dispatch emergency immediately, sir."

"And please, send someone to my address. My fiancé is at the apartment being held hostage!" Tony yelled as he jumped out the opposite door of the helicopter. He quickly gave the address just as another shot rang out. Tony then tossed the phone over the edge of the Stark Tower, where it hurtled to the ground below. He didn't know why he had done that. He had just thrown away his evidence, but he guessed with the police coming, there was enough already here to damn Obadiah.

"The police is coming," Tony screamed at Obadiah.

"You just screwed yourself," Obadiah said, pointing the gun right at Tony's chest.

Tony froze, not sure what to do in that moment. He had nowhere to run.

"Climb up on the ledge, Tony."

"What?" Tony frowned at him, heart pounding.

"I want you to jump."

"I'm not going to jump."

"Then Loki dies!"

"Your phone is gone, Obadiah! You have no hold over me now!"

Obadiah shook his head, smiling sadly. "Then I'm sorry. If you don't jump, I'm going to have to kill you. What will it be, Tony?"

Tony took a step backwards, allowing his back to hit the ledge and he breathed raggedly. Was he really going to die here? After a deep breath, Tony decided. He was going to go down fighting. "I'm not going to jump."

Obadiah paused, shaking his head again. "Then I'm sorry for this, Tony."

The gun fired.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"You're not real," Loki told Amora, his vision still swimming. His words had come out audibly and then two men around him, looked down at him in surprise.

"Shut up, would you?" One of them said, kicking Loki lightly.

Loki winced but kept his eyes on Amora. She was flickering in and out of reality and Loki's realization grew stronger and heavier. "You can't help me," he growled out at her.

She said nothing but flickered faster, looking at him sadly.

Loki felt his body quake with anger, fear, and adrenaline. "You aren't real!" Loki screamed at her.

With his words, she disappeared instantly and completely and at the same moment, a man kicked Loki painfully in the head. Loki screamed out as his body skidded, smearing blood across their bedroom floor.

Loki, despite the pain, despite the despair of being alone, picked himself up onto his hands and knees. He felt blood trickling in his hair. Honestly, he could easily give up, he could lie down and take everything until it all ended. His decision wavered and he panted, staring at the ground as he tried to decide what to do next.

His mind hurtled through images of the past. It was again with the bathtub, the water, and the hands around him. He heaved uneasily, panicking at the images.

Suddenly, a loud hiss had Loki turning just in time to watch Sprinkles hurtle out from beneath the bed, sliding to stand his ground in front of where Loki was crouching. Loki's eyes widened as a mere cat tried to protect him from his attackers.

Worse though, Loki screamed out as the closest man kicked Sprinkles away hard, the cat hitting the wall hard. Its tiny body fell limply.

Loki snapped. He screamed with his rage and ran at his attackers. He wasn't going to sit by while others got hurt from him. He wasn't going to cower or cry anymore. He was going to take these men down before they did it to him.

He tackled the man who had kicked Sprinkles and screeched inhumanly into the man's face as he swung a punch into his ugly face. He geared up for another but he was yanked off of the shuddering body. The second man backhanded Loki, causing Loki to spin with the force of it. He fell heavily against the bed and Loki tore the bedsheets from the bed as he grabbed desperately for something to break his fall. He landed, jamming his elbow brutally against the floor. The sensation of needle pricks flooded his arm.

The second man was on Loki in and instant and he wrapped his thick, sweaty hands around Loki's thin neck, choking Loki off from air.

Loki thrashed with all his might as the air was stolen from him. He kicked and tore at the fingers, but his vision was already starting to fade. He was going to die. He was going to die!


	26. A Final Leap

Tony's shoulder exploded with pain from the impact of the bullet, his whole body jolting with the momentum. He cried out and reeled back against the stone ledge, his hand hovering over the injured area. He knew if he touched it, it would only get more painful.

"Holy fuck, Obadiah," Tony spat out, his vision blurring. In the distance he could already hear the sirens of the police.

"They're going to be too late," Obadiah said, walking a bit closer and steadying his aim now at Tony's head.

"You're really going to kill me for the company? Do you really want to go to prison that badly?"

"You are the one killing yourself, remember?"

Tony huffed in exasperation. "A suicidal man does not shoot himself in the freakin' shoulder!"

Obadiah glared at him, clearly realizing his grave mistake. "Fuck," he spat. He shook his head in disbelief and then shoved the gun to Tony's forehead. "Then I guess it doesn't matter what I do anymore. I might as well kill you, since I'm going to be put away for a long time anyway."

"No," Tony said, wagging his finger at the man. His eyes were watering heavily. "How about instead we say the gunshot wound was an accident, and you let me free? No one would have to know about it."

Obadiah shoved the gun even harder against Tony, jostling the injured man. Tony winced. "Or not…"

"You and I both know that even if I walk now, there is no way you would let me off scot free. Everything I risked this for is going to crumble today and there's nothing I can do about it. But the least that I could do is take you out with me."

"Let's not do that," Tony started.

Obadiah grabbed Tony's face angrily with his free hand, shaking him. "You do not have a say in this! I am the man with the gun!"

"Okay, okay! You're the man with the gun," Tony relented, standing perfectly still. His thumping heart threatened to leap right out of his chest. "Let's just take it easy. Let's talk about this."

Obadiah's eyes were wild and Tony knew he would not be reasoned with. He had to think of some way to get out of this and fast.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki's vision was blurring and going black. There was not much more he could take.

Suddenly the hands were off of him and he heaved, his throat burning as he coughed and sucked in precious air. Over his wheezing, he could hear the men yelling.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man? You almost killed him!"

"We should just get it over with. He's a little shit."

"We haven't gotten the signal. We can't just kill him. What if the boss needs him? Then it would be our skins he would be hunting, okay?"

Though Loki was completely drained, he used the last of his strength to aim a heavy kick into the shin into the nearest man. The oaf went down like a sack of bricks, yelping from the sudden pain. The second guard took out his gun and it clicked as he aimed it at Loki, his face streaming with blood from Loki's earlier attack. "Alright, no more of this, you got that?"

Suddenly the doors banged open and several bodies flooded into the apartment. "Police!" someone hollered.

The man with the gun grabbed Loki, locking Loki to his chest and pressing the gun into Loki's hair. "Stay back or I will shoot!"

There was a split second where everyone froze. For a split second, Loki felt the man slacken his grin and Loki yanked himself out of the way just as the gun went off, right over his head. The whole place fell into chaos.

Loki scrambled away from them, watching in horror with wide eyes as the police rushed the man, tackling him while the others aimed their guns aimed to kill. Loki looked away as the struggling kidnapper pistol whipped the closest police officer, not able to watch the horrific scene any longer. Several were on him at once to extract the gun.

Letting the police do their thing, Loki crawled his way over to Sprinkles who was lying not too far away and scooped the cat into his arms. The cat was still alive thankfully and Sprinkles opened his eyes at the sensation of being held but it looked like his leg was broken.

Loki pressed the cat to his face, feeling so guilty but relieved all at once.

When they had finally wrestled the men under control and started to walk them out the door, a policewomen approached Loki, draping a blanket over his shoulder. "We have to get you to the hospital."

"Tony. We have to get to Tony first," Loki said numbly, tears leaking from his eyes as he looked down at his injured cat. "He's in trouble."

"We have a second squad over there now. But right now we have to get you to the hospital."

"Please," Loki begged. "We have to help him. I don't know what is happening to him over there, please." Loki broke out into sobs, heaving from his belly as the reality of everything crashed around him. He was almost killed again and his fiancé could most certainly already be dead at the hands of Obadiah. Who knows what the man was capable of?

She looked at him with complete pity. "Fine, we can go over there, but we are not leaving the squad car. For your safety and protection, I cannot allow you to intervene."

"Thank you," Loki choked out. He forced himself to his feet, willing to take the little chance he had to at least be there for Tony.

"But you have to understand, that this is very serious situation. Tony Stark is currently under gunpoint and they have to work to get him out safely like we did for you. It could very well be an upsetting scene for you."

Loki sniffed, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. "I have to be there. Even if he… If Tony… If I can't see him before he…"

The policewoman put her hand out to stop him. "We will go, but you have to promise to do what I say and we will leave if I believe we must."

Loki nodded, his heart thudding. "Someone has to take Sprinkles to the vet hospital," Loki responded, holding Sprinkles out like a gift. The cat meowed pitifully at the movement and Loki silently apologized to the cat. He had a fiancé to see.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony breathed shallowly as he realized that anything he could say would not stop this man from shooting him right now. He wished he could say that his life was flashing before his eyes but that definitely was not the case. All he could see was Obadiah's cruel dead eyes as the man stared Tony down like death itself. He did not know if he would ever see Loki or his friends again, but he knew there was nothing else he could do now. He was out of moves. Check mate.

"Nothing you say will work on me," Obadiah whispered, leaning in close, still holding Tony's chin to force him to look into the face of his killer. "Now get up." He let go of Tony's face roughly and backed off, getting to his own feet.

For a moment, Tony watched him in a daze.

"Get up!" Obadiah cried. The sirens were loud and blaring now. Shouts sounded from below the building. It was now or never.

Tony stood slowly, shaking, holding hands out in front of himself defensively. "We can stop this, Obadiah."

Obadiah shot his gun, aiming to the left of Tony who jumped at the sound, eyes wide. "I'm not messing around anymore, Stark!" He gestured with his gun to Tony. "Climb the ledge."

Tony did not want to turn his back on the man but he had no choice. He turned slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements and turned to the cement ledge. Placing his hands against the cool stone, Tony heaved himself onto the ledge and stood carefully, using his hands for balance.

Looking over the New York City street long below them, Tony rocked on his feet. He could feel the harsh wind rushing around him as he stared down at the tiny ant-like people below and the little toy cars. There were squad cars parked haphazardly along the street, lights flashing. It was a long way to drop. No ledges or fire escapes to catch him early. Just the never-ending drop into the sidewalk cement.

He supposed the cement would shatter when he hit, wouldn't it?

"You're going to make me jump aren't you?" Tony said, his tears finally spilling over silently.

"Yes, Tony, I am," Obadiah said evenly. He pressed the gun into Tony's spine. "I could push you myself right now or shoot you and let you go over, but I'm going to let you do this yourself. I will do you the favor and let you take your own life."

"Go to Hell," Tony spat out.

"I very well, might," Obadiah chuckled. "Now jump, Tony. Go on. Even if the police show, they will not save you. I will kill you if I see any of them."

Tony looked down again. This was it. He really was going to die in the worst way he could have imagined for himself. He'd thought he would have died from crashing a fast car or from heart attack or something stupid… but not this. Never this.

A second click sounded. "Then good thing the police isn't here," a familiar woman's voice said.

Tony looked over his shoulder and was instantly shocked. "Pepper," he said weakly. She was alone, hands shaking on a small gun pressed against Obadiah's head.

"Let Tony go," she demanded, voice shaking.

"Don't make me shoot him," Obadiah said, tilting his head just a little to look at her through the corner of his eyes.

"And don't make me shoot you, you creep!" she spat at him.

"Yes, Obadiah, be a dear and back off." Tony grinned at him without humor.

"You just bought yourself a bullet, Tony," Obadiah said.

Tony wasn't smiling anymore.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki was in the back of the squad car when they pulled up to the Stark Industries tower and the stopped on the edge of the commotion. Loki pressed himself against the glass of the passenger seat, staring out, trying to figure what was happening. There were few police officers out here in the street, but the ones that were, as well as the civilians, were looking up at the building, pointing and shouting.

The policewoman rolled the window down for him and Loki stuck his head out the window and warily looked up into the dark night. At first Loki saw nothing but the black sky and the bright lights from the New York City street. A moment later his eyes focused on a figure against the sky, standing at the edge of the building.

The terror the clutched at Loki's heart told him that that was Tony. And he cried out when he heard a gunshot against the New York bustle, echoing distantly and eerily.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A gunshot rang out, causing Tony's ears to go deaf to everything but the ringing in his ears, flooding his senses. Tony felt himself being lightly pushed by the gun to his back and he teetered, wind-milling his arms and gasping as he edged dangerously to the drop. He cried out when he was roughly grabbed onto by the wrist and yanked backwards back onto the roof top, landing painfully onto the cement with a thud.

"It's okay Tony, I got you," Pepper told him, crouching down and wrapping her arms around him. Her face was splattered with blood.

"Pepper, did you…?"

"No!" she said, and they both looked over at Obadiah who was on the ground, clutching his right arm, blood gushing from the wound. "The police showed just in time," she said, looking at the approaching NYPD and stroked Tony's hair.

Tony sighed in relief and allowed her to hold him a while longer, allowing his heart to slow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Loki watched in absolute horror as the minutes ticked by and they heard nothing. He watched as different officers filtered in and out of the building and as more people gathered at the scene, including news stations and the media.

Ignoring the protests of the policewoman, he had gotten out of the car, still wrapped in his blanket and clutched it closer as he leaned against the squad car. He winced at the occasional flash of camera as the tabloids took his picture for their juicy story. He probably looked like an absolute wreck, bruised and bloody.

Then, finally, the doors opened and they were escorting Obadiah out of the building, caked in blood with a bandage wrapped around his arm that was slowly soaking through. One of the paramedics trailed after his as they led him away.

Loki's entire body was tense and pulsing. What had happened to Tony? Was he alive? Injured? Why couldn't anyone tell him already?

A few more tense minutes passed before the door opened again. Out strolled Pepper Potts and behind her… "Tony!" Loki rasped loudly, voice sore from the choking. He dropped the blanket and ran to him. Tony looked up with absolute fright.

"Loki, oh my god!" He yelled back.

They ignored the watching people around them and met halfway, embracing immediately. Tony winced right away. "Hold up, Loks. I'm an injured man."

"Holy shit, what happened to you? I'm so sorry! I should have warned you earlier about this and—"

"No, if anyone should be apologizing, it should be me," Tony interrupted, holding Loki at arms' length, watching as Loki promptly broke into a sob. "I should have listened to you earlier and I should have kept you safe. And what happened to your neck?!"

Loki sniffed and looked at him sheepishly. "Just a bit of a choking. What happened to your arm?"

Tony huffed, smiling but drained. "Just a bit of a shooting."

Loki threw himself into Tony's arms and sobbed, pressing his face into Tony's chest. "We have the worst fucking luck."

"But we made it, we're okay," he murmured, stroking Loki's stringy hair out of his face, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Sprinkles is in a vet hospital," Loki said into Tony's chest.

Tony gasped. "What? What happened to him?"

Loki pulled back, wiping furiously at his eyes. "I'll tell you later. We should probably get you to the hospital."

"And you too, Loks," Tony said, ghosting his fingers across Loki's badly bruised throat.

Loki gave him a crooked smile and took his hand, leading him wordlessly in the direction of the ambulance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay Tuned for the epilogue.


	27. Epilogue

Tony woke sharply from his nightmare, panting with his racing heart as the image of guns and building ledges faded from his mind. He pressed a hand to his pounding chest and turned his head to look at his clock which was glaring in red, 12:21 AM. So, it was only just a little after midnight. He'd been barely sleeping for an hour and the nightmares were already starting in?

He looked across the bed for Loki but found it empty except for sleeping Sprinkles. However, he did find the open window. Getting silently out of bed, Tony crept across the quiet room and leaned out of the window, catching the silhouette of Loki sitting on the roof, facing his old house. "Couldn't sleep either?" Tony asked, pulling himself through the window.

Loki jumped a little at his voice but smiled. "No, but it's mostly because I stayed up late last night working on that lit paper… College is harder than I remember."

"Sometimes that happens when you have to take a semester off," Tony said, settling himself on the rough shingles besides his fiancé. "But seriously, Loks. You're not worried?"

"About our wedding? No, it'll be big and grand and gorgeous I'm sure…"

"But you have that crease between your eyebrows," Tony told him, poking Loki to smooth out the lines. "So you're worried about something."

"I just… Ever since the incident in New York, I haven't seen Amora or any of the other hallucinations. It's been pretty controlled since the doctor increased my dosage. But I'm afraid." Loki pulled his knees to his chest. "I'm afraid they'll come back."

Tony nudged Loki. "You can't be afraid of something that happened yet. Even if it does happen, we'll deal with it. We've been through worse, haven't we? What more could happen?"

"Please don't say that," Loki told him, sighing and pressing his forehead to his knees.

"Besides, this isn't how we should be spending our last few hours of being bachelors! We should be celebrating before the big day!"

"What do you have in mind, Tony?"

"How about we grab some of that pizza that you and Thor get while I'm at work."

Loki laughed. "You're still mad about that? We got it two times and we can't blamed if you don't come home before we eat it all!"

"I'm a busy man, Loks. Building headquarters in this Podunk town is more work than you'd think!"

Loki pushed him playfully. "Come on, let's get our food." Loki led the way back through the window.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki slammed his car door shut, following Tony into the pizzeria. "What kind did you order?"

"Hawaiian." He caught Loki's disgusted face. "Don't worry, I made half of the pizza cheese for you."

"Thank everything that is holy," Loki laughed.

Tony pushed open the shop doors, saying, "You know, I still don't understand how you love cheese pizza but you hate mac and cheese. They both have cheese and both are delicious! It doesn't make any sense!"

The place was empty except for two workers bustling about. "Because mac and cheese tastes artificial and slimy."

"Your mind is an enigma," Tony told him as they approached the cash register.

The blonde girl turned. "Hello, picking up?"

Loki froze, shell-shocked. No, it wasn't happening here, right now, was it? Before him stood Amora, dressed in a full pizzeria uniform.

"Tony, are you seeing this?"

The girl looked confused as Tony really looked at her, finally noticing her nametag that read, _Amora._ "Uh, do we know you?" Tony asked.

"No?" the girl said. "But we have gotten orders from your place before, so maybe we saw each other at some point."

Loki burst out laughing, shaking his head. He leaned heavily on Tony. "I can't believe this is happening to me. This is the icing on the top of the cake, isn't it, Tony?"

"Umm, Loki. Do we need to…?"

"Nope," he told Tony. "Let's just get our pizza and eat. We gotta sleep before the wedding tomorrow."

"Oh, you two are getting married tomorrow?" The girl said pleasantly, handing over their pizza. She had no clue that Loki had imprinted on her image for months and had hallucinated her as his imaginary friend. Loki tried to keep his laughter under control.

Instead he grinned and looked over at Tony, who beamed happily back. "Yes, we're getting married and it'll be our happily ever after."

Tony nodded. "Damn straight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that took the time to read and review this story! I appreciate every single one of you, since you helped me through the last lag of the story, during which I had writer's block a majority of the time. It feels so bittersweet to have finished out this three-part series and I hope you had fun! Thanks for sticking with me. Maybe I'll see you in future stories. Love you!


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